Dec 28, 2013

Non-physical swords

Ethereal swords that harms spirit and mind, but leaves the body untouched.

Roll to hit as normal, but for target AC use the attribute that the sword targets. 

To create a sword, roll for appearance (two rolls), attribute and effect table (depends on attribute).

Appearance (roll twice; start with a standard sword)
1. S-shaped blade
2. Blade is like a wedge
3. Jagged
4. Blade is swirly, and engraved with a moral story
5. Blade is composed of stacked V:s (e.g. no pointy end)
6. Two thin, parallel blades
7. Filled with letter-shaped holes
8. Blade always seems to be pointing at the viewer, no matter the angle
9. Hilt is a living rodent
10. In windy places, the sword whistles
11. Blade is the length of a dagger, but the hilt is the size of that of a two-handed sword
12. Blade is impossible to sheathe

Targets this attribute (look up exact effect on its table below)
1-2. Intelligence
3-4. Wisdom
5-6. Charisma

Effects on hit: Intelligence
1. Releases one random spell (if applicable; otherwise nothing happens)
2. Target may only speak in verbs
3. Target's next move will be irrational and not very well planned
4. The common tongue is no longer understood by the target
5. Bleeds intelligence points; one point is lost per round (save ends; can't go below 3)
6. Target gets lost in an old riddle s/he suddenly remembers (save ends; unable to speak/react/move unless struck physically)

Effects on hit: Wisdom
1. Target gets a false memory about his/her current whereabouts; s/he will feel very strongly about it
2. Will only notice every other person in his/her vicinity (save ends)
3. Attacker shares one slice of his/her own wisdom, that is diametrically opposite of what the target believes in
4. Lose faith; start crying (save ends)
5. Lacunar amnesia:

  1. Memorized spells are forgotten
  2. Attacker is forgotten
  3. Current objective is forgotten
  4. Own name is forgotten

6. Everyone's a stranger; every new face is a possible friend

Effects on hit: Charisma
1. The next person the target talks to believes s/he is lying
2. One random hireling/henchman of the target suddenly feels disgusted by his/her presence; will leave next night (50 % chance will steal something as well)
3. Turn undead will attract instead of repent
4. Target's party believes him/her to be a traitor of their current cause
5. 1 point of Charisma is spilled on the floor; it materializes into a ghastly rat and runs away unless the target manages to catch it (which will restore the lost Charisma point)
6. Every word that leaves target's mouth annoys the receiver (save ends; annoyance may build up to violence if going on for too long)

Dec 27, 2013

City of B

In the city of B, people adore and worship letters. Most of all, the letter B.

In the beginning, there was nothing but hope.
And then, the twice-pregnant came to B, and turned hope to land and C.
      (from the city's often wrongly cited historical ledger)

Consonants are most valued, because they are hard and indestructible like the mountains.
  • Only people of high age may add a consonant to the beginning of their names
  • The shape of the shield of the town guards reflect their rang; the closer to the letter B, the higher the rang. New recruits may only carry shields shaped like an O, probably because 1) they're supposed to do the fighting and therefore need more protection, and 2) it resembles the sound they make when fighting ("Ouw! Oof!")
  • Criminals have their names stripped of all consonants
  • The coins used are called (in order of value): boles, chives and debris, after the markings on the metals ("B", "C" and "D")

Vowels are the soft seas between the consonants. Wishy-washy things not really meant for pronunciation; more like sounds of someone breathing.

  • Children may only have names consisting of vowels. When they turn 10, they may add three consonants to their names except at the beginning (this day is called the B-day, in honor of the first consonant). At age 40 they may add additional two, or one at the beginning.
  • Most children are named after a specific thing, with all consonants removed. This is to encourage them to complete the name during their lifetime. 
  • When addressing foreigners, one or two vowels are added to the beginning of their names

Dec 23, 2013

Carta mundi

(Labels are missing because my player will see this. Andreas, the desert city of Bandar Karahc is in the top right corner.)

(And god jul, if you celebrate that kind of thing!)

Dec 18, 2013

Compulsive goblin carolers

Goblins love to sing.

Or, rather, to make sounds with their throats that only differs from their usual babble in that it is more rhythmical.

So, goblins love to make sounds with their throats. During the high season of the annual common goblin cold, some are struck by another compulsive behavior: they need to spread these guttural ear diseases throughout the queendoms.

Forming a band of goblin carolers
Grab any number of dice (equal to how many carolers you want), throw them, and look up each die result below.
  • Even number represents multitasking goblins: they both sing and play an instrument
  • Odd number are goblins that just "sings"
  • The number 1 is special: this is a goblin that is conducting the group. This goblin is thankfully mostly quiet

Instrument (even number-goblins)
Those who both sing and play an instrument, may (roll again):
  1. Sing into a wooden bucket, held in front of their face, for that "special" effect
  2. Hit the nearest goblins with a wooden spoon, more or least on beat
  3. Play the "flute", by sticking any number of fingers into their mouth and blow
  4. Play the "trumpet", by grabbing and blowing into another goblin's ear
  5. Snapping their toes
  6. Thrusting a sword into a pile of snow repeatedly 

The conductor
For a baton, this goblin use (roll again):
  1. His long, gnarly nose
  2. Two arrows tied together with a bit of string
  3. A twig, too long to handle gracefully
  4. Piece of goblin underwear 
  5. "INVISIBLE SUPER POINTY SINGY THING!!" (nothing, but he's a great poser)
  6. An animal leg, alarmingly fresh

Titles of songs they may (try) to "sing"
Roll once for each column, combine:

1 The joy of licking sticky trees
2 Hark, the angels are fighting piles of snow
3 Blessed Brood Mother, she who is eating people
4 Goblins sing while gargling loudly
5 Ugly humans, farting poison
6 Snow fall, start being hung over

These bands of goblin carolers travel the roads, sneaking up on people to perform their songs. They will sing 1d4 songs, after which they will attack their audience on sight.

Dec 7, 2013

A bunch of places and stuff

(UPDATE 2019-05-13: there's a recording of this blog post over at Blogs on Tape.)

The Bottomless Forest (area)
Woodlands. Tropical.
A forest where the inhabitants lives in the tree tops, since the roots are carnivorous.

Witch Wart (settlement)
Plateau. Temperate.
A small agricultural society built around a huge, yellow monolith. The big piece of rock is said to belong to a witch that sleeps in the ground. A rumbling snoring can sometimes be heard at night.

Mooncardigan Fen (area)
Marsh. Temperate.
A large marshland, named after the Mooncardigan that's said to originate from here (a dark blue piece of clothing that sedates the wielder). The people living here lives in stilt houses.

Lycanstorp (village)
Plateau. Temperate.
One large, perfectly round house, that actually contains several smaller houses. People suffering from lycanthrope comes here for a safe haven.

Archfoot (area)
Flat. Cold.
This area is covered in inverted mountains in different sizes. Tiny giants are living at the bottom.

Trollbanetorp (castle)
Woodlands. Cold.
A group of exiled goblins have taken this place as their home. They're trying to live like humans, more or less successfully. They hate trolls and cookies with raisins.

Onrecht (city)
Desert. Hot.
One of the three trade cities.
A filthy and dangerous city. Built in layers in some sort of limestone. Rainbow coloured togas are very popular. Veils that protect against the glare of a gorgon (see Mierenhoop) can be bought here, although they wither to dust at midnight.

Mierenhoop (city)
Desert. Hot.
One of the three trade cities.
Not a city for humans, since everyone living here stems directly from a line of gorgons. They're not evil or bad people, it's just that it's rather difficult to trade with someone without looking them in the eyes.

Weegschalen (city)
Desert. Hot.
One of the three trade cities.
This whole city is a big bank. Mountain Kings patrol the "streets", tearing apart any thieves they catch.

The Frostwave (area)
Desert. Arctic.
An enormous (several hundred meters) frozen wave. Rumor has it that there's a rich city at the very top, unaware of the world below it. Peeking inside the ice reveals shadowy figures.

Oct 27, 2013

Planet Percussion

Planet Percussion is a peculiar little planet.

It orbits the great white sun of SELWAY'S STAR.

One third of the planet's surface consists of a thick membrane, and it works much like trampoline. When this side faces away from the sun, it's pulled towards the core of the planet. When gravity's pull on the membrane diminishes, the membrane is released and great bang is produced.

Dropping things into the membrane is a popular way to shoot things into space, like rockets, waste and criminals.

Oct 20, 2013

Tiny helpers

A wizard may summon tiny helpers (imps) by sacrificing some of his life. Each conjured imp requires 1 hp of the wizard.

Unfortunately,  he can't control the exact amount of helpers summoned - he may only vaguely state "a few" (d4), "a bunch" (d6) or "plenty" (d8) beforehand. Roll the die in parenthesis, summon that many imps - and hope your hit points are sufficient.

When the wizard regains his health (through sleep, potions, etc.), an equal amount of imps disappears in a puff of smoke (although some have witnessed tiny explosions as well).

The base characteristics of a tiny helper are:
  • Size of a very large apple
  • Life: 1 hp
  • Weakest armour class
  • Can carry 0.5 kg
  • Speaks balderdash fluently, but understands the wizard perfectly
  • Leather trousers

The summoned imps have other traits as well, but those depend on when the wizard summons the helpers (effects stack):
  • At full moon: gain wings and the ability to fly. No eyes though; they use click-sounds with their tongue to navigate
  • During sunrise: only one eye, but it is twice as big, and it shines as strong as the sun
  • After a big feast (when the wizard's full): can carry 5 kg, but they are fat and doesn't like taking orders
  • During rainfall: can breathe underwater, but will suffocate on land (keep them in a bag of water). Excellent swimmers.
  • On a beach: the helpers are constantly burning, so watch where they put their tiny feet
  • In complete darkness: for some reason, they just can't keep quiet. These imps are known to be able to speak two sentences in the common tongue: "HELLO?" and "WHERE ARE YOU?"

Oct 15, 2013

80s one page dungeon


Entering a room: roll on room table, and so on:

  1. Empty
  2. Low on battery Robo-Robo-Rat
  3. Self-aware Hercules monitor
  4. Waste pool; static leakage from MTV
  5. A sad 404-page
  6. Horny laser-beams
  7. Fear-droids
  8. Low-res versions of the players
  9. Pocket calculator that talks through its LCD-display
  10. Programmable Ray-Guns (bullets are sub-routines)

Oct 13, 2013

The Blood Connoisseur

Oh please, sit, sit!
Don't you lift your finger, not even a bit!
A guest is at his best
when he's served, oh how absurd!
I forgot our cheese!
And crackers! Oh, please,
not to mention, two glasses of red!
Hm, what was that you said?
Pimbleman's Cut?
Oh sweetie surely you're jok-...oh you're not...
That was...a different take,
on, one may say, this toxic some drink today
Just feels like a waste
of tongue and taste...
Oh, listen to me, old and sour!
Hope my warm hospitality didn't turn into a cold shower!
But, you know what? To hell
with crackers and cheese!
I'll taste your Pimbleman, to have you be at ease!
But after that, I will spoil your tongue
with a wine that makes you feel vivid and strong
and we'll dance in this moonlit salon!
Don't be alarmed, miss, but when I kiss
I may just nibble a bit...

Sep 8, 2013

Peddler of imps

Imp peddlers can be found everywhere, from the filthiest, most crowded street corner, to the loneliest road beyond the mountains. But you'll only find them when you're not looking for one.

They sell imps, more precisely the short-lived, chaotic devilkins most folk don't want nothing to do with. The peddlers don't have a stock of imps, but will conjure a fresh one for each buyer (after payment, of course).

The conjured imp will obey its new master most of the time. That is all that is known to the player.

Creating the imp
The imp will live for 2d4 days.

After this, it will:

  1. Start to bloat, until it drifts off like a balloon in the sky
  2. Start to bloat, until it explodes (damages anyone nearby)
  3. Dissipate like water
  4. Turn into 2002 beetles that flies away
  5. Split into two smaller copies, which will split again into smaller copies, and again, and again - until no copy is visible
  6. Turn to marble
  7. Living its life in reverse (backtracking its steps, etc.), down to the very summoning (which will banish it instead)
  8. Become mummified over the course of 10 seconds
  9. Start burning intensively
  10. Head falls off - then the arms - legs - tail

But during its lifetime, it will Crave and Fear an item from the following list (roll for both):
  1. The sight of blood
  2. The smell of flowers
  3. Heights
  4. Hats
  5. Repeating patterns
  6. Water
  7. Paths and trails
  8. Lit torches
  9. Its own reflection
  10. Its own death

Imps are actually capable of scheming, despite common belief, but they're pretty limited. Roll on the table below to get the imp's hidden agenda:
  1. When master no see me, must hide his stuff in ground
  2. When moon is high, must sneak away and find wolves
  3. When master and us is sneaking, must bark loud
  4. When master not watch his plate, must sit on food
  5. When walking, must trip master
  6. When in town, sneak away, spread rumors about master
  7. When see wizard, pretend to be better familiar for he
  8. When sleeping, take stuff from friends and put on master
  9. When sleeping, eat on master's clothes
  10. When meet other imp, learn another scheme 

Aug 25, 2013

Use your body

  1. Poisonous tongue
    Pros: May coat any weapon with a mild poison by licking on it.

    Cons: Must save vs. poison every meal, or risk self-poisoning
  2. Pullnose
    Pros: May extend nose by pulling it, for a chance to gain an even more sensitive nose. Every 10 cm pulled qualifies for a 2d6-roll on the table below (and replaces any previous gained property):

    1. Detect mild poisons in food/drinks
    2. Can track a scent like a dog
    3. Finding mushrooms have never been this easy
    4. Can determine if someone's lying by their odor
    5. Nothing - nose changes color to pale blue
    6. Nothing - nose glows in the dark
    7. Nothing - nose grows another 5 cm
    8. Can smell an object and gain a bit of knowledge about it
    9. Smelling flowers reveals what type of creatures that has passed by in the last 24 hours
    10. Smelling a dead body for at least one hour to gain a memory/spell (in case of wizards)
    11. Smelling a bar stool reveals a secret about the village/town

    Cons: Anyone can pull (doesn't grant a roll on the table above). New nose length is permanent.
  3. Clenching fist
    Pros: By clenching his/her fist really hard, the person produces (hopefully) liquid equal to one cup. Can do this once every hour. Roll 2d6 on the table below to see what he/her produce:

    1. Clean water
    2. Red wine
    3. Fine sand
    4. Mud
    5. Oil
    6. Blood (lose life)
    7. Ectoplasm (50% risk a ghost materializes)
    8. Water that smells of sulfur
    9. Pure poison (save vs. poison)
    10. Really bad beer
    11. Fresh, cold milk

    Cons: Need to make a dexterity check after each clenching. Failing means the person passes out for 1d6 hours.
  4. Tired eyes
    Pros: By making eye contact with somebody, and then slowly blinking a couple of times, the blinker has a 5% chance to make the victim fall asleep.

    Cons: Save vs. constitution, or you fall asleep as well.
  5. Bedroom eyes
    Pros: Works exactly like Tired Eyes, but instead of falling asleep, the victim will reveal any information and secrets known to them (in exchange for promises of hugs and kisses and whatnot), during the next ten minutes. When the effect ends, the victim will have a grim headache.

    Cons: All victims turn into stalkers after a day (5% are violent, 50% are incurable romantics and will recite poetry and bring flowers, 50% cries and posts long letters "signed with tears").
  6. Edible beard
    Pros: The beard of this person is nutritious and satiating.

    Cons: It tastes awful, no matter the seasoning. Only half of the serving is digested; the other half works like a beacon for the Shadow Lurkers, gnarly creatures that grants this property to beards during the night time. The undigested beard works as stuffing, since the Shadow Lurkers believe humans needs a bit of seasoning before cooking.
    The Shadow Lurkers will try to drag away the stuffed person during the night. They can smell undigested beard in a ten mile area.

Aug 11, 2013

The Lair of Shub-Muggah

Mr Telecanter offered a challenge the other day: Make a one page dungeon that uses only images and visual devices. No words. No abbreviations.

My attempt at this is below. The biggest challenge for me was to keep the "visual dungeon dressing" (e.g. skulls and bones and stuff laying around) at a minimum, since I wanted to use clear symbols and icons (like ideograms) to give clues to the DM reading the map. One way to solve this I guess is to draw the DM symbols in a different colour.

And yes, drinking from the Muggah cures headaches and tired eyes.

Jul 29, 2013

HMS Duncan

(Click for bigger)

HMS Duncan is built on the exoskeleton of a World Tortoise. It's a submarine vessel, used by its current crew for collecting artifacts from the sea floor.

Through a hole in the front, the Duncan can "vacuum" objects from the outside and spit them out in area F. 

There are no windows.

There's a functional communicating system on board: hollow copper pipes are installed in every room. Speaking in one will echo your voice everywhere.

A. Bridge
A rather large armchair is located here, with its back against the wall (e.g. it is placed at the leftmost position on the map, facing the room). There are three, narrow slots at the end of each armrest, shaped after human fingers. The captain uses this for controlling the Duncan, although somewhat indirect (see area G).

B. Hatch (exit)
Enter/exit the Duncan through a hatch on the top of the shell.

C. Messdeck
A messy room, filled with chairs and tables.

D-E. Cabin
Crude, hard beds, two in each room.

F. Deckhouse
Also known as the debris room. There's a hatch in the floor, through which vacuumed objects from the outside can be collected.
It's pretty messy room.

G. Engine room
Here lives the entity merely known as the Lump, the one who actually runs the Duncan. Few have seen this creature, since it keeps the doors to this room locked at all time.
When the captain sits in the controlling chair (area A), she will communicate with the Lump, telling it where the crew want to go, but it's the Lump that has the final say.

Current crew
Captain Czarlotte de Bonne
Yellow, braided hair. Yellow eyes. Face scar. Uses a gnarly crutch, that's actually a concealed rapier.
Sloppy, messy, intelligent.

Chef Étienne Choron
Extremely tall, skinny. Clean-shaven (even eyebrows). Long, narrow fingers.
Formal, uncompromising. Hates onion soup, so when he's sulking, that's what he'll make.
Has a familiar in the form of a blue, translucent ghost frog. It follows him around.

The Lump
Lives in the engine room. Drives/operates the Duncan.
Otherwordly (?), tentacles (?), spotted (?), etheral (?), lives on the magic leaking from the engines (?).

HMS Duncan is currently en route to the port of Bandar Karahc, the large desert harbor in the east.

Jun 29, 2013

Flail-tailed hoarfrost tortoise

Flail-tailed hoarfrost tortoise

Solitary living, blind, two heads.

Non-aggressive, herbivore (mouth is hidden).

Tail is split in two. Both ends have a pale blue, spiked ball.

If threaten, will try to hit its attacker with the spiked ball. It contains a mild poison that will gradually slow its attacker down each round until they can barely move. Effect lasts an hour, under which the tortoise will try to get away.

Highly intelligent, probably telepathic.

Size varies from that of small dogs to large cows. Lifespan: usually 700-1000 years.

Tastes like sour chicken.

May 9, 2013

Chewing Warlock

Chewing Warlock

Hungry wizards from the far away land of Amusebouche. They usually worship the drunken vampire god Aperire, known for her great thirst before dinner. 

May only cast spells while chewing on something edible. Young warlocks tend to favor sap the first couple of years, until they grow sick of the gooey taste. Pies, cherry tomatoes and roasted chicken legs are more common among the older, fatter warlocks.

Chewing warlocks may only use cookbooks for storing spells. They'll have to make do of any available space left on a recipe page.

There's a small risk that a recipe leaks into a spell while the warlock memorizes it. For example, some claim that the Wicked Witch War all started because of a misaimed Magic Missile and Shepherd's pie.

Apr 29, 2013

The Giant's Dollhouse

This is/was (hello Time Travelers!) my entry in the One Page Dungeon Contest 2013.

Click here to download the PDF.

If you want to tinker with it, I've uploaded the original SVG file along with the drawing I did to a folder on Google Drive. You can view the folder here.

I'd like to revisit Pöppelman, maybe write something about his family. Or expand the list of petrified people he's used in his dollhouse. But not tonight!

Apr 21, 2013

The Swords of Ålrick the Hairy Barbarian

During his lifetime, Ålrick the Hairy Barbarian had him made a lot of different swords, not only due to his high demands and many wars, but also boredom.

On his eighteenth birthday, Ålrick was given a choice of weapon to represent him on the battlefield - the swiftness of a sword, or the might of an axe. Ålrick couldn't decide, and demanded a combination of them both.

The Shillyshally. Ålrick's first swaxe

During the Wicked Witch Wars, Ålrick ordered a new kind of weapon that not only would spread fear among his enemies, but also show Ålrick's more compassionate side. A weapon that would allow him to go into gruesome battle with his beloved.

He called it the Handholder.

The Handholder

(Although after recovering from the Wicked Witches Love Won't Tear You Apart Curse, he denied ever having ordered such a strange sword.)

As Ålrick grew older, he ordered more and more strange swords. As an elderman of his tribe, he mostly sat on his throne and occupied his blacksmith with stranger and stranger requests.

One of these turned into the Umlaut, a tribute from himself to himself.

The Umlaut

Apr 20, 2013

What the one-eyed angler offered me

Apr 12, 2013

Flash fearsday: Ms. Bézier

Yes, yes, too many points on those curves, dear. We definitely need to straighten you out, but the knife will take care of that, Ms. Bézier.

Apr 7, 2013

Synopsis: A 3-D message for the kids

Old peaceful city in desert. 
Predicted their doom in their calender. Wanted to save something for the kids. Used arcane devices (cameras) to record a normal day in their life (in full 3-D). 

Devices uses blessed water to store information, kept in urns. One for audio, one for visual.

City and people perished. All that's left in the ruins are urns with water (tapes) and large hollow craniums (playback devices). But the water slowly evaporated, distorting the information, making them nightmare versions of what really happened.

Pouring the water into the skulls will play the scenes in full 3-D (as a hologram).
They last about 30 sec - 2 min, and will repeat forever if not poured back.

25 % risk the recordings will become aware of the present, breaking through time and space. Depending on how distorted the information is, the beings in the recordings may react hostile.

A tall pillar stands alone in the center of the ruins. Carved ideograms on its sides tells the story of the now gone inhabitants (keyed version at the bottom):

Apr 1, 2013

Hexenbrachen. Hex 0107

Hex 0107
Unsinkable cursed buckets. Lots of.

This area contains a lot of wooden buckets, floating but not drifting.

A curse of buoyancy keeps them floating, despite being filled with water and fish.

They served as helmets for the gnomes operating the now crashed airship (hex 2208). The creator of these unsinkable "helmets" had a theory that if enough airship passengers wore these helmets, the airship would defy gravity and keep itself floating (since an airborne vessel sinks much like a stone in water - slow, but steady).

It worked perfectly, until the gnomes got drunk one night and started throwing the buckets overboard (hex 0107). They crashed in hex 2208 eventually with the helmet maker as the sole survivor.

See the rest of the hexes over at The Hexenbrachen page here:

Mar 30, 2013

Tower road contains a lot of towers

A strange, winding road crammed with towers, each with their own ruler. This list contains but a few of them:

Courtesy Towers (aka Twin Bow Towers)
Two towers leaning next to each other. They are not connected. Some say it is the result of rheumatic stone, others mean it has to do with magnetism.

Why Tower
The two lovers who started building this tower got into a fight half-way. The shape of the tower reflects the iron will of them both, since no one wanted to move out.

The Grumpy Gargoyles
Connected through a narrow bridge at the top, shaped like the wing of a bat. There's a grotesque obsidian head on top of each tower, rumoured to contain 10000 bats.

Rook Tower
Fell out of the sky one foggy morning. Some say it fell of the table of two giants playing chess.

Winam Tower
Only entrance is at the top. Built of thick glass, and filled with a pale red liquid. Merpeople are said to currently occupy this building.

Star Tower
Two tiny towers (in comparison to most of the other buildings in the area), with star-shaped ornaments on the top. Home to the outerworldly molepeople.

Tall Tower (aka Upsisdon)
One of the tallest buildings in the area, but when you enter through the front door you'll notice there are no stairs leading up. The lobby contains only a trap door at its centre, revealing a darkness that smells of sulphur. Occasional screams have been recorded as well.

Mar 24, 2013

Feline plague doctor

  • Believes cats carries diseases
  • Wears a porcelain mask and priest robes
  • Wears red leather gloves
  • Wields a long staff with an iron, hollow head on one end, that contains catnip and belladonna. Touching cats with the staff is believed to neutralize the disease for half a day
  • Killing a cat is forbidden, as it will release the disease - it is better for it to be contained within the cat and neutralized
  • Prays twice a day by repeatedly saying gatto morbus conrigo, and purring
  • Never removes its mask, which is why most people suspect they're only part human

Feb 23, 2013

Golems of Talion

To create a golem of Talion, you'll need:

  1. An object of any material in the shape of a human
  2. Sprinkle it with holy water and honey, to make it ready
  3. Uninterrupted time where you treat it the same way as you wish it to operate. It will function for an equal amount of time.
  4. Feed it some type of supper you've cooked yourself to activate it. The dedication you've put into the meal will directly affect its functionality; feed it well, and it will do any bidding. Feed it a sandwich and it will probably punch you.

Feb 19, 2013

The Amalgamater

The Amalgamater

The Amalgamater is a magic-user without spells of her own. She may only learn spells by combining them on the fly in the heat of battle.

Starting at second level, the Amalgamater can on her turn combine the last two spells cast in an encounter. She can memorize an amount of spells equal to one less than her level.

When trying to a learn a combined spell, throw 2d6 (one for each of the last two spells cast).

  • If both die show the same number, the Amalgamatar may choose in which order to pronounce the spell names, and the conjunction between (from the table below) freely

  • Otherwise: look up the sum of the two dice in the table below to find the conjunction. The final combined spell name is the spell name of the lowest dice, the conjunction, and then the spell name of the other die.

Every time she amalgamates (combines), she has to memorize the new spell, meaning she must forget any currently in store.
After casting a memorized spell, it is gone forever.

Conjunction table:
2-3. While
4-6. In
7-9. Unless
10-12. Nor

Example 1:
The Amalgamater decides to learn a new spell. The last two spells cast in the encounter are Cure light wounds and Light.

She throws two dice, resulting in a 2 and a 5. Not the same number, so she looks up their sum in the conjunction table (seven = "Unless"), and starts with the lowest die to learn the new spell "Cure light wounds unless light".

The DM may interpret this in many different ways, but one may be that wounds may only be healed if the environment is properly lit (or even in bright sunlight). Another possibility is that to in order to heal a wound, the Amalgamater must burn it first.

Example 2:
This time, the last two spells were Magic missile and Sleep.

She throws the dice, and gets snake eyes (two ones). But, since they share the same number, the Amalgamater may choose freely from the conjunction table, and even the order of the spell names.

She decides on while, and starts with Sleep: "Sleep while magic missile" (because the other form would mean she would shoot bolts of magic every time it was time to rest). Now she just fires away a missile, and then falls asleep.

Feb 18, 2013

Arabian Nights Spell List

The illustration list from The Arabian nights' entertainments makes for a good spell list. Maybe a bit harder to interpret, but hey, science put imagination in your brain for a reason!

Jan 27, 2013

Honest Willard

Honest Willard

What: Small, single story house next to any lonely road. Four rooms of equal size: shop, bedroom, backroom (locked), kitchen.

People: Only Walter Willard, a man with a mustache. Sells curiosities from his shop, dead cheap. Everything's magical. Can't say where he got them from, though.

What's the deal with this guy: Everything he sells is magical - and cursed. There's a spinning, purple vortex in the backroom, connected to a similar shop on another plane, where a tall moon man runs a garbage disposal facility that specializes in cursed items.

What about the vortex: It's possible to enter the vortex, but years of disposing cursed items has tainted the flow, and will permanently curse anyone foolish enough to stick their thick head in there.

What about unhappy customers: Although many have wanted to chop his little head off, Willard is stuck with a Pacifist curse, making it impossible to even start hurting him. He got this many years ago when he stuck his thick head in the vortex.

Jan 15, 2013

Dwarf oil

A very long time ago, the greedy dwarfs lived inside their mountains, digging deeper and deeper for riches.

Some say dwarfs were once giants living above ground, tall and skinny as pine trees, but as they dug closer to the centre of the earth, gravity reshaped their bodies along the way. When the pressure became too high, their bodies finally gave in and the dwarfs popped like bubbles. All that remained was their black blood, filled with powerful greed, and it filled every hole and crevice deep down in the mountainside.

But this was a long time ago. Nowadays, the crazed orks drill everywhere for this black gold, hoping to pump some fuel for their strange machines and devices of war and destruction. Some say it's even good for your skin.

Jan 6, 2013

The Compleat Spell Book of The Great Escape

Increases the prominent attribute of the target (Strength for the strong, Intelligence for the smart, etc.).
Unfortunately, will also decrease another attribute which isn't viewed as characteristic of the target (Intelligence for the strong, etc.).

Grants the target a bonus when fighting in the country side, although he still got a fog in his chest so he needs a lot of rest.

Target finds everything pleasant and nice, when in fact s/he (along the rest of the adventuring party) has been teleported to the bizarre, vertical 31-story Labyrinth of the Misaligned Trellick, an old knocked over tower.

Target is immune to all types of charms, and radiates an aura that makes everyone in the direct vicinity immune as well.

A curse that will haunt the target for some time. He or she will constantly meet people from the same background, and while enjoyable, will eventually wither away unless the curse is broken.

Conjures an annoying golem in fashionable clothes. Given a rug, the golem takes flight.

Target dissolves and becomes part of everything in the current room for a few minutes, allowing him or her to for example eavesdrop without the need to hide.
Beware: doing this outside will make the target insane, since s/he will be part of of every single part of the Universe.

Pros: Target is granted access to one larger organisation, with all its benefits and enemies
Cons: It's most likely a very boring organisation.

Target will have nightmares the following two nights. Both involves travelling with unknown, strange vessels of which the second can travel through the air.
Worst part is: no one will want to travel along.

Makes target more vulnerable to charm spells, through empty promises about easy money.
Somatic component: caster repeatable draws the target's lucky number in the air.

Target will repeat everything he or she did yesterday, like if it was that day again. Will do this without any complaints or afterthoughts.

Target can no longer see people below his own presumed social class.

Like mirror image, but the clone is sillier.

Curses the target to long for something else, several days away. All actions are at a penalty, unless some sort of alcohol is consumed, which takes away some of the blues.

Summons two small spirits that will obey the caster for six minutes. When the seventh minute comes, they will cease with whatever they are doing, kiss each other and then disappear.

Jan 2, 2013

7 devils

A spell of summoning tiny devils from below (or above, if you're already down there).

Roll 7d6, one for each devil.

Die results:
1. Either this die failed a summoning (nothing happens), or you've summoned fourth their master as well (see more further down)
2-3. Wicked devil (red)
4. Chaotic devil (slowly changes skin hue in pulses, going through the colours of the rainbow)
5-6. Nice devil (purple)

  • Wicked and nice devils will begin wrestling immediately, trying to push each other through the ground.
  • Nice devils will perform one simple task before disappearing, as long as there are no wicked ones in sight
  • Wicked ones will only taunt and bother anyone in their vicinity
  • All devils will disappear after a few minutes

Chaotic devils are further divided into:
  1. Greedy: flies around, trying to eat anything shiny until they're too heavy to lift from the ground.
  2. Sleepy: flies up in the air, yawns, and falls to the ground sleeping. Wakes up, and repeats the procedure.
  3. Paranoid: hides behind each other. Hates to be seen.
  4. Crazy about clothing: wants to wear any piece of garment it lays its eyes on, even if it's already being worn
  5. Imitating: repeats what others are saying, even if it doesn't understand the language. May also occasionally mimic gestures.
  6. Identity crisis: believes it's a...
    1. Cat
    2. Bird
    3. Furniture
    4. Sunbeam
    5. Someone's shadow
    6. Close relative to one of the players

Alternative for when a summoning die shows a one:
Instead of indicating a failed summoning, you've actually brought fourth a big, horned devil. It will take control of the other small devils, and attack immediately.