Oct 28, 2012

Cursed by a rutabaga

Every farmer knows about bad soil. It happens to everyone and when it does, you have two options:
  1. Burn the crop and starve through the winter
  2. Harvest, keep quiet and sell it to them don't-know-better-townsfolk
Bad soil produces living crops, and one of the better known are cursed rutabagas. Their tiny eye and small mouth are near impossible to spot (unless tickled), and since they don't taste all too different, not many will ever notice.

Some of the side effects of eating a meal containing living rutabagas are:

  • Invisible private sphere: an invisible field surrounds the person, stretching about one meter around. Disrupting this field by walking through it or just coming to close, will cause the cursed person to (1d6):
    1. Panic in silence, being unable to concentrate
    2. Start sweating, being unable to hold on to anything
    3. Look the other way
    4. Clear their throat until they go sore and can't speak
    5. Wait 30 seconds, and then take one step to the side
    6. Start fiddling with their spell book or weapon, until they accidentally hurt themselves (by firing off a random spell or just cut their fingers)

  • Every spell casting is concluded with a few words about the weather. And it's never quite the correct temperature.

  • At the end of a fight, the cursed person says "We must do this again soon."

  • Happily pays taxes and tithes when arriving in new towns.

  • Avoids conflicts at all cost. If forced, consult table above.

Oct 21, 2012


The disturbing Man-Hydra of the eastern woodlands is the kindest creature you'll ever know. It has thirty-six heads and each one loves to listen to gossip (except the thirty-fifth, because of a hearing problem). They're all vegetarians.

All Man-Hydras lose their heads during fall, to prepare the body for the cold winter (they grow new ones during spring). The heads will fall to the ground, and while most of them doesn't survive the drop, the ones that do are sometimes found by travellers and taken care of.

The head of a Man-Hydra is somewhat larger than a normal human head. To survive, it must be fed on a daily basis.

Neglecting the head or treating it badly is considered very evil by the ones aware of these creatures. Anyone causing a head to die will automatically have a price on their head, and will be hunted.

I carried a watermelon
If taken cared of properly and treated with respect, the head of a Man-Hydra have a wide range of properties that not only lonely people appreciate (besides being good listeners). Some of them are listed below:

  • Whispering a few words in the left ear. Later, when the right earlobe is pulled, the words will be repeated so loud there's a chance it will knock anyone in front of the head off their feet.
  • Kissing it on the mouth will make the head blush. There's a 33 % risk the embarrassment will manifest as scorching heat rays shooting out of its eyes.
  • Rubbing its cheeks will most often make it burp. The burp is harmless unless the head's been fed meat. In that case, the odour coming out of its mouth is toxic. (Feeding it meat is evil, and it will not forget this.)
  • If both eyes are covered, the head will start to whistle. The melody charms anyone within hearing range as long as it keeps whistling.
  • Massage, nose scratching, and hugs are vital for keeping the head happy. An unhappy head will most likely lose all its magical properties.
  • Covering both its ears will make the head glow. This is because Man-Hydras love to listen, and the glow is a sign of sadness (it tries to attract attention, so someone will come and talk to it). This is considered mean.
  • Bringing together several heads will make them smile at the sight of each other, and they will radiate an aura that may slightly heal anyone mortally wounded. Beware though, that they will become sad for a full day when separated again.

Oct 7, 2012

String demons

Witches, hags and other foul mouthed creatures such as school children, have the inborn ability to summon string demons by chewing on strings and then spitting them out on a hot stove.

The string demon manifests itself by taking control of the wet string, and forms a shape that most resembles the demons true form.

They will obey their master (chewer) for a brief period of time, before drying up and finally falling to the ground lifeless.

Once chewed, a string is useless for further summonings.

Oct 3, 2012

Carved rods (expanded from the notebook)

Words carved onto these may have a magical meaning. All effects stack, and are permanent.

  • Lover's name: raises spirit but lowers wisdom
  • Own name: negates all positive effects
  • Nemesis' name: unable to kill any of his/her relatives
  • Mother's name: easily irritated. 25 % risk of picking a fight with anyone
  • Own deity's name: watched. Will be struck down at first sign of breaking any commandment
  • Other deity's name: each night is filled with erotic dreams about the god
  • Reversal of any of the items on this list: same effect, only inverted
  • Any spell name: rod is loaded with a random, non-lethal spell (i.e. not the spell carved). If there's already a spell loaded, it will mix with the new
  • Name of birthplace: wielder is teleported three metres in random direction each time he/she is hurt
  • Names of animals: worships a new item at random each day
  • Words without meaning: rod becomes edible & nutritious for ten seconds, and will feel like a loaf of bread
  • Single letter: rod bends in the shape of the letter, with the risk of grappling the wielder
  • The word "WORD": the rod grows to twice its current size every time the wielder speaks
  • A typical dwarven name: rod turns into obsidian but loses its magical potency
  • A typical elven name: an ear grows out like a leaf. Whispering spells in it is one way to load the rod with power
  • Symbols that aren't letters: the rod takes flight like a rocket and disappears into the sky. It will explode loudly a minute later.
  • Name of a song: the wielder can hear the tune playing repeatedly inside his/her head the next 24 hours. If the rod is used like a lummi stick during this time, a random spell is loaded into the rod of same level as the number of minutes the wielder kept drumming (unless he/she plays out of tune; then the rod starts burning)
  • The word "ROD": random words are carved by an unknown force, each one causing an effect as usual (pick up the nearest dictionary and look up ten words randomly, and consult this list for each one)