May 14, 2023

Anagramming Monster Manual - Part D (part 2 of 2)

A M-U scars aura

A type of flumph. These translucent jellyfish may, if pulled over the head like a hood, mask one's true appearance by giving off a more intimidating appearance. Unfortunately for some, it only works for magic users, since the jellyfish feeds off the magical nature of its, ehm, wearer, although this hasn't stopped regular folks from pulling all sorts of things over their head, jellyfish or not.

Raucous stare

Any tree with flush cuts may develop this immobile monster; the cut turns into a parasitic eye, that catches passers-by and snare them with its mesmerising rings, luring them to slowly approach the parasite. When the prey is close enough, the rings in the eye starts spinning faster and faster, forming a portal that sucks in the victim, sending them to an unknown location in deepest space, where a yet to be discovered entity gobbles them up.

Sometimes, the portal even spits something out.

Carouse suit

The clothes (including armour) of a person who dies while carousing are cursed the next day; wearing any of these apparels causes nearby doors to be slammed shut (or opened violently), windows to be scratched and small objects such as fruit, cutlery or rats to levitate for a short period of time. The wearer may also suffer the occasional tripping. The reason for all this is that the heavy carousing attracted drunkard poltergeists, who sticks to the clothing during their hangover.

In thy disc

This monster will only attack vertebrates, and only striking against their back, trying to reach the spinal cord. Upon touching it, the monster is immediately transferred back to its home world, since the spinal cord of any creature acts as a portal key for these kind of monsters; they only want to get back home. The problem is, when one is teleported back home, another one is sent back, taking its place.

So old cupid

This creature, looking like a porcupine walking upright, shoots quills when it sneezes. The quills contains a strong toxin, that causes hallucinations of a more bizarre form: joy, and the eager feeling to seek out old loves.

Usual more ass

This creature used to be fuller.

A grog sour us

Found in taverns, these not-actually-monsters will eavesdrop on adventurers and interrupt them with comments as loudly as possible.

If the adventurers are about to embark on a journey, the Grog Sour Us will lower morale by telling the "younglings" about how badly prepared they are ("WADDYA MEAN 'NO TEN-FOOT POLE'?!").

If the adventurers are celebrating coming back from an adventure, the Grog Sour Us will lower morale by telling them about all the "easily brought back" treasures they neglected and where to find them ("WADDYA MEAN YOU DIDN'T SCRAPE OFF THE GOLD FROM THE PAINTING?!").

(Although annoying, adventurers should listen carefully when the Grog Sour Us tells them about neglected treasures, since that information is always true.)

Guano and I

This monster always hits you when you least expect it - from above.

Use our balsam

This stationary, treelike monster gives off a sweet scent, that mesmerizes passers-by and tricks them into coating their skin with a sap found on the bark. The sap is highly acidic and actually part of the monster's digestive system; after a few minutes, the prey is no more than a puddle of goo, which the monster happily slurps up using one of its branches.

Gaseous mural

Some murals come to life during new moons, especially those painted by lactose intolerant artists.

Uncoil moons

This evil spirit, known simply as a Braid in other parts of the world, needs at least three full moons on a cloudless sky to form. Each full moon, it takes the bright light of the full moon - e.g. the round shape itself - and uncoils it on the ground below, as one thick, long, glowing tube. If it can do this at least three times in a row, it will then braid the tubes together, which will be the evil spirits material form for the night.

The more strands ("tubes") in the final braid, the more powerful the spirit becomes.

Sumos auras

Also called stick-men, these extremely thin humanoid creatures lures their prey (humans) by mocking them in their tongue, in an attempt to pull them closer. When the prey is close enough, the creature will release its gaseous soul - a thick and heavy fog - in a violent eruption, that weighs down and suffocates their prey. The soul (fog) then returns to its stick-man like vessel, to devour their prey.

Calicoes puns

A fabric mimic, depicting crude paintings of people doing silly things. If a viewer laughs at the scene, the mimic shoots out a dart into the open mouth of the laugher, and pulls out a piece of the person's soul; one part serves as food for the mimic, and one part becomes part of the (potentially new) painting.

Pancreas to pet

This small parasite is often found in meat from magically created creatures. If ingested, it will try to get to the pancreas via the pancreatic duct, where it will remain for its lifetime. The parasite messes with the enzymes the pancreas produce; the host has now become a pet producer in a not so obvious and magical way: the host's stool grows new magical pets as soon as it, ehm, enters the world. It takes roughly a day or two for the "pet" to fully form, after which it will pursue and obey the person for as long as it lives.

(The term "pet" is misleading since there have been sightings of not only cats and dogs, but also goats and lions.)

A pout laser us

For a long time, there was a rumour going around about the fish in a certain lake, that could hunt with their eyes, shooting rays at passers-by during the night. It turned out to be not only false, but rather the weird pastime of one sorcerer that only knew the spell Continual Light; he would cast this at the fishes' eyes, for practice.

Unknown to most - and most of all, the poor sorcerer - is that while the fish can't shoot lasers with their eyes, they Continual Light treatment have somehow messed with the brains of the fish, resulting in new generations having greater and greater psionic abilities.

Sir Soul Pause

An extremely old knight that wanders the countryside. His soul was put on hold by a witch some two hundred years ago, meaning it stayed in place like a statue, while the body of the knight kept walking on. It took seventy five years to realise what the witch had done, and now he searches for her all over the world. He feels a bit empty inside.

Ant pored on

These ants aren't actually ants, but rather the very letters from old tomes brought to life through magic mishaps. They like to live in old books, trying to talk to the letters on the pages.

Gaseous rust

The flatulence of rust monsters. Just as with normal flatulence, it is best to stay clear of it.

Array scouts us

The "array" is a network of robed, small wizards - more animal than human - that once per hour stops what they are doing, and start vibrating for a short while. All members of this network do this exactly at the same time, no matter where they are. The vibrations serve two purposes: the first is for communication, and the second is for pinpointing people; they are nosy creatures. Some have used this to their advantage to gather information about people's whereabouts, since the creatures seems to be able to communicate both ways.

Aorta sutures

This evil spirit tries to enter the very veins of its prey (through open wounds), to stitch it up from the inside.

Creator pits

The pits - large, round holes in the ground, about two metres deep - are monsters that trap bards first and foremost, using illusionary spells. They lure the bards close enough so that they trip and fall into the pit, where the monster force the captured bards to come up with new sorts of horrific ways to lure new prey into the pit (e.g. turning their ideas into illusionary spells to use as bait). When a bard is too weak to produce, the monster opens its large mouth - e.g. the bottom of the pit - and swallows them whole.

Creator pits have been known to "leak" magic, e.g. some things the bards come up with, runs wild and materializes into a real thing.

Neuron rays surtax

This tax collector is a real monster when it comes to poor psionics.

Catbirds asleep

A terrible hairy creature from beyond space and time, capable of both flight and stealthy attacks, and would have no problem taking over the world - if they didn't nap 24 hours a day. It is a mystery how they exist at all.


Fights with illuminated swords and speaks with a tight jaw.


This humanoid is a real monster when it comes to constantly taking the credit for everything.

Pin hold

A spiderlike creature, the size of a cat, that hunts prey it find pretty; given the chance it will paralyse the prey, spin its web around it and then carry it back to its lair, where it will decorate the web using flowers. The pin hold-spider keeps several of these "pins" around its lair, but only for decoration since its main source of food is nectar.

El Drop Nap Egg

This flightless bird lay eggs that contains a mild toxin, that puts a normal adult to sleep for an hour or so.

Darn backlog

This horrible creature have a million different ideas on how to kill you - if it only could get its priorities straight.

Sand rag bros

These two humanoid creatures look like they've just endured several years living in a never ending desert storm - which they did, only it was ten thousand years ago. They sell magical trinkets no one understands. Their faces are covered, but rumour has it there's really nothing to cover.

Bronzed groan

These fragile statuettes are the captured voices of a very old kind of reptile, that went extinct when the emperor Jättedummis decided to not only wipe them out, but also store their horrible death wailing inside hollow bronze statuettes. The last groan of these reptiles have matured over the centuries inside these bronze vessels, concentrating their voices, so that they will kill anyone who hears it.

Mooch carat grind

A cave-dwelling creature, blind and bored, that constantly scrapes the walls with its twelve, wide nails - wide as a dough cutter - hoping to find some metals to munch on. But it won't break a sweat finding any.

Can God prep, or...?

This monster feels rushed and not very thought through, like, you know, as if a wizard spent like two minutes on it but maybe should've started earlier that night, like, he had a full two weeks notice but nooooo "I can make it up on the fly" I mean Jeeesus.

Nagger drone

This monster, the size of a small bird, imprints on a specific human being the very moment it is born (without the need to see them), and will spend its life doing two things: first, follow that human around at all cost, and secondly, keep reminding them about all the things they haven't succeeded at, and never will, as loud as possible.

Panda girl mount

What it says on the tin, but as soon as you get off she will try to make a snack out of you.

Darner dog

This fluffy, flying beast has an acidic drool but great cuddles.

Vinegar lords

These humanoid creatures uses their tears as a form of poison, to spread ill intentions. They usually cry into someone's drink, causing the drinker to become sour and questioning other's motives. All their fingers except their thumbs are small glass vials.

I, nth dowager

A type of hermit crab spirit that seeks out wealthy widows, kills them and then moves into the body and use that as a vessel. When the body has decayed too much, they leave and start looking for another widow.

No danger

This spirit falsely calms a person - or body part, depending on where it gets stuck - into thinking there's no danger (i.e. when monsters attack). Consult the following table to see how much control the possessed has, after the spirit has taken hold in a certain body part (the spirit has control from that part of the body and down, so to speak):

  1. Head: person has lost all control. In immediate danger, the person will take no action, other than trying to calm his or her companions ("Hey, listen, the gnolls just want to talk, right?")
  2. Arms: the person is herself and fully aware of the danger, but unable to get the rest of her body to function, since it believes there's no real danger
  3. Legs: as 2, with arms working as well, but she won't be able to move freely since her legs believes there's no real danger

Ground rattle

These small, centipede-like bugs burrows into loose soil (or sand, preferable). They burrow together, some hundred individuals, spread out like a 1x1x1 metre cube in the ground. When they feel something moving directly above, they start spinning and vibrating, shaking the ground, hoping to trap the victim in their cube, where they will make short work of its prey in a matter of minutes.

Yr dad

This doppelgänger always looks like someone's dad. "- Hey isn't that your dad? - Oh good God, hope he doesn't see... - HEY KIDS! DID MARISSA TELL YOU ABOUT HER RASH? DID YOU TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR RASH, MARISSA? SHE NAMED IT, DIDN'T YOU, MARISSA?"

This monster is completely harmless. It mostly just bonds with the dad it mimics, hangs out for a week or two, and then moves on.


A type of large earthworm that burrows around smaller villages, around and around, until a ditch has formed. It will then move outwards, and again, and again, until the immediate area around the village is several metres lower. The large earthworm then dies, and the soil and stones and whatnot it devoured forms a new hill.

May 4, 2023

Random tables: just switch titles

If you have a bunch of random tables (you know, "Why is this item cursed", "Why are these goblins here", "I search the body" and so on), but you want more, or you want to spice them up, or make them interested again - just randomly switch around the titles of the tables and go with that.