Feb 26, 2020

Spells run through Google Translate a couple of times

  1. Go to https://www.d20srd.org/indexes/spells.htm
  2. Copy all spells you want - I just used those under "A" because this is a silly method and I don't want to waste my time
  3. Go to https://translate.google.com
  4. Paste them into the left textbox, pick "Identify language" (or whatever it's called in your browser) for the left one always
  5. Choose a language you can't pronounce properly in the right selection box, translate
  6. Copy the translated text and paste it into the left textbox, having Google auto-identify it
  7. Repeat step 5-6 a number of times
  8. Lastly, translate it into English
  9. Tada

Well, in my head I pictured bullet item 9 to be more exciting than it was - probably because Google always translates to English as a middleware-language every time (or so I imagine) - but my odyssey through Finnish, Chinese, Russian, Zulu, Thai, Norwegian at least produced some interesting new spell names:
  • Call the police
  • Prepare weapons
  • Self-correction
  • Dweomer review
  • Animal condition
  • Let him die
  • Life Guard
  • Anti-dynamic field
  • Hat
  • Implant-resistant housing
  • Aachen's eyes
  • Bend lock
  • Mark Oken
  • Mysterious sight
  • Arcane Eye, the biggest
  • Compensation
  • Preview
  • Get up
Who are Aachen and Mark Oken? Mark Oken sounds like a 90s techno DJ from the Netherlands.

Feb 10, 2020

Anagramming Players Handbook - Part 4: ALIGNMENT

ALIGNMENT

ELICIT HAVOC
You support or are drawn to that which bring the most destruction or desolation.


CATHODIC GOO
You support or are drawn to solutions/people that are really crappy but make things flow somehow.


AUTOCRAT LICHEN
You believe in Nature being the highest ruler, and are drawn to solutions/people that upholds that.


VIA FEW LULL
You detest quick decisions. You support or are drawn to the bureaucratic, slow moving, the "let's sleep on it" solutions.


GO AWFUL OLD
You support or are drawn to decisions taken by VERY OLD PEOPLE. The older, the better. Like, you know when their skin looks like tree bark - that's your compass in life.


A WALLET UNFURL
You are drawn to whatever people pay you to believe at the moment, but nothing's free, and that it works both ways.


LET I UNRAVEL
You do not believe anyone - everyone has a secret agenda. Even the kindest person in the world has another layer to peel, beneath which some sort of scheme is forming.


LONG READ OUT
You believe in old scriptures, written words, the longer the better, unless you have to read it yourself. Any idea that has been formalized in a orderly, cursive, written structure, is an idea you can support (though you may not have the focus to hear or remember it all, surely someone else did).


TAUTEN RULER
You support or are drawn to those that upholds principles; no grey areas, no second chances, paragraphs are there for a reason.

Feb 8, 2020

Anagramming Players Handbook - Part 3: CHARACTER CLASSES

CHARACTER CLASSES

CIRCLE
A religious class. A Circle lives after the following principles:
  1. Keeping equal distance - the personal sphere is of utmost importance. A Circle that doesn't uphold the strict order of keeping equal distance between things is called a disc; someone who let things inside their boundary
  2. Upholding an Eccentricity of Absolute Zero - that is, be like everyone else
  3. No weapons of straight lines, not even thrown weapons (i.e. bow and arrow, darts, throwing knives)


I, RUDD
People of the coast, of the sea, of where ever the ground is moist and wet and at least shallow. Possess great navigational skills. Can predict the weather (if close to water). Can hold their breath for extended periods of time if submerged in water.

Characters of this class lives in clans, all sharing the same surname, which is that of a specific fish (or amphibian). They can communicate with these in their own bubbling language.


FREIGHT
Characters of this class are experts of transports and bringing stuff along. They will always find a space left in their inventory for any item smaller than a clenched fist.

In situations that demand a specific item, characters of this class will nearly always (see table below) have it in their backpack, whether or not they packed it beforehand (as long as it's smaller than a clenched fist).
If smaller than a clenched fist, the requested item will be (roll below):
  1. Just the right one - exactly what we needed!
  2. Just the right one - only broken beyond repair
  3. Just the right one - broken and unusable, but not beyond repair
  4. Almost the right one - same type, different fits
  5. Almost the right one - only half as big as we needed it to be
  6. Almost the right one - only inverted/mirrored/flipped/inside out
For some reason this does not include gem stones or coin. Trying to pull out a gem stone at the right situation (using the method above) will ALWAYS summon a tortoise instead.


AID PLAN
The project leader. The one of will get things done - if we only find these four or five people living very far from each other. She who knows experts in all fields - but is a master of none herself.

Characters of this class can always come up with a solution to ANY problem, but the solution always includes:
  1. Other people, equal to a 1d6 roll...
  2. ...all living in different parts of the country/plane (village, city, town, etc.)...
  3. ...the written consent of a professor of one of the many UNIVERSITIES that train Aid Plan characters
(Sometimes, one of the required person in the first bullet will be such a professor. Happy days.)

Solving problems without a written consent will be punished by death. There is no running away from the UNIVERSITY BOUNTY HUNTERS.


GARNER
The collector. Characters of this class are often excellent tradesmen, or runs little shops with strange goods and items, bought at cheap (or, "bought") and sold for a nice profit.

Garners have no moral.

Garners are sometimes compared to dragons in that they accumulate wealth, but unlike the dragon, a Garner does not wish to hold onto things for too long - a "stale" good, however expensive, is a lost profit if never sold.


RAGE MUSIC
The bard who never inspires, but may annoy and distract their enemies. When a Rage Musician starts playing (only in combat, otherwise they can't stand music, not even a whistle), they will play fast, hard and angrily for 1d4 rounds - after which they will smash their instrument to pieces:
  1. On the closest enemy - inflicting 1d6 points of damage
  2. On the closest enemy - inflicting 2d6 points of damage
  3. On the closest furniture
  4. On the closest party member - inflicting 1d4 of damage
  5. On the ground
  6. On the ground - causing a shockwave that knocks everyone in a 10 feet radius to fall on their behinds
During this musical rampage they are invincible, and hardly still (they will bump into whoever).


LUST IS IN OIL
The alchemist. Addict. Give them a day, an alembic, fire, and any four ingredients, and they will produce an oil of unknown effects - unless they drink it themselves (80% risk).


HE FIT
Characters of this class are excellent burglars. Legend speaks of the Ur-He Fit, the one who needed only a keyhole.

He Fit-characters lacks any strength. They are terrible fighters.


AN ASS SIS
Another religious class, only of no real faith. They make up a faith suitable to the current situation, so that it benefits them the most.


K, MON!
Characters of this classes may only be 16 years or younger. They can't feel fear. They dismiss enemies of non-humanoid types as silly - which is actually a strange kind of magic that uses Dismissive Psionic Waves to bring insecurity and annoyance to their enemies.

They are usually really good at learning things quickly, but they have no interest in displaying these skills when they are most needed.

They have like a lot of friends.

Feb 4, 2020

Anagramming Players Handbook - Part 2: CHARACTER RACES

CHARACTER RACES

WAR DEVS
You gain advantage when facing problems that involves patterns, logical thinking, and pushing tiny, tiny squares in a orderly, correct sequence - BUT ONLY during combat. You cannot think without adrenaline - when out of combat, you are really dumb.

You wear glasses. You have disadvantage at all times if not. They are not magical.

You may summon thick prismatic lines from a flat, square, abysmal black, polished rock. These lines bounces around the flat surface of the polished rock for 1 round, before materializing into reality, and start bouncing round in straight lines, like rays cast FROM BEYOND THE VOID. They deal very little damage. They may mesmerize any opponent for 2 minutes.


VS. LEE
You are a mook. You are never outnumbered - you are on the opposite side, outnumbering that lone, naked-from-the-waist up person kicking her way to the top of the tower, where your leader is. BUT YOU CAN CHANGE!

You have a vast network of contacts wherever you are. You only need to do a quick nod to get into shady establishments - proven that the bouncer at the entrance has that same grim look on her face as you do.


GEM SON
You are really tough. Like, rock hard. You weigh ten times more than everyone else.

Normal weapons cannot harm you, but watch out for pickaxes.

You can never heal, and you can never die. You can only become more and more divided, into smaller parts, until your conscience is too spread out and you become of the wind (or the muddy sea bottom). So watch out for that pickaxe.


FANG HILLS
You have no parents. You are made in the dirt by the tangled roots of the trees of FANG HILL, and you long for blood.

You have two abnormal long teeth. You can unscrew these and use as tools, or for climbing a hill side, maybe even the side of FANG HILL, or for tossing them at an enemy (treat as throwing knife).


MA SHUN
You are of the race of eternal children. You have never seen grown ups, and can never understand the concept of ageing. Any humanoid older than ten is a Giant Ma Shun in your eyes.

You are very shy among non-eternal children. Unless you cover your eyes in combat, you are paralysed and cannot act. Covering your eyes lets you perceive the world in a wireframe mode. You cannot see ropes or straight lines in this mode.

Feb 3, 2020

Anagramming Players Handbook - Part 1: CHARACTER ABILITIES

CHARACTER ABILITIES

  • St. Nth Erg - determines the character's faith in one unspecific incarnation of the saint that protects all sailors of small vessels
  • Let In Nice Leg - determines the character's ability to sneak into establishments where she really shouldn't be allowed to
  • Ms. Id Ow - determines the character's ability to withstand and inflict psionic pain especially targeted against the dark pleasure parts of the brain
  • Ex Tit Dyer - determines the magnitude of strange and exotic jobs taken prior to the character's current way of life (which is that of an adventurer)
  • To Tonic Units - determines the character's skill in potion brewery and insight into alchemical potency, especially those dealing with alcohol
  • Archaism - determines the character's ability to deal with old history, the outdated, the no longer understood - whatever the topic. Also determines how well understood the character is (higher score, less so)

Jan 29, 2020

Anagramming Monster Manual - Part A

Larvae Snare It
Tiny things that strangles their victims

Anhkheg
Stupid monster that ruins a blog post.

Anti Gnat
Grotesque mosquito that injects a load of blood into your veins, for different purposes (to marinate you from the inside, to make you fluorescent, to...).

Pea
Green and mean and hideously large beings that rolls down hills and CRUSH their enemies - while still being very healthy for you.

A Bake Ex
A golem you used to date. Very aggressive.