A dungeon while I wait for Labubu to restock...

(NOTE: I started this post on May 30)

Apparently, we made a promise to our daughter to buy her a special kind of doll called a LABUBU (google it). These are all the trend nowadays and therefore I have no idea since I was born in the early 80s and still believe that all kids likes one of the following three things:

• robots from outer space that transforms into cassette players
• semi-aquatic creatures with hard shells that fights evil while enjoying Italian cuisine in American oversized sewers
• Danish plastics

And you can't just order them online willy-nilly, no, because they restock them at what seems completely random. But according to Internet rumours, they will restock them tonight - or, as we in Sweden call it, four in the morning... And since it's around eleven in the evening here right now, I have a couple of hours to kill, so why not do a stupid dungeon while I wait?

So therefore I present to you, in monospaced typeface, 40 characters column width, made up as I go, completely untested...


(UPDATE: read the epilogue at the faaaaaaar end of this post if you want to know whether or not they DID restock the LABUBU...!)

========================================
/              THE  CURSE              \
/                  OF                  \
/              THE UBUBAL              \
========================================
 
 
BACKGROUND
In the sandiest part of the lost desert
of AL BUUB, there lies a stone temple,
shaped like cube.
 
It is said that treasures aplenty awaits
those who dare enter - IF they can avoid
the lurking eyes of...THE UBUBAL!
 
 
TRUE RUMOURS (1d6)
 1. The temple is only accessible
    through a water tunnel
 2. The UBUBAL is trapped inside the
    temple
 3. The UBUBAL has a mesmerising gaze
 4. The UBUBAL is afraid of water
 5. "Greed will kill the frogs!"
 6. The temple has been used as a prison 
 
 
FALSE RUMOURS (1d6)
 1. The UBUBAL isn't real
 2. The temple is empty
 3. The water in the oasis is poisonous
 4. There are frogs in the temple that
    speak the human tongue, if patted
 5. All treasure is cursed by the UBUBAL
 6. The UBUBAL is a small doll
    resembling a bear
 
 
TRUE AND FALSE RUMOUR (1d1)
 1. The last expedition is still alive
    in the temple
(this is both true and false since they
were turned into zombies.)
 
 
WILDERNESS MAP
======================================== 
. .   .  .        .               .
     .          .    .    T          .
  .         .            O     .
 .     .           .      .      . 
========================================
                . = SAND
                T = TEMPLE
                O = OASIS 

The temple has no visible entrance. The
only way in is through a water tunnel
from the oasis outside.
 
 
OASIS SIDE VIEW MAP
========================================
 
                              S 
 
 
__P___P...........P_P______________T1___
        ..........                 t2
         .......            .......t3
          ....             ...     
          .....         ....   
           ...............

========================================
     _ = GROUND LEVEL (SAND)
     . = WATER
    T1 = TEMPLE LVL 1 (ABOVE GROUND)
    t2 = TEMPLE LVL 2 (BELOW GROUND)
    t3 = TEMPLE LVL 3 (BELOW GROUND) 
     P = PALM TREE
     S = SUN
 
It is possible for an adult human to
hold their breath and swim the
distance just barely, but this assumes
no armour.
 
There is no aquatic life in the water. 
 
 
TEMPLE MAP - LEVEL 3 (t3)
========================================
 
  ###################################
  # .E...<<<    S $ ## ^    ## ¤ ¤ ##
  ############D#######  Z $ ##  ^  ##
  #.&.#......   ¤ #######   ## ¤ ¤ ##
  #...#...F...    ## ¤ #######     ##
  #...S......     D          D     ##
  ###################################

======================================== 
   # = STONE WALL
   . = WATER
   E = EXIT (FROM WATER TUNNEL)
 <<< = SLOPE UPWARDS (SMOOTH ROCKS)
   D = DOOR 
   S = SECRET DOOR
   $ = TREASURE (ROLL ON TABLE)
   ¤ = BRAZIER (BURNING)  
   F = 1d12 FROGS
   ^ = HOLE IN CEILING (TO LEVEL 2)
   & = FROG STATUE 
   Z = ZOMBIE 
 
   ONE SQUARE EQUALS 1.5 METRES
 
Level 3 of the stone temple is a damp
place. The air is thick with smoke from
the burning braziers. The ceiling
height is about 3 metres. 
 
STONE WALLs (#) are blueish in colour,
and rough to the touch. 
 
SLOPE (<<<) is slippery and smooth.
There are RUNES cut into the stone that
may be hard to notice, that spell out:
           BUBU LAL UBUB
Pronouncing the runes out loud will
make ones teeth sharp as knives (1d4
damage), and fixate a sinister smile on
the speaker for one hour.
(Pronouncing the runes outside the
temple has no effect.)
 
SECRET DOORs (S) are both large linen
tapestries, running from ceiling to
floor, of animals resembling bears with
unnatural large grins and eyes.
 
TREASURE ($) for this level is rolled
on this table:
 
  1. 2d4 glowing corundum gems, will not glow
     outside the temple 
     (100 GP, weighs 0.5 kg)
  2. A figurine of a frog with
     humanoid body, holding out its
     hands. It's hollow with no apparent
     opening, and contains liquid that
     when quaffed has the same effect as
     a Cure Serious Wounds spell.
     There are also two broken figurines,
     empty on liquid. 
     (250 GP, weighs 1 kg)
  3. A sealed glass jar containing
     a green blob floating in oil.
     The blob presses its body
     against the jar in the
     direction of treasure or danger
     (500 GP, weighs 2 kg)
  4. 2d6 x 1000 SP and a human skull
     with claw markings on it
  5. Lots of broken pottery, mixed with
     105 GP
  6. A magic wand, that fires projectiles
     that splashes water on impact (no
     damage)
     (50 charges, 50 GP)
  
All DOORs (D) are stuck but unlocked.
The first door has a small opening at the
bottom, big enough for a small animal to
pass through. 
 
FROGS (F) occupy a pool of water, around
one metre deep. They are colourful and
poisonous, but in all regards normal
frogs.
 
The HOLE IN CEILING (^) is about 1m².
Looking up only darkness can be seen.
A faint, low pitched moaning can be
heard from time to time.
  Each hole leads to the same square
on temple level 2 (t2).
 
The FROG STATUE (&) depicts a large
sitting frog, the size of a large dog.
  The statue is carved from a tree trunk,
and rests on a stone slab, so it isn't
touching the water.
  There is an emerald inserted into
the left eye socket of the statue
(500 GP), the other socket is empty.
Removing the emerald will immediately
kill all frogs on this level.
  The water in this area is knee deep.
 
The ZOMBIE (Z) is in pretty bad shape,
since it has fallen down through the
hole from level 2 (t2). It can't use
its left leg.
    AC 8, 2 HD, #ATK 1, DMG d8
    SPECIAL ATTACK: see zombies
    on level 2.
 
 
 
TEMPLE MAP - LEVEL 2 (t2)
========================================
 
  ###################################
  #     D   #  $ D  #  v#     D   #$#
  #  #####  ######  ##B##  #### v # #
  #  b 3 #  2    #         #1 B   S #
  #  #########  ##  #####S###########
  #4 b   #   b      S $#          ^ #
  ###################################
               
========================================
    # = STONE WALL
    v = HOLE IN FLOOR (TO LEVEL 3)
    ^ = HOLE IN CEILING (TO LEVEL 1) 
    D = DOOR (STUCK)
    S = SECRET DOOR
    B = BARRED DOOR
    b = OPEN BARRED DOOR 
    1 = ZOMBIE 1
    2 = ZOMBIE 2 (WANDERING)
    3 = ZOMBIE 3 (WANDERING)
    4 = ZOMBIE 4 (WANDERING)
 
Level 2 of the stone temple is
pitch dark; there are no light sources.
 
The ceiling height is around 3 metres.
 
There are floor-to-ceiling tapestries
here and there on this floor as well,
same as on level 3, but none are
secret doors. 

HOLE IN FLOOR (v) back down to level 3
is around 1m². They exit to the same
square on the map for level 3 (t3).
 
SECRET DOORs (S) on this floor are door
frames that have been filled with bricks
with no mortar, so a gentle push will
reveal an opening, though the darkness
will make it hard to detect them.
 
All DOORs (D) are stuck but unlocked.
 
BARRED DOORs (B) are rusty and old, and
locked. The gap between the bars are
wide enough to fit a hand. The keys are
long gone.
 
All ZOMBIEs (1, 2, 3, 4) share the
same statistics:
    AC 8, 2 HD, DMG d8
    SPECIAL ATTACK: can prolong their
    tongue up to 4.5 metres in an
    attack to try and grapple an
    opponent (e.g. the tongue shoots
    out of their mouth). The zombie
    will not necessarily attack the
    grappled opponent, even if that
    means that their tongue is
    "occupied".
    Cutting off the tongue will turn it
    into a sentient "snake", that will
    attack on its own; it will try to
    strangle its opponent. Only fire
    will truly kill it 
    (AC 6, 1 HP, DMG 1d4/round) 
 
ZOMBIE 1 (1) is clad in torn clothes,
and wanders aimlessly inside its cell. 
It carries a silver necklace with a
wooden pendant around its neck. The
wooden pendant resembles a bear. 
  There is a pile of shredded textiles
in the corner, and underneath, a small
wooden bear figurine.
 
ZOMBIE 2 (2) carries pants, no shirt,
and a helmet turned the wrong way. The
zombie doesn't seem to mind. It is
wandering aimlessly, changing
direction when bumping into walls.
  It is holding a severed arm. 
 
ZOMBIE 3 (3) is missing its right eye.
A green emerald has been shoved in the
eye socket (500 GP).
  It is holding a wooden bear figurine,
which it will utilise as a weapon.
 
ZOMBIE 4 (4) is missing its left arm.
 
TREASURE ($) on this level is rolled on
this table:
 
  1. 2d20 x 10,000 copper pieces, and a
     wooden bear idol the size of a
     hand 
  2. Leather pouch containing 2d8 dried
     leaves. Eating one will grant user
     ability to breathe under water
     for ten minutes; however,
     breathing air during that period
     is impossible 
  3. A stained old map of an unknown
     region. Scribbled drawings of large
     eyes and teeth are drawn at certain
     locations
  4. 3d4 dried frogs in a leather pouch.
     Eating one whole grants user one of
     the follow random effects for ten
     minutes (1d4):
      1. Uncontrolled vomiting; unable to
         act during this period
      2. Speak with amphibians
      3. Can leap 3 metres into the air
      4. Eyes turn pitch black. Palms
         start producing mild toxins 
  5. A bear skull, ornamented with
     beautiful stones, of which now
     2d4 remains (50 GP/each)
  6. Dagger of Doutdes. On a hit,
     depletes half of targets HP, but
     on the next hit, does the same to
     the wielder, and so on.
       Roll d6 to determine "starting
       state": 1-3 deplete target,
               4-6 deplete wielder
 
 
 
TEMPLE MAP - LEVEL 1 (T1)
========================================
 
  ###################################
  #                                 #
  #        I    I    i    I         #
  # A U                             #
  #        I    I    I    I         #
  #                               v #
  ###################################
               
========================================
     # = STONE WALL
     I = MARBLE COLUMNS
     i = MARBLE COLUMN (DAMAGED) 
     v = HOLE IN FLOOR (TO LEVEL 2)
     U = THE UBUBAL
     A = ALTAR 
 
Level 1 of the stone temple is pitch
dark; there are no light sources, save
for the UBUBAL's eyes, which illuminates
the immediate area in front of it (up to
1 metre).
 
The MARBLE COLUMNS (I) are pillars that
stretches from floor to ceiling. They
are smooth to the touch.
 
One MARBLE COLUMN (i) is broken and only
half. There are debris shattered on the
floor right next to it.
 
The ALTAR (A) is a smooth marble slab,
around 0.5 metre tall. 1d4 + 5 small
wooden bear idols are spread all over
it.
 
The UBUBAL (U) is pacing back and forth
at the far end. It looks like an large
brown bear, but with unsettling eyes and
mouth; the eyes are large as platters,
bone white, with vertical pupils; the
mouth is a fixated in a large grin, with
pointy sharp teeth.
  The UBUBAL always looks directly at
the players.
  It will not attack unless provoked,
and will try to keep a distance by
circling the columns.
  Killing the UBUBAL will instantly
transform one of the wooden bear idols
into a new living copy of the UBUBAL.
This also includes any wooden bear
idols found on level 2 (t2).
 
    STATISTICS: 
    AC 6, 8+8 HD, DMG d10/d10/2d6
    (use POLAR BEAR for AD&D)
 
    TREASURES:
    * The eyes of the UBUBAL counts as
      white opals (1000 GP/each) 
 
========================================
/                 THE                  \
/                 END                  \
========================================

 

EPILOGUE

Yeah so this is what happened: my plan was to sit up from eleven in the evening, to four in the morning, writing this.

And naturally, since I'm an adult in my early 40s, I managed to endure an hour before I had to crawl back to bed. My 22 year old self would feel ashamed of me.

BUT! I went up at 03:30, and sat and refreshed that POP MART online store for 45 minutes, to no avail: they did NOT restock that morning... I went to bed and slept for no minutes at all since my daughter woke up and was utterly devastated that they hadn't restocked, and didn't want to go back to sleep, so we went up and watched tv, waiting for school to start... Yeah it was a long day.

However, as I continued filling out the stone temple, little stories started to form in my head; who were the zombies? Why are there so many frogs? What's up with all the wooden bear idols?

I tried to follow AD&D 1e, using the excellent OSRIC for easy reference (I can't press CTRL+F in my AD&D books). I probably messed up all the treasures, even if I tried my best (i.e. how much gold per level? what are the anticipated player level, and how much gold do they need? etc.).

And for those really ADVANCED maps, I found it easiest to just plot them in good old vim, and then paste them into Blogger.

 

And yeah, the UBUBAL confrontation is a bit anticlimactic. Maybe the temple can start crumbling after it is killed? Get those cheezy 80s adventure movie vibes going.

GOOD NIGHT 

 

 

...in which my daughter makes me play her Untitled Goose Game map

So the other day I threw together an impromptu game session for my ten year old daughter, using the video game Untitled Goose Game as a base, and we had a blast.

Yesterday, she wanted to continue playing, but on the "north part" of the map, also known as the part of the map I hadn't drawn. Always eager to keep her interest up, I suggested that she also drew something while I was finishing the map for our game. So we sat down at the kitchen table with pen and paper (and crisps) (for continued motivation), and started drawing.

After a while she put down her pen and said: "Ok, my game map is finished, we're gonna play it first."

So apparently the game plan for the night had changed - she was so pleased with her map, she decided to be the game master, and naturally, I had to roll up a character.

A goose, naturally.

Character creation in her game started with me choosing one of several goose stickers, laid out in front of me:

 

(I picked the one in the upper-left corner.)

Then, I had to name it (naturally). I choose the name "Glåse" (like "Goosey", but with an L thrown in, so more like, eh, "Gloosey"...?).

I then asked if I should roll for any attributes. Yes! Of course! She started to name them, three in all, and then paused.

"You know," I said, "in some RPGs you only have three attributes, and in some, you have like...twentyfive."

(I didn't want her to limit herself to mimic my game from the other day.)

Which did the trick, because then she started to name attribute after attribute. This is my character sheet:

The attributes (to the left in the picture) are, in order from top to bottom:

• NAME
• RUN (as a noun)
• BEAK
• FEATHERS
• NECK
• EYESIGHT
• EAT (as a noun...?)
• CLUMSINESS
  

The last one was a secret attribute at first; she just gave me another set of dice and told me to roll. But then she couldn't keep it in, so she told me that it was clumsiness.

Oh, and I had to track hunger and thirst as well (middle column in the picture; "Hunger" and "Törst". The comment on the top is just "Likes grapes"). These were percentages, starting at 100, and going up and down whenever she remembered to...

After character creation, she revealed her map:

The lines are a bit bleak here and there, because she updated it during the game (as in: with eraser).

The map is of an apartment, seen from above. The entrance is the door in the top-middle with the cat door. Almost invisible square in the top-left is the bathroom (the door is the thicker line). There were two people (sorry, silhouettes) in a sofa behind a thin cloth. The thing next to the sofa is a waste bin with something that smells "sweet and nasty at the same time" (you can see the traced "smell lines" spreading all the way to the front door).

Apparently, Glåse was hanging around outside the apartment (as geese do, we all know that), when he suddenly found a piece of bread outside the apartment, and naturally, he took it, and entered through the cat door.

I started exploring, and just as in our previous game, investigating an area meant turning the paper over to reveal a "zoomed in" view, with more details:

 

We played for an hour or so, and in the end my inventory consisted of (the square boxes on the character sheet):

• Winter hat
• Two slices of bread
• Canned food (never got to open it, so don't know what's inside)
• Two slices of bacon (was three; Glåse ate one)
• Half a sponge cake
• Frog plushie
  

Glåse ended the session with having met yet another goose in the apartment, that had a secret, cosy den/nest, where they both went to bed (it's hard being a goose).

We had great fun, and it was impressive to see her improvise so freely.

HONK HONK.

 

(Oh, and the "sweet and smelly" thing in the waste bin? Turned out to be the sponge and a poop bag next to each other. "But it's ok!" she said, "the sponge is in a bag!")

Untitled Goose Game as base for my daughter's game

So, the other night, my ten year old daughter wanted to play some RPG, with me as the game master for once.

"And do a map!"

"Of course! Yes yes..." (slightly panicking, trying to hurry up before she loses interest)

She's not a big fan (yet...?!) of classic fantasy tropes, i.e. wizards and hobbits, so I just ran with what I know she loves - namely the video game Untitled Goose Game.

And since we've played that game more than it deserves, sketching a map that resembles the same layout wasn't so hard (the LAYOUT, not graphics - I still draw like crap). Here's the map:

So if you've played the game I hope you recognise the starting point at the lower left part of the map (indicated by the crude X). I took some liberty with the water (e.g. the thing that looks like a snake in the picture, that's swallowed something big) because I wanted it to be a bigger challenge than in the game (i.e. deeper and with more interaction).

The farmer is still there in the centre, with the gate and everything, but the houses are new.

We made a quick character sheet:

Since Swedish seems to be not as widespread as I'd like, the attributes are named from top to bottom:

• NAME (the name "måse" roughly translates to "goosy" or something, as in "the goose goosy")
• BEAK
• WINGS
• QUICK

All attributes were rolled using d20 + d10 (I believe, we just grabbed two dice). Checks are roll-under with the same dice.

The boxes to the right are inventory slots, and the small number inside the slot indicates where on the map the item was found. Måse currently holds (going from top-left): a fork, a sausage, paper tissues (e.g. Kleenex), a bag of crisps (I think - although Måse ate it halfway through the game which explains why it is slightly erased in the image), two zucchini (nicked from the farmer of course), and half a sausage.

We decided that the inventory slots defined what the goose could hold under its wings without dropping anything.

Oh, and on the back of the map we had zoomed in view of the stuff found at various sites (almost like an old Sierra game):

 

So for example, at site 1 (located at the bridge just across the water from the starting point), there were cutlery and a necklace with something shiny, which I expected her to grab.

So she took the fork, of course.

All in all, a fun session. I believe she enjoyed the exploration part the most; coming to a new place and asking what Måse found there, e.g. having me turn the map over and draw out some objects.

She wanted me to continue the map further "north" for future games, so I guess I'll have to do that soon.

HONK HONK.

Licker ghost

A licker ghost is a materialised ghost that casually walks around dungeon halls, picking up things at random, and licking them.

Their gait is pretty much like that of Liam Gallagher, a famous bard who may or may not exist in your home campaign.

It's not hostile but will scoff at anyone trying to get in its way - in its own, strange language.

Their tongue - extra stretchy - is actually not part of the licker ghost. In fact, large, parasitic slugs of various kinds have been known to take residence inside the ghost, as a mean to travel around the dungeon quicker. Most of these slugs are poisonous to various degrees, so try to not get licked at.

Some scholars claim that in certain extreme cases, the mouth of a licker ghost is actually a dimensional portal, and the "tongue" is the limb of an horrendous entity located at the far corners of space, where all light have gone out, and fleets of untold horrors are searching for a new home.

On the other hand, why would one believe scholars studying a ghost that walks like Liam Gallagher?

 

 

 

Well of Future Skydropped Things

Somewhere in a forest, in the middle of a ring of mossy stones, there's a crudely built well, in which people have been dropping things for centuries.

Staring into the well you'll only be greeted by darkness.

For it is not a normal well, but rather a hole into the undetermined future.

When you drop something into the well, it will disappear into the darkness - only to be dropped on you from high above in the next 3d6 days.

It will land 1d6-1 meters from your current position (e.g. zero means ON you).

The well is roughly one meter across.

Jumping into the well yourself will mean one of several things:

• Worst case: you'll die of starvation before reappearing in reality again
• Best case: you'll drop from high above the next day, hopefully NOT landing on any rock
• Not worst case but not best either: you'll drop the next day, but drop zero meters from yourself, resulting in you falling into the well AGAIN

Spells are fish and caught in the Sea of Opportunity

When a spell is cast and thus exhausted - wherever, whenever - it materializes as a fish in the great Sea of Opportunity.

It's a pretty big sea, probably the size of Vänern.

When a wizard needs to learn new spells, she needs to go fishing in the Sea of Opportunity.

The wizard's staff serves as a fishing rod. All they need to is to tie a line to it; the quality of the line determines the level of the spell.

All fishing wizards are grumpy.

 

 

You are what you eat, and potions are what they say

Potions of invisibility are invisible.

Potions of flying needs to be kept on a leash.

Potions of diminution are really tiny.

Potions of giant strength are REALLY hard to open, dammit!

Potions of invulnerability are impossible to break.

Potions of polymorph (self) looks like a hippopotamus.

My daughter illustrated some potions!

Lonely robot

 

Chill dudes

 

Plum horror

They are very tasty.