This bird's up to no good

 

 

Or is it just making breakfast?

Or maybe it is totally unaware of the egg behind it?

Is it even an egg?

Are those bird legs or pants?

Is it even a bird?

And what are those magical swirls?

Are they even swirls?

Or are they twirls?

Stay* tuned!

(* You don't actually have to stay tuned, because there's no continuation planned for this)

Lair of the Bear that doesn't care

The lair of the bear that doesn't care

it can be everywhere

because when it hibernates

it transform, its body infiltrates

nature, like a balloon it inflates

< dungeon dressing, hallways, locked gates >

< mimic's blessing, old ways, ungrates >

The bear becomes the lair

but it doesn't care, 'cause it knows

between its snoring growls,

dreams of me and you and daring do's

and foes -

nine beats per minute

 nine beats per minute

  nine beats per minute

   nine beats per minute

    nine beats per minute

   nine beats per minute

  nine beats per minute

 nine beats per minute

nine beats per minute

Bells of spring ring, a recurring familiar thing

visitor begone, system collapse, song of crushing throng

blink and shrink and shrink and blink

visitor begone, take the money and run

the lair of the bear that doesn't care

resume, time to consume -

a beautiful day in June

The lair of the bear that doesn't care

it can be everywhere

 

Wikipedia monster manual

TL;DR Replace random Wikipedia page with monster name. That's your fluff.

1. Choose a monster at random either from head or from here

2. Go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

3. Replace the word after "is a ..." with your random monster (normally the first sentence)

Common snakeox

• Fur is actually hundreds of snakes
• If startled, the snakes will scatter, leaving only the horns behind
• The snakes will come searching for the horns (to reform the ox) in a couple of minutes
• There's a urban legend going around about a failed hunter who collected these horns in his cabin, only to be overrun by thousands of snakes, all looking for their horns. They all merged into one enormous snakeox, with horns all over place, and trapped inside: the hunter, still alive.
• In rare cases will the snakes attack instead
• The snakeox will turn solid (e.g. turn into a real ox) if killed in a calm state
• Highly sought-after meat

PuterDoberDisk

Nope, haven't seen any tentacled terrors around here, sir, but do try the next pond. Ta-ta for now!

Flail-tailed hoarfrost tortoise

Flail-tailed hoarfrost tortoise

Solitary living, blind, two heads.

Non-aggressive, herbivore (mouth is hidden).

Tail is split in two. Both ends have a pale blue, spiked ball.

If threaten, will try to hit its attacker with the spiked ball. It contains a mild poison that will gradually slow its attacker down each round until they can barely move. Effect lasts an hour, under which the tortoise will try to get away.

Highly intelligent, probably telepathic.

Size varies from that of small dogs to large cows. Lifespan: usually 700-1000 years.

Tastes like sour chicken.

Feline plague doctor

• Believes cats carries diseases
• Wears a porcelain mask and priest robes
• Wears red leather gloves
• Wields a long staff with an iron, hollow head on one end, that contains catnip and belladonna. Touching cats with the staff is believed to neutralize the disease for half a day
• Killing a cat is forbidden, as it will release the disease - it is better for it to be contained within the cat and neutralized
• Prays twice a day by repeatedly saying gatto morbus conrigo, and purring
• Never removes its mask, which is why most people suspect they're only part human