Dec 31, 2021

The Yearly Fend Off

At the end of each year, it is believed that the stars above comes exactly one step closer to our planet, bringing end and destruction to it all - if the prophecy speaks truth.

"Therefore," the wise men and women says, "it is of utmost importance that we direct all force to the dark skies at the same time, to push back and fend off the evil, when the new year comes into being!"

So, at the final night of the year, entire towns gather out on the fields, bringing their magic and devices of flight and destruction, for the yearly fend off.

And at the same time, as if synchronized by an time-knowing hand, the sky lights up in the rainbow's colours.

Scholars of magic lets off their entire arsenal of ranged magic into the sky; missiles and spheres, burning or not, everything that can travel on their own.

Bowmen aim into the darkness above, and let off arrow after arrow; some alit, some just sharp.

And some, who knows neither magic nor archery, picks up the stones at their feet or the dagger at their side, and bring all their being into one great toss.

Eventually, two things happens.

First, the stars - or rather, the terrible otherworldly beings that will bring end and destruction to all - are pushed back one step, since the prophecy is actually true.

Then, when every single arrow, dagger and stone has returned from its highest point, turned around and eliminated a combat worthy citizen, when all magic-users have depleted their arsenal, and when the last summoned beast has returned to its plane of existence - it's then the invading forces of the next-door king who doesn't believe in the prophecy comes and takes over.

Nov 25, 2021

Anagramming Monster Manual - Part B

A bob no 

A hairdo mimic.


Bad erg

A desert mimic that smokes and calls you names.


A rebuilt hi chum

A friendly golem made from scrap metal, gas powered.

A radar cub

A puppy that can detect blink dogs. GOOD BOY!

I ask libs

A curious monster that attacks with words and questions, mostly found around old tomes and books.


A shaved Ursidae.

Rave be

A nocturnal, energetic monster with a fluorescent tongue.

Let bee

A stirge you just have to put behind you.

Elder hob

Shaped like a three-sided wooden box, it sneaks up to houses at night and knocks off a brick or two, and runs off with them.

Pub dick gland

Found in taverns, it... Moving on.

Gild knob

A door handle mimic that gentle covers the inside of your hand with gold leaf. These people are highly sought after.

A bro

Either you love this monster, or you hate it. In any case, you most definitely know it.

Near limbo

These thin spectres, bent over in impossible ways, will try to take hold on you and drag you through the ground, to the antechamber of the infinite waiting halls.

I be worn

A clothing mimic, impossible to get rid of because of its cut, that manages to both hurt and look dashing!

Of a flub

A wizard made it, unknowingly.

Be a grub

Iron rations mimic.

Butt eel

Moving on.


Teenage monster, texting her bestie life advice about whatevs K THX BAI.

Nov 24, 2021

Stuff I've written on this blog that I had forgotten I had written but still like (VOLUME 2)

(VOLUME 1 here!)

More stuff I've written but forgotten about. Do you have a blog? When was the last time you went back to your first posts? I bet some are really bad, but I also bet some are very good!

I don't know if these are really bad or really good - but I like them. And I had forgotten all about them.

  • Instead of hit points: a glass egg - If you travel too far from the phylactery, your body starts to decay, accelerating the further you travel from it. But you won't die, as long as the egg is whole. [...] This is also how undead are made; regular people that travel too far from their glass egg [...] Remove enough flesh and soon you'll have yourself a zombie.

  • The Silent City - The Silent City is named so because it is illegal to speak. [...] The Grand Ocularium serves as what other cities would call a library, only here the books are replaced by several silent tellers; sages who can recite information using Silent Language.

  • Anagramming Players Handbook (all parts) - CATHODIC GOO. You support or are drawn to solutions/people that are really crappy but make things flow somehow. (from PART 4: ALIGNMENT)
  • A bunch of random, unrelated things - The antibard is a person who destroys music through aerial sorcery. He or she hates all things rhythmical, sung, or hummed. And dancing. Especially dancing.

  • Using the CSS basic box model for RPG stuff - I'm starting to get a feel for this NPC, thank you very much Mozilla Developer Network.



Swedish fika at the shores of your enemies

Nov 7, 2021

Burrow of the Ratman, or My Feeble Attempt At Doing A 1E Rat-Themed Adventure (part 1)

At the time of me writing this, there's a adventure design contest going on over at B/X BLACKRAZOR called "Out of the Sewer".

(By the time you're reading this, it's probably over!)

I'm not participating - I don't have the time or the skills - but I will make a shot at it here in this post, describing my thought process along the way, since the contest touches on some things I've been thinking about lately. And sometimes it's more interesting to read about choices than the end result.

So, JB (the author of the blog) had some rules for the contest:

  • Rat-themed
  • Written for a particular D&D system
  • Written for a particular level range
  • Include a mapped dungeon of no less than 12 keyed areas

As a side-note - and this may only be because of some filter bubble on my part - I feel like during the last 1-2 years or so, there's been more writing about 1E/AD&D, and/or stuff about the importance of weight of coins and what that entails, exploration, etc etc., with blog posts such as Classic Vs. Treasure.

(Ok, that was only one, and that post isn't awfully old, but anyway!)

For me, with no experience with AD&D at all (even though I own all the "core" books from DMG to that Wilderness-book), it just feels interesting to dig into this almost scientifically. I'll try to explain!

A warning

This post will be unfocused as hell. This is like you and me listening to my brain reasoning about stuff it doesn't know anything about.
I'll try and break it up with the occasional rat doodle here and there.

How to start, or How not to start

Well, I've entered the One Page Dungeon Contest a couple of times (even won once!), but those were system agnostic (or very much "just a map and an idea, hope you have a good DM"). I figure if I were to design a 1E adventure, I needed to do it more "system focused", which meant digging into the books.

So in my head, there's currently these things spinning around, gathered from various places:

  • Rats
  • Gold for XP
  • Coins have weight
  • Things in a dungeon are weighted in gold
  • Weight/gold ratio

I presume that each one of these items will give birth to additional stuff to consider - stuff that seasonal adventure designers do by heart without thinking - so like a rat I just started burrowing myself into the first one: rats.

Rats, or Everything Really

So I know that in a rat-themed adventure there needs to be some sort of connection to rats, obviously. But since I at this point didn't have any clear motif to my adventure, I just looked up "Rat" in the Monster Manual (pg. 81), because:

  • If I was going to do this systematically, I must assume that "monsters" are more than something to 1) encounter, and 2) hit, and I can't assume anything about a 1E rat

Even though I've never played a 1E game before, I've flipped through these books enough times to know that the stat block is packed with information - all of which must mean something. So I couldn't just throw in a bunch of rats in a dungeon doodle because:

  • How strong is one rat?
  • What can a rat in 1E do?
  • Or rather: what does a 1E DM expect of a 1E rat?

If you've done any programming, let me tell you that this adventure design project started to feel like recursive parsing; for every item discovered, two more were discovered and queued up for reading.

Anyway, reading the entry for "Rat, Giant (Sumatran)" gave me the following:

  • 1-4 HP (I guess 2 HP in average), 5-50 appearing
    •  This is were my lack of 1E knowledge starts to show: would this mean that if I put in 5 rats in my little dungeon, I should on one very basic level think of that as a 5*2=10 HP monster? Naturally, 5 rats will spread out etc. etc., but in terms of strength vis-à-vis a player? Meaning I should count backwards from this:
      • What kind of player can defeat a 10 HP monster without much trouble?
      • What about AC? Assume a tiny single rat with 1 HP but in plate mail with a shield? Or a enormous rat with 50 HP and basically no AC?
  • They keep close to graveyards, so that they may feed on newly buried bodies
    • ("Their burrows honeycomb many graveyards, ..." - I'm certainly not an expert on the English language, but that's how I interpret that archaic sentence at least)
  • Hates fire!
    • That I knew! Thank you, George Lucas
  • Likes to swim!
    • That I knew! Thank you, duck pond close to my home
  • Avoids attacking strong parties, unless commanded by creatures such as wererats or vampires

That last bullet item gave me some ideas; should the adventure revolve around vampires? Or wererats? And what about character levels, should I fire up Google Sheets and start doing graphs so that everything is calculated correctly, like doing taxes?

The math made my head hurt, but I actually had an adventure idea now. But before we go into that, another rat doodle:

Stop thinking about rats, or The first puzzle

Since I'm a bear with a very small brain, I needed to stop thinking about AC/HP and their friends (sounds like a AC/DC tribute band). So I took my trusty notepad and pen, sat down and started thinking: treasures and their placement are vital, so maybe start there? Design the adventure bottom-up? Start with a single atom and build layers around it?

Start with a single simple treasure.

Well, I started thinking about the weight/gold ratio; coins found in a dungeon are easy to carry but don't give much of experience, so turning that around should give the premise for my basic puzzle: small item, worth a lot, weighs a lot:

  • Small means it's easy to carry (not bulky)
  • Worth a lot means the players wants it (e.g. they will pursue it, even if it's hard to reach)
  • Weighs a lot means...well, this is just part of the puzzle, if used right

Maybe if I placed a tiny figurine, heavy as hell, worth a lot, on the other side of some bottomless body of water - it's easy for the players to get over the water, but harder to leave with the figurine since they may drop it on the way over.


Here's a initial sketch in Swedish I made (point 1 being the heavy figurine):

So maybe there once was a crude rope bridge across a deep shaft, and on the other side, a extremely valuable figurine on a pedestal. But then something flooded the halls, and the bridge collapsed.


Wrapping it up, or Ending a post just because it's late

I think I'll stop here for now. In part 2 I'll explain what point 2 in the sketch above means, and maybe list some keywords that popped up in this post ("collapsed bridge" etc.) and build something around them.

Until next time!

Nov 3, 2021

Sourdoughing: an addendum to part 1, part 2½, and square hexworld (completing the tower and moving for-/on-/outward)

(First part, second part, or the complete series.)

Addendum to last post

Yes, last time we built a wizard's tower - belonging to the strange Lard Lord - but I forgot the last step in the tower building - rolling for debt!

So here goes: 1 - Nothing to worry about, no debt here. The wizard found the tower and managed to overtake it by turning the previous owner (also a wizard) into a frog (put the frog at the top floor - it's alive and has allies looking for it)

Ok, exciting - a frog! Let's put it at the top floor, and update our list of things known about this wizard and tower (last two bullet items):

  • The wizard communicates with sirens
  • The wizard constructs golems using lard and tangled weed
  • The wizard is in custody of a small child of non-human origin
  • The wizard is neglecting a lot of simple house chores due to the child
  • The wizard is a lousy carpenter (see: entrance)
  • A nearby earthworm is selling phony potion recipes to the wizard, hoping to eradicate all birds from the area
  • The wizard is nicknamed "the Lard Lord" behind her back, although no one dares to call her that
  • The previous owner - another wizard - was turned into a frog and is currently at the top floor, unknowingly to the current owner


The previous owner; watching, waiting, catching flies

With that out of the way, let's move forward!

Part 2½: Radius of impact, or I Don't Know How To Write Part 3

I have no idea where we should go from here, but I'm guessing we should be developing the surrounding area around the tower, using the bullet point items above. But does that mean zooming out, placing the tower locally like in a hex, or should we just rip off some "fact" above and then connect the dots?

Hmm, what if you place these dots of interest in an area, and a dot of interest (the tower in this case) has something like a "radius of impact/influence". I'm not talking about "this is the Tower of McMeanie, and so everything in its radius of impact are MEAN", but more of a influential thing, like how it affects trade and people's views on other stuff. I like more the idea of for instance the people of a small village in the vicinity (radius) of an Evil Tower having to cope with that; "yes, that McMeanie is horrifying, but it could be worse, possibly; at least now I know what I got." Or stuff like superstition.

(And sometimes these Towers of McMeanies have a very small radius; they want to be left alone/occluded from the world. Or maybe no one really cares about that place anymore.)

So you could define these dots of interest, along with their radius of impact/influence, and just randomly plot them on a canvas/piece of cardboard/left side of a boar. You could then assign different properties (i.e. nouns/verbs) to these radii, like "superstitious", "xenophobia", "greed", "health", "oppressed", and so on (a radius of impact should probably hold multiple properties).

The intersection of multiple radii could lead to interesting splats of information on the world, that have shaped that particular place and people (if static). I guess the PCs themselves each carry a "spotlight", e.g. a radius of impact attributed with different properties - and that is something that ripples through these static radii of the world.

OK, enough of me just making things up, I think we need a silly image here that are somewhat related to my ramblings:

Should our newly constructed tower - the tower of the Lard Lord - have a radius of impact? Yes. Should we define it now? Maybe? How would one define such a radius?

Well, first of, the radius needs a value and a unit. Since the tower is fixed in place (OR IS IT???) we could just count the radius in meters, I guess. So how big should it be? Well, we could reiterate the bullet points above, and see if any of them gives us any indication of an increase in radius, and potentially what kind of property we should add to our circle (i.e. the Lard Lord communicates with sirens, so maybe people in the radius are always on the lookout towards to sky, or avoid the water ways, or dislikes ladies wearing fur, etc.).

I don't think I'll add a radius now, since our little sourdoughing world doesn't really consist of anything besides this.

Intermission: It Puts the Tower In the World, or I Can't Do Hexes In Google Sheets

I've been reading some good advice on hexcrawling lately, which is something I have no experience with, but the idea behind it speaks to me, so I think I'll just try to cram this into here as well.

With the little caveat that I can't do hexagons in Google. But it doesn't matter, since 1) I want to keep this simple, 2) I don't think it really matters actually.

So this is the known world of sourdoughing at the moment:

I made the "Lard Lord" into a link, that just opens the adjacent spreadsheet tab "Wizard's Tower - the Lard Lord" (which is the same sheet I've been posting previously). It just seems silly not to take advantage of those technical aids available here.

Alright, next time we'll move on to part 3, where we'll start fleshing out something else (hopefully! Or maybe I'll just do an infinity series of "Addendum to Part 2½" and we'll never leave this square hex).

Oct 3, 2021



The skellimaul/mauleton carry its weapon - a stone maul that looks more like a greatclub because of reasons - with great disinterest; the weapon is cursed, and the skellimaul/mauleton is (almost) forever bound to it.

Skellimauls/mauletons is a by-product of the weapon's curse; the carrier is slowly transformed into its more undead appearance as time goes by, and is controlled by the parasitic weapon.

As time goes by, the wielder of the weapon turns more and more into a skeleton, turning weaker and weaker, until one day, it is unable to handle or even lift the heavy weapon, making them both stationary. When that happens, the weapon lifts its curse; the skeleton finally drops the weapon, and is free to do whatever (running away seems to be the most likely event), and the cursed maul is left alone, waiting for a new owner.

Sep 23, 2021

A wordless adventure


  (Here's the last image flipped, in case you don't want to break your neck:)

Sep 14, 2021

Literal Swedish translations makes a tiny location table

  1. Perch swamp
  2. Heritage bud
  3. Children lake area
  4. Fire croft
  5. Fog home
  6. Mire bay
  7. Beauteous oath
  8. Father's croft
  9. Tranquillity home mountain
  10. Free hammering
  11. Wife reverse
  12. Bird bay
  13. Pelt swamp
  14. Pelt rapids
  15. Old string
  16. Goat mountain
  17. The stew
  18. Double cream island
  19. Green nock
  20. Shark croft
  21. Hand beer
  22. Ocean rock strait
  23. Weekend island
  24. Whole ridge
  25. Home lake
  26. Side stitch isthmus
  27. Heave island
  28. Hear village
  29. Gust end
  30. Mud live
  31. Ice branch
  32. Ice take village
  33. Hunter's know
  34. Wolverine swamp
  35. The man bed
  36. Wedge
  37. Nugget mountain
  38. Charcoal bay
  39. Cross hill
  40. Cow bay headland
  41. The king's bed
  42. Randy bad
  43. Crone island
  44. Source ridge mountain
  45. Flesh tag
  46. Stock rapids
  47. Famine
  48. Look for rapids
  49. Suffer croft
  50. Little forest
  51. Lime tree island deep
  52. Goal meadow
  53. Light water
  54. The calm
  55. Trickster headland
  56. Tall ones rode
  57. Tall stream
  58. Ransom
  59. Stomach goose
  60. Stomach smile home
  61. Thin
  62. Grind well bay
  63. Ant ridge
  64. Moon gravy
  65. Down village
  66. Northern stream construction village
  67. New maiden
  68. Sneeze eating
  69. Coin rapids
  70. Stick croft
  71. Pure current
  72. Travel island
  73. Pure iron
  74. Mother's wood
  75. The funnyness
  76. Field flow
  77. Rose eye
  78. Square bay
  79. Raw hill
  80. Shrimp isthmus
  81. Fox landing
  82. Red stream isthmus
  83. Smoke stream
  84. Red ridge flow
  85. Cairn tea
  86. Roared bay
  87. Hall town
  88. Make inlet
  89. One's croft
  90. Shout croft
  91. Tailor red village
  92. Blame mountain
  93. Battle isthmus
  94. The little wall
  95. Big pipes
  96. The large scythe
  97. Big harness village
  98. Tooth lake castle
  99. Crosswise rode
  100. Beer indweller


(Follow the Swedish tag for more nonsense!)

Aug 31, 2021

The Dove: ten years anniversary

Ten years ago, I mixed up characters for words, and that poem led to a collection of sci-fi poems, that told the story of a spaceship that lost its way, a religious figure of techno-faith making passengers drink rocket fuel, a really bad captain, metamorphosis - and something more, it's been a while since I read it!

And I drew some pictures, and compiled it all into a sci-fi "horror" (I'm easily scared) story - and that was ten years ago - and you can get it here if you want to (it's free).

Some pages:

(We even turned one of the pages into a song, called Lily, named after a spambot in the story.)

Aug 15, 2021

Mechanized Ex-Baron von Spindelknochen


The von Spindelknochen were a strange bunch. Their favourite type of punishment were beheading (so much that they built a special type of chop-off-and-then-roll-to-a-special-moat-outside-the-castle device to speed things up, known as the Head Chopper, and then they had that problem with the necromancer that kept reanimate the skulls for her army and...but that's another story).

Where was I? Oh the von Spindelknochen, yes, strange bunch. They became even stranger when they had a visitor from the future - another von Spindelknochen it turned out, only too late, as you will see - that told all about how to prolong one's life.

Because, the visitor said, you don't really want to live through these medieval times. These dark ages.

The what now, the von Spindelknochen said.

This, the visitor said. The dark ages. Cold castles, diseases, wars, primitive ways of living. The most advanced thing you'll ever encounter in your entire life is a spoon.

A what now, the von Spindelknochen replied, because the only kitchen utensils they used were knifes since you could chop things off with those, and chopping off things were something the von Spindelknochen really liked.

Exactly! the visitor exclaimed. Five hundred years from now, humanity will travel across the planet through the skies, cutting clouds in half in large metallic, birdlike machines. Don't you want to experience that? Fast forward another five hundred years and humanity is no longer living on this planet, but on Mars, Venus - even Jupiter! And where I'm from, we've even escaped death itself.

Off with his head, the von Spindelknochen ordered, and within the second the visitor's head painted a blood red elliptic path through the air - and landed perfectly on a metallic disc - much like a tray - with small legs all round, that the visitor had brought with him apparently without anyone noticing.

The small tray started running, but the von Spindelknochen soon caught up with it (it wasn't awfully fast).

Oh the irony, the visitor's head managed to say just before the von Spindelknochen tore it off the tray and threw it out the window (and it was actually reanimated a couple of years later by that same necromancer and...but that's another story).

The tray

The tray keeps any head placed on it alive and fully functioning. It's a mechanized, Keep Aliver™-tray (with the optional Spider Legs module attached).

It was ironically invented (in the future), manufactured (in the future and also in the past after the first von Spindelknochen miraculously managed to reverse engineer it) and overly overused by the von Spindelknochen, who made a tradition - at their death beds - to chop off their own head and keep it alive on one of these discs.

The disc doesn't stop ageing though, something the first generations of von Spindelknochen learned the hard way. Though still alive, they more look like a bunch of tree stumps nowadays.

Aug 7, 2021

Sourdoughing: part 2, a wizard's tower

(Read the first part here, or just follow the tag for all posts in this series)


So for this part of the series, I'll create something small, like a wizard's tower, to have something to build on later, e.g. after the tower is completed, we can create a milieu/environment around it in close proximity, and see where that leads us i.e. to place other things, and so on and so on.

Or something like that.

I'll use my Building a wizard's tower using 1d20 and maybe some other dice post for this.

(And apologies in advance for all the times I'll misspell the word entrance.)

Alright, let's get going!

Following instructions, or Doing What The Generator Tells Me To Do

"Get a pen and paper" - alright, I'm already not following the rules. I think I'll use Google Spreadsheets instead.

"Start at the bottom" - how can I do that if I don't know how many floors there'll be? I'll just do a reverse tower. Wait, will that make it a dungeon? Is this a dungeon generator in disguise? Or maybe there's some function to reverse all cells later...hmm...maybe this is why I'm told to do it on paper... Anyway, I'll just start at the top, and do it in reverse instead.

It's already growing on me

"Keep rolling on this table until you're happy" - WILL I EVER FIND HAPPINESS har har alright enough goofing around, let's roll on this table until we're happy.

First roll (thank you,, since the rest of the house is fast asleep): 16 -
Does the tower have at least one balcony?

Nope, can't say it does. It doesn't even have an altan as we say in Sweden.

Next roll: 6 - Find a die that matches the number of floors pretty good
Eh, ok, I'll do that. I got my 1d1 right here. Oh don't look at its flipside, or you'll lose your sanity.
Ok, now what? "Roll twice". Yes, I think I can manage that without, rolling... Oh, look at that, I got a one and a one. What does that mean? "[...] connect those two floors on the outside by means of: Wooden staircase, crude and unreliable"
Why did I have to roll twice? It's not like you have to install two staircases when you're building in the real world; one for going up, and one for going down. This entry needs an editor, I'll get one asap, but in the meantime I'll just connect the entrance with the entrance by means of a wooden staircase, crude and unreliable.

...I'll just use the best of my imagination for this:

Ok, next roll: 11 - Add a floor on top. LARDER.
And two d6 rolls after that:
  • 5 - Broken pottery, but no food. 1 in 6 have rune inscriptions all over them
  • 6 - Lard, kept in clay pottery 
All in all, another UNEXCITING floor. I mean seriously, I know it's called a larder, but for heaven's sake, store something else in there will you. Why would a WIZARD dedicate a complete FLOOR to storing LARD of all things or wait a minute.
Wait a sentence.
Of course it could be interesting. It wouldn't be interesting if a NORMAL human being would store that amount of lard, unless they were a lard lord or lard master or whatever title you'd have in a pseudo-medievil setting (I mean, imagine if this was a normal person's tower with just two floors; you got an entrence with a staircase going around the house on the OUTSIDE, and an attic full of LARD - that's not how you start a family is all I'm saying).
But now we're dealing with a WIZARD. Wizards are crazy, there's no denying of that. I mean, the entrance floor is sound proof of that ("So... there's no second floor?" - "No no, just wrap the staircase around the tower, will you please!")

So, based on that, my imagination tells me this:

Alright, next roll: 10 - Add a floor on top. BEDROOM
Yeah, sounds about right, you don't want to walk all those stairs when you're an old sorcerer.
Oh, another d6 sub table: 6 - Moss is covering the entire floor, although the furniture is still underneath somewhere. The wizard falls asleep where ever
Sounds like a parent with young children to me! Ooh, that gives me an idea:

Nice double line breaking there, breaking all consistent layout rules

Alright, on to the next roll, or should I stop and reflect here? Maybe I'll reflect instead.

I remember writing that post, that generator, thinking one would run through it a-blazing, thirty floors in one minute, e.g. if I hadn't at least twenty entires, it wouldn't be enough. More more more. But as I use my own generator myself, I notice even the slightest - what should I call it - "insinuation" (i.e. as with the moss thing above, that made me think about why wouldn't the wizard clean that up etc etc), may or may not stall the process (for the poor reader/user) by some amount of time.

Or maybe it's because I'm blogging at the same time.
Or maybe because I'm having my first real beer in several months, and my body is all confused, and my brain can't function.

Anyway... Enough reflecting. We'll see if the editor cuts that section or not.

Next roll: 11 - LARD- are you kidding me? No, just no. I need to write an addendum to that blog post. I mean, yes, some floors could benefit from repeating, but a larder? Alright, I'll add it. I mean, one point of this series is to point out how stupid one's generators could be: 5 and 3 - Broken pottery, dry ingredients. Some of fey origin.

Alright, so maybe the wizard doesn't consider the first larder-floor to be a larder at all, but merely a "ear plug resource/golem ingredient" floor, and this floor is just a pantry? Yeah I'll just rename it to pantry:

 I have to say, imagine being a sorcerer yourself, or just a plain pig farmer, and you have been invited to a "wizard's tower" - and this is what you see? A messy bedroom and food stuff? This is why common men become fighters, or clerics; they see this tower and go "screw that".

Ok, next roll: 14 - Find a die that matches the number of floors pretty good, and roll.
Ouch, I mean, yeah it's pretty boring tower so far, so some random change could do us good, but on the other hand... I got a pretty good view of this wizard right now; it's like the reverse of the common "Oh I'm living a common normal life, but I want to become powerful and taste the dark arts yada yada", like "Oh I'm a powerful sorcerer and imps are running around my legs, let's start taking things down a notch one at a time").
Ok, I found a die, let's see what floor we'll manipulate: 2 - LARDER. Oh goody.
Another roll (d6) to see how we'll mess it up: 6 - There’s a lot of barrels here, where plants and edible things are growing. A tiny cloud is circeling the ceiling, keeping everything wet and fresh
Hmmm.... I don't know, oh wait, I do know. I mean, if the lard in the pottery is for golem construction, why wouldn't the things growing in the barrels also be for that? I mean, maybe it's golem hair or something... Or brains? I mean, some kind of tangled weed may be used for a golem brain? Ok, that's good enough for me:

Alright, on to next floor: 4 - Add a floor on top. STUDY.
Yeah, every wizard needs a study. What's the major theme? 2 - Books about famous paintings, and what hidden magic they contain
I get it, every first time parent are looking for that "hidden magic" about how to raise their child "correct", and this wizard obviously has something extraordinary on her hands, so a full study dedicated to dealing with that little monster makes perfect sense:

Now I'm thinking; has this little child anything to do with the golem construction thing going on in the second floor? Hmm...

Anyway, next roll: 16 - Does the tower have at least one balcony?
Nope. I should probably have given that entry the possibility to deal with "if no balcony, do this instead".

Ok, another roll: 4 - STUDY.
...yeah ok, wizard likes their books, I get it, I'll play along. What major theme this time? 4 - Books about common potions that somehow all requires birds as an ingredient (multiple beaks can be found in here as well)
So, "common potions", I reckon these are potions that all wizards know how to brew, but these require birds as an additional ingredient. Does this mean someone set our poor wizard up? Sold her bad recipes? Who would benefit from this? "Oh, a potion of heal sprained toe is just moss and fly agaric - but I'll toss in a house sparrow just for the fun of it!"
No wait, it makes perfect sense. Either our little monster/non-human child has something to do with it (i.e. scribbling all over the potion book), or someone who hates birds and want them eradicated from the area has sold these recipes to wizard.
Hmm, I kinda like that latter explaination. Birds eats worms, ergo worms hates birds, so an earthworm in disguise has sold these phony recipes to the wizard!

Nobel prize here I come


Will this tower do? Am I happy now, as the generator clearly asked of me to be in order to stop? I don't know, how much detail would you possibly need from a wizard's tower? I mean, I have a pretty good sense of this wizard now, even though there's only six floors:
  • The wizard communicates with sirens
  • The wizard constructs golems using lard and tangled weed
  • The wizard is in custody of a small child of non-human origin
  • The wizard is neglecting a lot of simple house chores due to the child
  • The wizard is a lousy carpenter (see: entrance)
  • A nearby earthworm is selling phony potion recipes to the wizard, hoping to eradicate all birds from the area

I mean, I'd love to explore the idea of that earthworm, or that child-like creature - but do I have the generator for that?

Only next post can tell!

Jul 31, 2021

Sourdoughing: part 0 and 1, introduction and the jars


Something stuck in me after reading Bryce's latest review, that doesn't have anything to do with the reviewed adventure. No it was more along the lines of: instead of providing a bunch of tables, why not use them to provide something concrete instead (I'm paraphrasing and misremembering and all that, you should just read the review).

So I started to think about all the generators and tables and stuff I've written over the years, both here and on the old blog, and wondered if I couldn't try and create something with them.

I'm thinking it's like sourdoughs; you could fill up the entire fridge with them, jar after jar, but if you never use bits of them to bake something, they just sit there, idle.

(There are probably millions of better analogies than this, but you get the picture, and I'm currently making a sourdough bread, so...)

The plan

  1. Compile a list of generators/tables/etc that I've written that I may use (e.g. this post), from this blog and the old
  2. Start small and create something using one of these generators (I have this one in mind)
  3. Place whatever I create in step 2 "somewhere", and see what thematic things I got going from that, and find a generator/table for that for the surroundings
  4. Like 3, but keep expanding outwards
  5. Like 4 - no actually, exactly like 4

The goal

To have generated something "finished" entirely out of the generators/tables I've written previously. By finished I mean maybe an adventure, or a small hexmap, or a PDF/website, or I don't know - anything that doesn't contain "...and roll 1d4 for this".


The jars (resources)

So these are the resources I have at hand:


You know what, screw that. It's much easier to search for a table/generator when I need it, instead of catalogue it here beforehand.

Alright, I guess for next post I'll create a wizard's tower. Stay tuned.

Jul 15, 2021

Face monster(s)

  • Hunt in packs, but not necessarily 2 eyes + 1 mouth
  • Can temporarily form a head to gain some thinking capabilities
  • The result of embarressed giants, who have lost their face in battle

May 11, 2021

My daughter's dungeon

My six year old daughter drew this dungeon a week or so ago, after watching me doing something similar. I think it's a killer dungeon, and I think it shows that she's a great fan of monsters (e.g. she always runs the monsters when we play Castle Ravenloft, and had this to say when she saw an image of Jabba the Hutt: "He looks kind.") And she's apparently a big fan of - plumbing!

Annotated version below the map, with her own descriptions.

May 2, 2021

Sejten, a dungeon map, with some hooks

Have a vanilla dungeon map I did over the last two days, including the two smaller mountain range pictures showing the area around the lair/dungeon/slightly evil place.

(And my six year old daughter named it. No I don't think she knows who Satan is.)

Adventure hooks, or maybe rather just things I make up as I watch the image above that you may find useful to get your creativity going
  1. The bear skin rugs becomes animated for 2d6 minutes whenever someone mentions anything related to either food or weapons
  2. The rats are highly intelligent and will sell for huge amount of coins. They understand human speech but can only squeak
  3. Each painting holds a piece of a larger map on the backside, marking the birthplace of whoever built this place
  4. While sitting on any chair, time passes twice as fast
  5. Each rug acts as a time portal if the right word is spoken while standing on it (each rug has it its own word); anyone standing on the rug will travel in time but not in space for 1d6 minutes, and then return to the present:
    1. (the past) When the lair was being constructed
    2. (the past) One minute ago
    3. (the past) When the lair was controlled by a very jolly queen who loved all and everyone
    4. (the past) When the lair was controlled by a very gloomy necromancer who hated everyone, but rats most of all
    5. (the past) The very moment when the To-Be-High-Lord-Snake-King and its troops invaded the lair (then controlled by a never-to-be-seen-again tribe of very friendly, human-sized rats)
    6. (the very far future) Faulty, malfunctioning robots patrolling the halls, trying to shoot laser beams at any intruder (but not succeeding because a future dungeon party nicked all guns just days prior to our time travellers, replacing the guns with regular LED pen lights)
  6. The egg is not an egg

Apr 28, 2021

Building something using words, chaotic cursor movement and maybe some dice

I don't know what this is, but there are two ways of doing it: the LINEAR, and the CHAOTIC.


  1. Roll a die and consult table INTRODUCING. This is what you're "introducing", or adding (an object, a scene, whatever). When adding a new sentence, you must connect it to what was described in the previous sentence, so that the two sentences flow naturally into each other (or chaotically, if you prefer that)

  2. Repeat 1


  1. Roll a die and consult table CURSORY MOVEMENT. This tells you where to place your cursor (or pen, if you're doing this by hand and therefore must have incredible penmanship). Never place the cursor (or pen) in the middle of a sentence; a sentence is always isolated and untouched and locked down etc so to speak

  2. Roll a die and consult table INTRODUCING. This is what you're "introducing", or adding (an object, a scene, whatever) exactly where your cursor (or pen) is. When adding a new sentence, you must connect it to what was described in the previous sentence, so that the two sentences flow naturally into each other (or chaotically, if you prefer that; people who use pen and paper for this method would probably do it chaotically)

  3. Repeat from 1


Place cursor (or pen)...

  1. After the first sentence
  2. In the middle of the document
  3. After the last sentence
  4. After the second sentence
  5. Where your finger lands with your eyes closed
  6. In the middle of the middle of the document, so like in the first quarter I guess



At the cursor (or pen), introduce by describing, using one or several sentences...

  1. A stuffed bear
  2. Stairs up
  3. Stairs down
  4. A door with writings on it
  5. Used pots and pans
  6. Shrubbery
  7. Unusual tiling
  8. A horse that's about to leave
  9. A rug, halfway rolled up
  10. A horrible landscape painting
  11. A wall
  12. A hallway, crudely lit
  13. An open knapsack
  14. An unusually small dog
  15. A locked chest
  16. Spiderwebs in the ceiling
  17. A festive hall
  18. A concealed weapon
  19. Dirt and soil
  20. Fire
  21. A bottled message
  22. A painting of a king
  23. Several chests
  24. Rats
  25. A fireplace
  26. A room with a large table
  27. Stairs up and down
  28. A person in a wet hat
  29. Water breaching in
  30. Several guards looking for something
  31. A marketplace for illegal food
  32. A pond and a toad
  33. A blind ogre
  34. A marble statue
  35. A flowerbed
  36. Someone lost
  37. An intruder
  38. A broken mirror
  39. Lots of barrels
  40. A deserter from a distant war
  41. Rope hanging down from far above
  42. Mechanical device that hums
  43. Mechanical device that clicks
  44. A sundial
  45. A window
  46. A floating creature with scales
  47. Blood
  48. A magical swirl
  49. A makeshift instrument
  50. Foreign coins
  51. Claw markings
  52. A rainfall
  53. A well, with rope hanging down
  54. A terrible yell
  55. A dog digging
  56. A scholar writing in a tome, a large list of ingredients, currently at item 56
  57. A murder of crows
  58. A crown made of wood
  59. A golem waiting for a command
  60. A gust of wind
  61. Sand
  62. An authority
  63. A false prophet
  64. A cheese wedge, disappearing
  65. Mushrooms
  66. A hidden way out
  67. A rug of unusual quality
  68. A secret
  69. A mechanical person stuck in a loop
  70. A portal too small to enter
  71. A mirror concealed as a painting
  72. A great hole in the ground
  73. Bats carrying candlesticks
  74. A mole with something attached
  75. Lots of alcohol
  76. A corner
  77. Sudden movement
  78. The passing of time
  79. Glass jars containing experiments
  80. Spoiled food
  81. Smoke
  82. A large bird, interesting
  83. Something rotten
  84. Concealed danger
  85. A crowd looking for something
  86. Out-of-place animals
  87. A chest filled with stone, hiding a trap door underneath
  88. Chanting
  89. Displacement
  90. Roots
  91. An acorn, afloat
  92. Intelligence
  93. Religious practice
  94. Slow but safe transport
  95. A slow disassembly
  96. A nest
  97. Large optical instrument
  98. Fancy clothes spread about
  99. A highly sought-after glass bauble
  100. Living vines

Apr 22, 2021

Four picture prep


As I upload these sketches and as I type in the title of this blog post, I start to wonder if you could use only four pictures for all things in session - that is, that's the prep for the night.

The four pictures above would then - for the whole session - all represent:
  • The adventuring party
  • Random encounters
  • Loot
  • Plot hooks
  • Room descriptions
  • NPC personality traits
  • etc
For instance, you need to roll for a random encounter. Roll a 1d4 and either just use that picture as is ("You meet a knight in a never before seen armour; the knight waves at you and greet you all with a monotonous "HELLO EARTHLINGS!"), or rip off the various pieces found in the picture ("You find animal horns and hair - lots of hair").

(Now I need to get back to work. Ta-da)

Mar 15, 2021

Lair of the Bear that doesn't care

The lair of the bear that doesn't care

it can be everywhere

because when it hibernates

it transform, its body infiltrates

nature, like a balloon it inflates

< dungeon dressing, hallways, locked gates >

< mimic's blessing, old ways, ungrates >

The bear becomes the lair

but it doesn't care, 'cause it knows

between its snoring growls,

dreams of me and you and daring do's

and foes -

nine beats per minute

 nine beats per minute

  nine beats per minute

   nine beats per minute

    nine beats per minute

   nine beats per minute

  nine beats per minute

 nine beats per minute

nine beats per minute

Bells of spring ring, a recurring familiar thing

visitor begone, system collapse, song of crushing throng

blink and shrink and shrink and blink

visitor begone, take the money and run

the lair of the bear that doesn't care

resume, time to consume -

a beautiful day in June

The lair of the bear that doesn't care

it can be everywhere