Desert adventure

Ten tall pyramids

In the static sea
Ten tall pyramids
Sung to me

Marbled mannequin
Marbled mannequin

In the static sea
Ten tall pyramids
Sung to me

30 minute map: Loch Pyramid

Loch Pyramid

A 30-minute map and adventure - I spent 15 minutes on the bloody one-line drawing below so I don't have much time left!

Background generator

1. The pyramid has been used as a trashpit for the last century, but it doesn't seem to ever fill up. Something inside is consuming the trash
2. This site by the water had neither a pyramid or the pillars last night. They are wet as if they were washed up from the beach below
3. The very ordinary looking house on the courtyard in front of the pyramid seems out of place. No one can remember building it. It has no windows, and the front door is locked. Vultures flock on the roof, far above.
4. Water levels are rising alarmingly fast each day, and the old campsite below is not safe anymore. Caravans are seeking shelter on the plateu on top of the stairs, but the old legend about jinns stealing things and keeping them in the old pyramid is always near. Two nights ago, the court wizard disappeared, and last night her head came rolling down the pyramid. Stranger still, she's still alive.
5. Birds are diving into the sand on top of the plateu as if it were just water. The plunge in, disappearing beneath the sand, and come up some minutes later with pearl beads and gemstones. But once in a while, the beads are replaced with freshly cut fingers or eyeballs
6. It's a mimic

Mm and Ää

Two angry counterspells

YEAH WELL THAT MAY BE SO BUT HOW ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU...?
Doesn't counter. You take full damage, but upon impact you spontaneously cast a spell back starting with the same letter as the incoming spell, because yeah well my memory may be foggy but remember that camping trip yeah you do and remember that money I said you could keep and...

Doesn't matter if you can't cast spells, a spell will fire off anyway, because retaliating isn't about details, it's about having the last word! Yeah it is! Is too! Yeah well that may be so but how about the time...


YEAH I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
First time it is cast, it doesn't actually counter the incoming spell - you just face that damage full on.

But if you're targeted a second time with the same spell, you only take half damage, because yeah I like heard you the first time dimwit, like, oh my lord, are you a broken record or just a broken soul?

And if you're targeted a third time, only a third, and so on.

Additionally, after the first time, roll a d6. On a 6, the incoming spell splits and bounces back and does the same damage amount as it just did to you (half, third etc.), like WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THIS I SAID I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME LIKE OH MY GOD CALL SOMEONE.

AD&D Monster Manual as haiku (part 3 - C)

CAMEL, Wild

Fifty percent risk
Wet shot of blinding
Bodily fluid


CARRION CRAWLER

Handy flesh hoover
My game is death and decay
Mmm, what's rotting dear?


CATOBLEPAS

I asked her out, she
said "No redeeming features!"
Nobody loves me


CATTLE, Wild

I'm Steve the Stampede
I'll fucking run over you
You better run son


CENTAUR

Here, have a man bag
The ladies dig it, you know?
Because I'm worth it


CENTIPEDE, Giant

THE ANGER, THE RUSH,
THE BITE, THE POISON, THE CRUSH
Yeah, no real danger


CEREBRAL PARASITE

Sorry I was blind
You are always on my mind
So happy you're mine


CHIMERA

Destruction in thirds
Palette of death, a dire choice
Let me see the goat


COCKATRICE

Beatrice the Cock
She had a masonry touch
But hey, that beak though


COUATL

Speak all, listen none
Psionically aware
Cook til very rare


CRAB, Giant

Enlarge the mundane
is not the answer, rather
transpose A and R


CRAYFISH, Giant

Cherax Destructor!
Snip snap clip clap crash hi-hat
Cherax Destructor!


CROCODILE

Great wall of China
here comes, some slow, all stupid
Gently smiling jaws

Brain Lake

(My daughter named this.)

Saving stupid ideas I had on Google+ on this blog so that Google may delete them again in the future

For future readers: there once was a place called Google+. It was pretty nice for OSR and RPG and whatever. I wrote a lot of stupid game ideas there. A lot went unnoticed, as they do. Doesn't mean I don't want to not preserve them. Like odd coffee mugs in your cupboard - nobody likes them but you.

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Transformers monsters light-ish.

So orcs are like boars. What if some monsters could shift their lever on the ”animal - humanoid” scale dynamically whenever it fits them?

So orcs. In most cases they walk upright like humans, but let’s say they need to chase someone. They just push the ”lever” toward the animal-end on the scale slightly, so that they may run on all four faster. Maybe loose some gear. Maybe that’s why some monsters tend to prefer being naked.

Maybe there’s a risk of the lever getting stuck? Oh this gnoll tried to sneak into the human city by pullong the lever all the way to the human end - and it stuck. That gnoll is now and forever some sort of really clueless human.

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"To replace Oswald, Disney and Iwerks developed Mickey Mouse, possibly inspired by a pet mouse that Disney had adopted while working in his Laugh-O-Gram studio, although the origins of the character are unclear." (Wikipedia)

The Bridge Betwen Planes stood open for a brief period of time - a mere day - but during that time, the young Walter Disney managed to not only find its location, but also gain access to what he would later refer to as the Plane of Comicals.

There, he met inhabitants similar to human beings but yet so far off, who lived in bent and twisted buildings, travelling bent and twisted roads, following bent and twisted routines. Most inhabitants seemed to live on a day to day basis, he reckoned, since they often couldn't give a record of what had happened to them the day before. They also didn't seemed to understand the concept of tomorrow.

He named the inhabitants for Potentialists, since they gave him a multitude of ideas that he sketched down in his notebook.

On returning to our plane, Walter went over his sketches numerous times, erasing and adding, until it was presentable and approachable.

He never found the Bridge Between Planes again.

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Stupid game idea

Using domino bricks instead of tohit rolls between players to build attack combos

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Half-orcs, half-elves yes but what about half-ghosts?

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Stupid game idea 7216:

A wizard’s head grows physically larger proportionally to the number of spells memorized.

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You know how some trees like sweat through their leaves and the ground becomes all sticky and you have to walk on it on the way to the bus and suddenly you have all these leaves and grass and twigs stuck under your shoe?

There’s something gameable in there I think

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A town in the underdark, where it is truly dark, people there have no eyes. Instead, highly evolved noses, and different types of odor trails.

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In a cyberpunk game, would spells be like torrents found on Piratebay?

Sometimes it’s the correct version, but with Spanish subs etc.

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Pokemon zombiefied where you have to catch them all because the little critters are zombies and are spreading the disease.

And you cast a cast iron ball and need to crack their skull and collect the goo because it’s very valuable, but also contaigious so if you leave any goo behind other animals will eat it and become pokemon zombies.

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Not-to-scale armour

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Replace drow —> drown

They dont have dark skin, its just too dark in the depths of the ocean to see their skin.

Driders are those creepy spider crabs or what theyre called.

Lilith is a continent spanning coral reef. She cant move but she can expand.

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”Daddy, once there was a troll, and he sneezed a forest.” - my daughter, 3 years old

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Anatomically Incorrects are reanimated amalgamationskeletons created by a young failed artist living in the mountains, who skipped anatomy classes when going to art school.

The skeletons are pretty friendly but horrifying to look at (save vs fear).

The young failed artist aldo dabbles in necromancy, needless to say.

Motto: ”How hard can it be”

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basking sharks are sea-trolls

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Reversed Sages

You don't come to these to get answers. You come to them to hear the questions you should be asking yourself to complete your current objectives.

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All venison consumed during a full moon comes alive inside the person who ate it.

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Lampires drink blood and illuminates the area

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Game idea 9

Wisps are named so because they contain liquid Wish magic.

They are actually more like coconuts. You have to cleave them and drink their innards to gain the wish spell.

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All those evil looking doors and altars and goblets and carved stone frames and door knobs with thorns and fangs and demon eyes and all in high detail and excellent but fearsome craftmanship...someone made those.

Some bloke on the evil team is an excellent artist. It's his/her job to make all those fearful and terrible but also very nicely done things.

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Stupid game idea 12938123

Your fridge is all you need for world building.

The stuff you have in there, and their placement relative to each other, tells their own stories.

At the bottom; the Green Lands. Half men, half vegetables. Some age quicker than others. A foul stench. Is it the uprising you smell? Oppressed, but they can't be caged no more.

At the top; the Alchemists in their Glass Towers. Simple alcoholics, or geniuses? Some more filled with themselves than others. Take a sip of their wisdom if you dare - no one knows where it will lead you.

The door swings open; the Revolting Plane. It comes and goes. When it's near, everything gets cold. The Ivory Watchtowers, cubic and tall. Some say their halls flows with milk, some say the only entrance is at the top

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Stupid game idea 95321

Using "Antiques Roadshow" in your game as the only mean to identify magic items.

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"I ALWAYS WANT TO BITE, BECAUSE I AM AN OLD KING"

(said in a robotic voice by my 3-year old daughter while playing with Lego. Probably gameable)

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Stupid game idea 4

You know all those entries, like:
LEECH, Giant
BEAVER, Giant
RAT, Giant
GAR, Giant
etc

They are now real giants (e.g. really tall dumb humanoids), but head is of the animal. Skin is of same texture and properties as the animal. They still live in the same environment (under water etc.).

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Drawing portraits with your eyes closed is a mutant generator in itself

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Stupid game idea 619245

Ettins, hydras and other multiple headed creatures all talk in canon.

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Stupid game idea 51914

Treat the Monster Manual as a collection of human clans/houses instead.

"House Beholder: eleven eyes awatching" and so on.

If an entry mentions psionic abilities, read it as the clan's willingness to intrigue/plot (eg "play mindgames").

"% in lair" could indicate nomadic clans (or degree thereof).

And so on.

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Stupid game idea 9824

Butterflies are now mind flayers.

They still suck your brains out, but only a little!

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Stupid game idea 9971

Ents don't walk upright.

They must uproot and then fall down, before they can crawl like a centipede.

They are blind but their roots serves as feelers.

They use local psionics (1-2 metres) to compel animals to help them with basic chores.

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Stupid game idea 175328

Everytime a dwarf gains a level, s/he gets wider.

Everytime an elf gains a level, s/he gets taller.

The effect should resemble old cheap texture effects found in those first 3D-games that came in the 90s.

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Forest Queen

The reagent's dress changes with the seasons, and is in sync with each and every tree in her garden. There's one tree missing on the back, that being the one tree her late husband hung himself from (and the tree was cut down shortly after, therefore changing the dress).

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Stupid game idea 5132

Rewrite every spell so that it they can be tuned like an ADSR-envelope.

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Stupid game idea 3

Ants are spreaders of rumours.

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I'm thinking time travelling is like a git tree.

If you go back in time, you're leaving your branch hanging there, and if you commit new changes to the past, it becomes harder and harder to incorporate your hanging future into the new future.

Time travellers will all have at least one colleague who moans about orphaned futures. "History should be in a straight line!!!!"

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While capturing spirits may only be successfully done with a camcorder, field experiments have shown that ordinary cameras may capture/borrow aspects or moods of said spectre, as a way of weakening them (or for studying).

Practicing this with any non-instant camera is bound for utter disaster, as the borrowed aspects of the spectre rests in single frames, tightly grouped together inside the camera (it's only a matter of time before the energies of the framed aspects form into something sentient). We shall not even mention the horrors of mixing frames of multiple spectres on the same undeveloped film.

Using a instant camera is much better, as the frame is developed instantly. But beware of starting a collection of spectre Polaroids: like sharks, spectres can smell the scent of aspects from miles away.

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Stupid game idea 915

A ghostbustin' game set in early 80s. You captire ghosts using regular portable VCRs.

One tape can hold one ghost safetly. But people are cheapskates and crams multiple ghosts into the same tape, causing the ghosts to transform and escape more easily.

Soviet agents have been using a reverse technique to possess US spies - sometimes with captured ghosts, sometimes with captured "volunteers".

The tapes of captured ghosts are still viewable in a regular VHS player, but it's the worst horror you'll ever witness. Popular amongst teens, and there's a black market supporting it.

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A Remove Disease alternative based on my week sick:

When someone cast remove disease on you, you are transferred to some feverish tiny flesh dungeon (2-3 interconnected empty rooms, all leading to one bigger) - basically your inside.

There you'll have to go head to head with your disease in the shape of something fitting (find a random demon generator).

The other players have turned into weapons, hanging around your waist (encumberence doesn't count because is this real is it fantasy??).
Base the weapon type on the player's class:
- fighter: claymore
- cleric: mace
- wizard: wand
Or something more exciting. Maybe make them + weapons based on the players level. Or turn each player into powerful spells.

If you slay your disease, you wake up healthy as a nut core (Swedish proverb).

If you fail you wake up with minimal HP but at least disease ridden. But you wake up d4 weeks later.

Twists: casting banish on the disease demon will force it into reality, but leaving you behind in your fever dream (coma?) until someone slays it.

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Stupid idea #2124

What if the entire campaign world except the player characters were aware of the fact that it wasn't real? Like a large movie set?

Like, the player's would walk into a city, but most of the buildings would be fake if the examined them closely (like in old Western movies with their large facades).
Some rooms would contain used props.
Fighting a monster would sometimes knock of the costume's head, revealing the actor underneath.
Loose papers could be found throughout the world, hastily written manuscripts ("SCENE XXXIV. ENTER STAGE RIGHT.") with dialogues.
The avatar of your DM, almost breaking the fourth wall by looking into the camera.

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Wizard curse: metathesis

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Turn Undead: flesh starts to grow on the withered body in front of you. A minute later, the body is fully restored to its former self.
At least as long as the spell lasts.

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Wish spell revision: turn it into a restore savestate as found in emulators. You don't know how long it's been since the last save, or if it was saved with really bad timing (eg. saved just before big bad boss, low on hearts), or if it's corrupted (eg. will screw up the world's RAM).

There's no save state spell available to the players. Who creates these saves? Gods?

And it's a 1st level spell.

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Reverse advancement: instead of unlocking fireballs and devastation at high levels, you start with them at low levels. Each time you level up, you lose the ability to use one or more of these higher level spells.

The gnarly old sorceror in his treetower, you know he killed a platoon of giants all those years ago, yeah? Haven't seen him casting anything since then though...

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Clouds to rocks

Turn any seen clouds into boulders. They fall down immediately.

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What if magic items started leaking/corroding like the batteries in your old toys/Walkmans, you know when they don't work and you open the battery hatch and it's all white and pulverized and such because you forgot about them and they've been living in a box in a cellar for 33 years.

How would a magic missile corrode?
Fox's cunning?
Finger of death?

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Buff spells that need to be removed (like a curse), otherwise you turn into something else?

Fly: turn into a bird permanently unless removed within X hours

Water breathing: turn into a dolphin unless etc.

Fox's cunning: turn into a fox unless etc.

And so on. Could perhaps delay the undesired effect based on PC level.

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The undead city of Cotard.
But they are not undead.
But they say they are.
And there's a mob marching over there to burn the liches and necros to the ground.
But the liches aren't undead.
But they say they are.
And so on...

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Knights of Citodonia, the mellowest fighters

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Random name generator: try to write any name as fast as possible on your phone.
For better result: use wrong hand, or type while drink.

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Time Flies
Insect swarm. HP/Damage equal to # in swarm. AC nonexisting (roll damage = that many dies). Kill one = you age 1 year.

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...and that's all that will be preserved from my presence on Google+. The selected posts above span from 2019-02 to 2014-something. There are probably more, but my back hurts and frankly - nobody cares. There's no such thing as a very good game idea that was lost forever - because someone will always re-think it again.

And here's an image of an orc pointing finger at something I just drew that has nothing to do with any of this:

Wash hands before casting spells

The Mauler

The Mauler is some kind of superhero villain. He wears an ABBA t-shirt ironically. He suffers from a badly drawn left shoulder, and a too heavy sledgehammer (his primary weapon).
He's always angry because he feeds on teen angst.

The OTHER spell components

You all know Verbal, Somatic and Material. Meet their cousins:

1. Mansplaining: you must spend 1d4 rounds explaining to the spell's target IN DETAIL everything there is to know about the spell; WHO researched it first, WHEN, WHY, HOW MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS are casting it, the list of OTHER SPELLS you considered casting before settling on this one, how many TIMES you've cast this spell, and why WOMEN can't cast it properly even though they surely will TRY to
2. Staging: you must spend 1d6 rounds preparing and rehearsing the spell. EVERYONE - friend or foe - needs to be involved, but remember this: YOU are the director, the grand visionary, the only one who TRULY knows how the spell will play out. Of COURSE there will be an audience at opening night (another 2d20 rounds spent looking for people). Great, you all wait here will I go and break down in my trailer
3. Vegan: this fireball you just cast at me, it doesn't quite...well you know, it looks like a fireball, but there's something...like, here...something about the texture...yeah yeah it's hurting all right, but it's not...the heat is not like anything I've...you don't say...no I did not know about unethical heat extraction of the multiverse...I will consider that in my next life

Klagg and Puff commissioned piece (by Luka Rejec)

By Luka Rejec

Monster Manual doodles

Yes I know the Baalroch is supposed to be a bull with wings, but I'm thinking maybe it's time for crocodile-faced Baalrochs now.

Klagg and Puff, part 2

As the Tower of Impossible Heights descended through the atmosphere, penetrating the purple clouds, it was as the planet awoke rudely, searching in panic for that little mosquito bearing doom, and the continents formed an iris that locked on to the technologically impossible space faring vessel.

UNWANTED, the planet erupted deep in its core.

"What a wonderful place," Klagg said and pressed her head against one of the round windows. "I don't think we've been here before, have we dear?"

Puff didn't answer, but she didn't have to. This wasn't a conversation.

"And look at that, you won't believe me dear, but it feels like we're flying into an eye!" As the word left her mouth, she hesitated and pulled back from the window. "Oh dear."

Puff finished unbuttoning her robe in silence, and left it to rest over the gnarly seat.

"Oh dear. I recognize it now. Oh dear. I know you, planet."

Klagg extended her unspeakable arm, and gently tapped on the window glass with her hideous so called finger nail.

Tap.

Tap tap.

Tap tap tap.

Tap-tap tap-tap tap-tap.

Tap-tap-tap TAP-TAP-TAP TAP-TA-

"Oh stop it!" Puff bellowed.

"Sorry."

"I don't know why you are so wound up," Puff said and pulled out a box from a rip in space next to her. "It's my arm that gets sliced."

"I know dear, but - "

"But what?"

"It's the sound, dear." Puff said, and managed to constrain herself from tapping the window. "You know, from your mouth." She circled her own with a rotting finger.

Klagg sighed, and hid the box in the exposed tissues of her body.

"The sound is the whole purpose of the cut," Klagg said, and continued with an arm raised: "Now dear, lead me to the Beast That Answer To No Known Sound, for I am not certain my legs will carry me, and if I fall, I know that I -"

"Oh spare me," Puff interrupted, taking Klagg's arm and leading them both through the main exit vortex on the wall; The Tower of Impossible Heights had successfully landed on the planet, and the beast awaited.