Spells are fish and caught in the Sea of Opportunity

When a spell is cast and thus exhausted - wherever, whenever - it materializes as a fish in the great Sea of Opportunity.

It's a pretty big sea, probably the size of Vänern.

When a wizard needs to learn new spells, she needs to go fishing in the Sea of Opportunity.

The wizard's staff serves as a fishing rod. All they need to is to tie a line to it; the quality of the line determines the level of the spell.

All fishing wizards are grumpy.

 

 

Summon something from there

The spell "Summon something from there" lets the spellcaster summon up an entity by pointing with her index finger at something, while uttering the spell's name.

A thin ray, magenta in colour, shoots out from the finger, tracing a perfectly straight line from the finger to whatever it hits first, and what it hits, is what the summoned entity will be entirely based on.

All the pointy-hat attendees at the Great Sorcerous World Faire of the year 148 thought this new spell was the most exciting thing ever, so much in fact that they named it and its inventor Caster and Spell of the Year (it had been a rather bland and dull year, to be honest). All the faire participants clapped their hands and smiled with their wine-soaked lips and teeth, and agreed that this truly was very exciting times to be alive, Gods bless us, everybody!

However, real wizards and sorcerers, i.e. grumpy bastards living in towers as crooked as themselves, pointed out two crucial facts:

1. The caster doesn't know which index finger will be used by the ray; thus was the Boot Imp born
2. The entity is merely based on the object the ray hits; e.g. the caster wanted a iron demon but got a fork variety instead
   

So, after some heated discussions, most real wizards started calling users of the spell for Can't-Be-Arsed-Wizards since they didn't seem to care about what they were actually summoning, and moved on with their lives (that is, locked the front door and continued being grumpy in solitude).

That said, it still was a fairly popular spell for a couple of years, until it reached a turning point in the year 173 when the (up to that point) great wizard Salphourza the Askewed had promised her king that no army was needed to fight off the invading forces that were approaching the castle; the great wizard and her trusty finger would save the kingdom! She bravely walked out on her own to meet the invaders on the field outside the castle, and with a firm voice she cried out: "YOU'VE TRAVELLED FAR, BAZGHUR THE BALD, BUT HERE YOUR JOURNEY ENDS. TURN BACK, OR FACE THE UNBELIEVABLE COSMIC HORROR FROM THE FARTHEST AND COLDEST REACHES OF THE DARK AND DEAD STARS!"

She then pointed her index finger in an overly dramatic posture straight up into the sky, uttered the spell name as loud as she could, and watched the magenta ray shoot out from her finger in a straight line into the sky; further...and further...and further...and further... The ray seemed to never end.

After a while Bazghur the Bald and his invading army grew tired of waiting, so they just rode past the wizard and took the city quite easily, leaving the poor wizard seemingly stuck in place, because that was the third crucial fact about the spell that real wizards had discovered; the caster can't move as long as the ray is out.

Esoteric programming languages as spells and vice versa

An esoteric programming language is a programming language that makes everything harder by design, either as a proof of concept, or just as art.

Take Whitespace for instance, which only consists of white spaces (tab, space, and line feeds), or Piet that uses bitmaps for its input. Extremely impractical, but still; people invent it, and people will use it.

What if spells were that way? I mean, everyone and their dog knows that a wizard must study tomes and prepare spells and rest well and wave their hands and utter incantations with a stern look to cast them - one would assume that that's the most practical way of learning and using spells, because everyone's doing that.

But what if there were free spirited wizards, talented but bored beyond any reasonable means, that invented harder ways of learning the same old spells? Oh you learned magic missile from a tome? I learned it by treating the white space on the page as a labyrinth and forced myself to solve it in less than fifteen seconds.

Or take the esoteric programming language Shakespeare, were everything must be formatted as plays. What if it took the wizard an entire evening in a theatre, with full cast and audience, to learn a simple spell? Or even cast it? Having the number of attendees impact the power of the spell? Or even have the spell being delayed until the first review is in, and if the reviews are positive, the spell succeeds, otherwise it backfires. Slow cooking.

One might say, my players won't use that, that's impractical. But there are lots of non-player characters in a game world, why not make one of them be an esoteric bored wizard that makes things harder for herself, not because she has to, but because she can.

Sunday silly idea: using Telephone Pictionary Game as spell research

Have you played Telephone Pictionary Game? I can't remember if I've had, but the gist of it is basically:

1. Write a secret message/sentence on a piece of a paper
2. Pass it to someone else
3. They now have to draw it
4. When they're done, they pass it to the next person, who interprets the picture into words
5. Repeat 2

(The original game makes you construct small booklets and what not, but you get the idea.)

What if you used this idea for spell research?

Let's say your average player Börje Bajskorv wants to research a new spell for his character. He writes down the complete spell description - intent, usage, whatever, even a preferred spell name - on a piece of paper, and passes it on to another player/DM.

They now have to illustrate it on another (blank) piece of paper. When they're done, they pass the illustration on to another player, who interprets the picture into words.

The new spell interpretation is then passed on to yet another player (or DM), and so on, until it finally lands in the hands of the original spell researcher as a written interpretation - and that is the final spell.

You could probably make it so that spell level is dependent on how many times the spell needs to be passed along (e.g. alternating between being drawn/interpreted).

This is a completely untested idea, so I assume it works flawlessly!

Spells take up inventory space

Just a short and untested idea that's probably been hashed before, but:

Instead of keeping a separate record of what spells that are memorized, make them take up inventory space/weight equal to their level.

So if you're tracking inventory space in a grid system: level 1 spells takes up one space, level 2 spells takes up two, and so on. Or if you're counting weight, make their level equal to some logical unit like pounds.


And to end this post, here's another picture of two wizards arguing:

Daisy chaining spells and attacks

This is a silly and untested idea.

But what if player's could build up to some grand finale, some kind of über powerful finishing move, but daisy chaining their spells? Maybe there's some kind of power meter, a gauge, that builds up a little bit, for every successful chain?

And how do you daisy chain spells?

Well I'm thinking, one way to do it would be to cast a spell that starts with the letter that the last cast spell ended with.

For instance: FIREBALL => LIGHT => TELEKINESIS

Each chain builds up that gauge a bit - or maybe each chain adds that spell to some bucket, that releases them all at once, when the proper word is pronounced, or decided upon, or when the chain is broken. Or record each spell level, and treat the sum as a bonus to the last spell cast that breaks the chain.

And to end this post, here's a picture of two wizards arguing:

Spells run through Google Translate a couple of times

1. Go to https://www.d20srd.org/indexes/spells.htm
2. Copy all spells you want - I just used those under "A" because this is a silly method and I don't want to waste my time
3. Go to https://translate.google.com
4. Paste them into the left textbox, pick "Identify language" (or whatever it's called in your browser) for the left one always
5. Choose a language you can't pronounce properly in the right selection box, translate
6. Copy the translated text and paste it into the left textbox, having Google auto-identify it
7. Repeat step 5-6 a number of times
8. Lastly, translate it into English
9. Tada

Well, in my head I pictured bullet item 9 to be more exciting than it was - probably because Google always translates to English as a middleware-language every time (or so I imagine) - but my odyssey through Finnish, Chinese, Russian, Zulu, Thai, Norwegian at least produced some interesting new spell names:

• Call the police
• Prepare weapons
• Self-correction
• Dweomer review
• Animal condition
• Let him die
• Life Guard
• Anti-dynamic field
• Hat
• Implant-resistant housing
• Aachen's eyes
• Bend lock
• Mark Oken
• Mysterious sight
• Arcane Eye, the biggest
• Compensation
• Preview
• Get up

Who are Aachen and Mark Oken? Mark Oken sounds like a 90s techno DJ from the Netherlands.

The Compleat Spell Book of Metals

THE BAD IN EACH OTHER
Turns the caster and whoever she is conversing with at the moment into best friends, for the rest of the afternoon. They will feel all "IT'S US AGAINST THE WORLD MAN!".

For any outsider, they will just look like two drunks.


GRAVEYARD
Old nursery rhyme. Reverses life status for all those in range equal to caster's level measured in some nice way that makes it turn into a circle like radius thing found in old books about mathematics. In other words - all living humans caught in the radius fall down dead, while their soul seeks out the nearest dead body found in the ground in the same radius, and if found, possess it, raising it from the grave. If no dead body is found, the soul turns into a wight and will haunt the place for the rest of the afternoon.


CAUGHT A LONG WIND
Only deceased wizards are able to cast this spell, right after their last breath. It's basically a fart made up of all spell residue that slips out. It will travel the countryside for a whole afternoon before disappearing.


HOW COME YOU NEVER GO THERE
Truth spell; target will speak truthfully about why she never visits a specific place. If place asked about is unknown, target will get up instantly to seek out a similar place for the rest of the afternoon.


A COMMOTION
Cast upon any inanimate object, and it will start communicating (to the best of its ability). It will not answer questions - you've basically giving something that cannot communicate the ability to do so, and man does it want to tell you about really important things right now!

(Most scholars are certain this spell is misspelled, or a short form for "a communicative motion".)

It will do this for the rest of the afternoon.


THE CIRCLE MARRIED THE LINE
Positions the sun at horizon line, making it instantly sunrise or sunset (determined randomly by the GM by counting the number of birds outside her window). This phenomenon will last for what feels like an afternoon, after which the sun will return to its previous position.


BITTERSWEET MELODIES
Cast upon any wizard, and that wizard's spells will all have pros and cons for the rest of the afternoon. That is, for instance, if a healing spell is cast by that said wizard, it will have some negative effect as well (and vice versa), proportionally to the level of spell just cast.


ANTI-PIONEER
Depending on caster's level, may make a whole town pack it all up, reversing "civilization", giving back the earth to Mother Nature, so to speak. Houses will be carefully taken down, plank by plank; roads will be undug; everything must be restored to "before".

If cast on something not "civilized", several earth golems will rise, starting to undo what Mother Nature has done to this little patch of the forest (or glade), turning it back another thousand years.

If cast in the afternoon, nothing special will happen.

If cast on an afternoon, it turns into lunch.


UNDISCOVERED FIRST
A narrow tower rises from the ground - or water! or lava! or whatever! - climbing, climbing towards the sky, rumbling like madmen beating a thousand drums just enough off-beat, causing a shadow blacker than a dark night in the middle of the universe, to be cast like a pillar itself onto the ground, and anyone caught within that horrific dark shade, will instantly forget whatever first thought they had that day!

(It's a really cumbersome spell just to have people forget things. Most scholars nowadays agree that this spell is overly complicated, not to mention all those tall, narrow towers that get left behind here and there, loitering the countryside like a giant's used toothpicks. And besides, the effect only lasts for an afternoon.)


CICADAS AND GULLS
It's a fly spell, basically, but with an additional side effect that is permant (roll to randomly determine):

1. Caster's eyes grow further apart
2. Caster can't lower her voice
3. Caster gains a small, transparent wing, anywhere
4. Caster gains a feathered wing, anywhere
5. Caster's mouth turns into a beak
6. Caster shrinks to half size

If cast in the afternoon, the flying wizard will always spot a ongoing conflict from her view above.


COMFORT ME
Cast upon any caster to make her healing spells turn targets into bitter enemies, making them not wanting any more help from that caster until the next afternoon.


GET IT WRONG, GET IT RIGHT
A two-split spell. When cast, the wizard determines if the target will get her next thing right or wrong, whatever endevour that may be, large as small, but the endevour must be taking place the coming afternoon.


WOE BE
Makes the target fall in love with a bard. The bard will return this love only in letters, ending each with "Meet me by <SOME PLACE OFF BUT NOT TOO REMOTELY> this afternoon, dearest! This time surely I will come!"

Two angry counterspells

YEAH WELL THAT MAY BE SO BUT HOW ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU...?
Doesn't counter. You take full damage, but upon impact you spontaneously cast a spell back starting with the same letter as the incoming spell, because yeah well my memory may be foggy but remember that camping trip yeah you do and remember that money I said you could keep and...

Doesn't matter if you can't cast spells, a spell will fire off anyway, because retaliating isn't about details, it's about having the last word! Yeah it is! Is too! Yeah well that may be so but how about the time...


YEAH I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
First time it is cast, it doesn't actually counter the incoming spell - you just face that damage full on.

But if you're targeted a second time with the same spell, you only take half damage, because yeah I like heard you the first time dimwit, like, oh my lord, are you a broken record or just a broken soul?

And if you're targeted a third time, only a third, and so on.

Additionally, after the first time, roll a d6. On a 6, the incoming spell splits and bounces back and does the same damage amount as it just did to you (half, third etc.), like WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THIS I SAID I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME LIKE OH MY GOD CALL SOMEONE.

The OTHER spell components

You all know Verbal, Somatic and Material. Meet their cousins:

1. Mansplaining: you must spend 1d4 rounds explaining to the spell's target IN DETAIL everything there is to know about the spell; WHO researched it first, WHEN, WHY, HOW MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS are casting it, the list of OTHER SPELLS you considered casting before settling on this one, how many TIMES you've cast this spell, and why WOMEN can't cast it properly even though they surely will TRY to
2. Staging: you must spend 1d6 rounds preparing and rehearsing the spell. EVERYONE - friend or foe - needs to be involved, but remember this: YOU are the director, the grand visionary, the only one who TRULY knows how the spell will play out. Of COURSE there will be an audience at opening night (another 2d20 rounds spent looking for people). Great, you all wait here will I go and break down in my trailer
3. Vegan: this fireball you just cast at me, it doesn't quite...well you know, it looks like a fireball, but there's something...like, here...something about the texture...yeah yeah it's hurting all right, but it's not...the heat is not like anything I've...you don't say...no I did not know about unethical heat extraction of the multiverse...I will consider that in my next life

The Compleat Spell Book of A Moon Shaped Pool

BURN THE WITCH
The caster must first decide on a target, a person.

The components of this spell includes a tavern, a table and a bucket of cow blood. The caster must whisper the spell into the bucket and then paint a cross onto the door of the house of the unknowing target. The paint will fade immediately, sucked up by the wood. Leave some blood in the bucket.

During the next night, the caster must start some loose talk around a table in a tavern, spreading rumours of said target.

Next time the sun sets, the witch known as Burn will rise from the bucket, clad in dripping red, and obey the caster until sun rises again (treat as powerful magic-user). Burn will then return to the bucket and transform into cow blood again.

This procedure will repeat forever as long as the bucket is whole, and the target lives, with the exception that Burn will not obey the caster the following nights, but she may act friendly towards him/her (or at least give the impression that she is still friendly).

The target will be in a paralysed state when Burn roams, but will share memories with her each time she returns to the bucket.

Burn hates flowers.

The spell Identikit is a side-effect of casting this spell.


DAYDREAMING
Makes the target believe it's night time when they're awake, and that they're dreaming during the day. That is, when they're sleeping, they think they're awake and that's night all the time, and when they're awake, they think they are dreaming about the day.

It's a rather complicated spell, don't use it, the wizard who came up with this spell did a crappy job writing it down, probably daydreaming about something else.


DECKS DARK
Camouflages a boat, but only during the night.

When sun rises, the boat is black as obsidian, and the surface feels artificial. Everyone who's heard of this spell (sailors most likely) knows you did something naughty last night, like getting past someone.

The boat has also turned into a otherworldly beacon for star sailing entities commonly called Ostoch Tomatmacka. They like brains, and not in the intellectual way.


DESERT ISLAND DISK
Works just like Tenser's Floating Disk, only you need to target a small island. The island will take flight and follow you, trying to land on top of you, unless you successfully give the impression of not knowing it is there.


FUL STOP
Counterspell.

May only be cast as a reaction when someone targets you with a spell.

You may put one punctuation per your character level anywhere in the spell's name or description to alter its effect.


GLASS EYES
Two glass eyes will come rolling, and will follow you around. Forever.

Breaking a glass eye (they are pretty fragile, so stepping on them is sufficient) will release a random spell at a random target - and summon two new glass eyes, who also will follow you around.


IDENTIKIT
Prerequisite: the witch Burn must have been summoned, but not necessarily but the caster of this spell

3d8 tiny (doll sized) humanoids will spring forth from whereever, most likely coming running over a hill.

Their faces are blank, and they're out stealing facial expressions from anything with a face (animals included); an eye there, an ear here, a moustache perhaps. Don't forget the eyebrows.

They're always running.

When all dolls have faces, they will go looking for the witch Burn, whom they will try to defeat with their bare hands. Burn will call for aid from whoever summoned her in the first place (using magic charms).

Where a doll dies, a red poppy will blossom the next day.


THE NUMBERS
You may use any number on your character sheet instead of the result of a dice roll (even after rolling), but that property on the sheet must be treated as its lowest score until next session (e.g. next time your gaming group gets together and play).

For instance, failing a dice roll, you cast this spell and decide to use your strength score instead (succeeding the roll, hopefully). But your strength is now 1 until next gaming session.


PRESENT TENSE
All your senses goes straight up to eleven, your muscles working overtime, your brain is rearranging itself into a matrix of solutions, your eyes are almost popping out so that they can get a nice 360 degree field of view.

For a minute, all your attributes are maxed out. If you need to roll a die, pick the largest one found on the table. You shout when you whisper, and scream when you talk.

When the minute has passed, you revert back to your own self. But all this tension that surrounded you for a short while has left a gaping, sucking vacuum that needs to be filled right now - and it will pull something from the future into the present to balance it all out.

Roll on this table to determine how far into the future the thing is from, along with special qualities (either 1d6 once and read across, or roll twice and read once from each column):

#	How far	Special
1	1 minute	Person, connected to current quest, friendly
2	1 year	Person, connected to current quest, hostile
3	100 years	Great ruler, related to one PC, upset
4	2k years	Unknown monster, related to one PC
5	100k years	Any player's former dead character (resurrected in the future), asking about a whale
6	2 hours from before the universe collapses	An almost dead whale, carved with runes

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SAILOR RICH MAN POOR MAN BEGGAR MAN THIEF
Cast upon any reasonable sized hole to turn it into a one-way portal.

To determine where it leads to, roll 1d8 on the following table and use your imagination to fit the theme (some suggestions provided):

1. TINKER: blacksmith; armoury
2. TAILOR: fancy shop
3. SOLDIER: garrison; city under siege
4. SAILOR: port (in a fish barrel); aboard a vessel far away from land
5. RICH MAN: underneath a noble person's bed
6. POOR MAN: outhouse next to a pub; almshouse
7. BEGGER MAN: next to a person begging for their life
8. THIEF: prison cell; hideout; tax collector's office

TRUE LOVE WAITS
This spell is actually misspelled; it's true form is TRUE LOVE WEIGHTS (it was transcribed by a drunkard).

In this true form, it will decide - in pounds - how much affection a person has for you.

Which is a pretty boring spell, so it was actually intentionally misheard and mistranslated by another drunkard (her sister, actually) into TRUE LOVE WIGHTS. In this form, several undead entities fly around and cast charms on random people, revealing their innermost desire as a clear symbol above their head.

Which is a pretty chaotic spell, so a third drunkard (their cousin) rewrote it completely into GRUE LOVE BAITS, which just turns people into big kebab skewers.

Spells are individuals - or more like fish maybe

Spells are individuals, meaning there are only one of each in the whole wide world.

The witch who memorized read magic is the only one capable of casting that - until she does, after which the spell is free for all to catch.

You see, you don't put your nose in a musty old tome and memorize a spell - you must catch them.

It's like fishing.

You bait and you wait. But where do free spells roam? Where should you go? It's mostly all in the name of the spell, for example:

• Feather fall: hen runs
• Summon monster: broken toys
• Sleep: beds
• Web: old cellars
• Power word kill: executioner swords
• Invisibility: beggar's clothes

You catch object-bound spells (i.e. sleep, invisibility) by touching the object while pronouncing the spell's name (5% risk of also casting it), while location-bound spells (i.e. web, feather fall) are caught while spending the night in/at/close by the area.

The level of the spell dictates how hard it is to catch.

When you cast a spell, it first does its thing, after which it quickly runs out into the world again to seek shelter. It will not necessarily bind to the same object again.

Be wary of cantrips, by the way. They are so gullible that they'll gladly leave a wizard's mind for another if you just think about the spell's favourite object (and are close enough).

Cure disease, or each cleric his own drug

Whenever cure/remove disease is cast, the target must make a CON-save.

If failed, the disease became (or was already) resistant to this particular cleric/normal person's version of cure/remove disease. The diseased individual still suffers from the disease, and may only be cured by another person but this time with a penalty (+1/-1 or similar). The penalty accumulates.

(Antibiotic resistance is serious problem, people!)

Tell everybody to bring physical spell books

Some of us still use CDs. Or even LPs. Or musicassettes.

Why not use them as spell books?

• Track number is spell level
• Track name is spell name (obviously)
• The A-side contains the hits; good spells that doesn't take too long to cast or memorize, but their effect will fade over time
• The B-side will take longer to memorize, and their immediate effect on you (or the spell target) will not be obvious at first (e.g. there may be additional side-effects). It will take time to get used to these spells, and there will always be wizards claiming these to be their favourites
• Track length tells us its components (minute field), and range (seconds):
• Components (minutes):
• 0-1: Verbal (singing)
• 2: Verbal (growling)
• 3: Somatic (fine dancing, ballet)
• 4: Somatic (krumping)
• 5: Material (food)
• 6: Material (steel)
• 7 and above: combine the ones above in any way such as their sum equals the track length in minutes, for instance 5 (Food)+2 (Growl) = 7 minutes
• Range (seconds):
• 00-19: Personal
• 20-29: Touch
• 30-49: Earshot
• 50-58: Eye sight
• 59: Thought (if met in person less than an hour ago)

If the spell effect - drawn from the name of the spell (e.g. song title) - isn't obvious, it's up to the casting player to make up its effect to the GM in a convincing way. If you don't get your desired effect, add a undesirable side-effect to the spell (e.g. caster's nose grows each successful casting) and keep going. Or switch CD.

The Compleat Spell Book of The Blue Album

MY NAME IS JONAS
The target doesn't recognize you, even if you've previously met. More so, they won't be able to help you before you've stated your problem to at least three different people, all residing in different buildings.

Cast upon yourself to cause amnesia.


NO ONE ELSE
1st to 7th level: one additional target/every odd level
8th level: can instead specify an area up to 20 feet radius

The target(s) can't be affected by magical means besides spells cast by you. This also means any spells cast upon the target(s)/area immediately affects you.


THE WORLD HAS TURNED AND LEFT ME HERE
Spell level: 20

Also known as the reversed-levitation spell, or cosmic-disruption spell. The caster causes the planet s/he stands on to quickly change its course (randomly) through the universe, and cut off the caster from the planets gravitational pull (the planet actually forgets about this body).

As the planet keeps going on its new course, the caster remains in this fixed place, but to the naked eye it will look like this person drifts away into the sky, and further more, into space.


BUDDY HOLLY
Gates in a friendly golem named Holly, who will aid the caster for the next 160 seconds.
The golem suffers from myopia and needs to stand extremely close to its targets to successfully attack.


UNDONE - THE SWEATER SONG
Cast upon a target currently astral travelling to unravel their silver chord into multiple fibres. The target is now less vulnerable to the old hey-let's-cut-this-chord-and-kill-him-while-astral-projected, as long as at least one fibre is intact.

On the other hand, there's a risk a fibre snaps off and attaches to someone/something else - projecting in properties of the attached object into the astral walker.


SURF WAX AMERICA
Cuts travel time in half when seafaring.
If cast in a tavern, turns all ale into seawater.
If cast upon an incoming wave, turns it into a thousand pound keg,


SAY IT AIN'T SO
Forces the target to rephrase its last stated fact, rendering it false in a compelling way.


IN THE GARAGE
Sends targeted non-living things away to the nearest available space (in this world/plane).
When cast, roll and see where it ends up (the caster knows the exact spot after casting):

1. In the nearest dragon's lair
2. In a locked room at the last tavern visited
3. In the cavity of a giant's tooth (a really big giant)
4. Ten metres in front of the caster
5. At the bottom of the last lake crossed
6. 100 metres up in the air, seemingly stuck but actually falling at a rate of 1 meter/day

HOLIDAY

Just by sheer memorization of this spell, a stretch of land (most likely a road) in a strange and distant land will render the wizard invincible when s/he walks there.

The area is always eight metres wide, and as long as the caster's level in metres. On that road s/he will never die.

ONLY IN DREAMS

Conjures a tiny, tiny sprite parasite, that burrows into the victim's bone and marrow. They're caries to your skeleton.

The only way to rid one's body of them is to confront them in a dream. In these dreams, the sprite is always of human size, dressed in a gown, and demands a dance - after which a fight to the death is inevitable.

A bunch of random, unrelated things

Parasol parasites; lives of pretty things such as pretty faces and intelligence. The handle is cursed, forcing the wearer to always carry it around. Face slowly disappears (hair, skin, muscles, and so on).

Wearer can live on even if it's just the skull left, as long as the parasol is carried around.

The antibard is a person who destroys music through aerial sorcery.

He or she hates all things rhythmical, sung, or hummed. And dancing. Especially dancing.

Abilities

Touching a wooden instrument for at least ten seconds will make it do one of the following:

1. Bend (broken)
2. Detune horrible (but still functional)
3. Render it mute (the instrument's been cursed; still functional, only completely silent)
4. Nothing

Spells

Semibreve rest

Casting time: Immediately

Targets: Anyone about to cast a spell

This spell interrupts the targeted sorcerer by inserting a whole rest in the spell uttering, pushing it back to the next round. The spell isn't lost, just merely delayed.

Hide muse

Casting time: 1 round

Targets: Other bards

Until the targeted bard makes a successful CHA-save to realize that inspiration comes through hard work and not from above, s/he will not be able to utilize any musical spells to inspire others.

Katakk is a race of avian humanoids found in leaf forests. They are a friendly bunch (except when they're waging war against stupid neighbours), living in huge nests on the ground (the size of a regular tavern).

Due to a malformation in their left leg, they walk around looking like they're about to kick someone in the face.

Greeters are a horrible manifestation of the frustration of hosting a party unwillingly and still being a good host.

They pop up out of nowhere, right in front of your face, and let out a terrible shriek (actually meaning "Welcome, nice to see you" in their own wicked tongue) - only to disappear the next second.

Mostly found in haunted mansions. They are harmless, unless you overstay your welcome.

Djantas; half djinn, half Santa (also known as "half-arsed bringer of half-wishes").

Only found in century old bottles of julmust, these spirits offers a wish to whoever freed them. It then gift wrap the wish and flies away to the nearest settlement, to deliver the wonderful gift to anyone looking like they'd need a present.

Note on wish fulfilment: due to their half-nature, wishes are always only half fulfilled, e.g. a wish for resurrection only brings a person halfway back to life (rendering them undead).

A collect of uneven, pseudogeomorphs:

(UPDATE 2015-01-01: I made an interactive version of it here: morphs.pushingcows.se)

Some spells

Trigger
You force the target to release a memorized spell immediately, equal to half your level (rounded up).
If the target doesn't have any spells of that level memorized, step down one level (and so on).
To determine which spell to release, look at the first letter of your character's name (e.g. if your character's name is "Göstaheim", find the spell that starts with the letter g).
If there's no match, continue with the next letter (and so on).
If the spell needs a target, roll 1d6: even numbers is you, odd is the caster himself.


Glue
Same procedure as above, only the randomly determined spell is glued to the next spell the targeted wizard casts (e.g. it will be cast at the same time).
Lasts an hour.


Embodiment
The next spell the targeted wizard cast will manifest itself as a naked humanoid, armed with a weapon (see table below). It's possible to fight this form (or even outrun it). If it manage to hug its target, the spell's effect takes place as usual. The humanoid have initiative and should be treated as a NPC, but it will only live to touch its target.

Type of  weapon is based on the spell's level:

1. Club
2. Broken dagger
3. Rusty sword
4. Whip
5. A crude woodcutter's axe
6. Spiked shield
7. A scythe, blade broken
8. Spike club, black
9. Nothing

The humanoid form is affected in some ways by the spell it represents: engulfed in flames when dealing with harmful spells; healing spells turn the body into an aquarium; druid spells make the humanoid move slower and heavier, and so on.

The Amalgamater

The Amalgamater

The Amalgamater is a magic-user without spells of her own. She may only learn spells by combining them on the fly in the heat of battle.

Starting at second level, the Amalgamater can on her turn combine the last two spells cast in an encounter. She can memorize an amount of spells equal to one less than her level.

When trying to a learn a combined spell, throw 2d6 (one for each of the last two spells cast).

• If both die show the same number, the Amalgamatar may choose in which order to pronounce the spell names, and the conjunction between (from the table below) freely
  
  
• Otherwise: look up the sum of the two dice in the table below to find the conjunction. The final combined spell name is the spell name of the lowest dice, the conjunction, and then the spell name of the other die.

Every time she amalgamates (combines), she has to memorize the new spell, meaning she must forget any currently in store.
After casting a memorized spell, it is gone forever.


Conjunction table:
2-3. While
4-6. In
7-9. Unless
10-12. Nor


Example 1:
The Amalgamater decides to learn a new spell. The last two spells cast in the encounter are Cure light wounds and Light.

She throws two dice, resulting in a 2 and a 5. Not the same number, so she looks up their sum in the conjunction table (seven = "Unless"), and starts with the lowest die to learn the new spell "Cure light wounds unless light".

The DM may interpret this in many different ways, but one may be that wounds may only be healed if the environment is properly lit (or even in bright sunlight). Another possibility is that to in order to heal a wound, the Amalgamater must burn it first.


Example 2:
This time, the last two spells were Magic missile and Sleep.

She throws the dice, and gets snake eyes (two ones). But, since they share the same number, the Amalgamater may choose freely from the conjunction table, and even the order of the spell names.

She decides on while, and starts with Sleep: "Sleep while magic missile" (because the other form would mean she would shoot bolts of magic every time it was time to rest). Now she just fires away a missile, and then falls asleep.

Arabian Nights Spell List

The illustration list from The Arabian nights' entertainments makes for a good spell list. Maybe a bit harder to interpret, but hey, science put imagination in your brain for a reason!

Source: The Internet Archive

The Compleat Spell Book of The Great Escape

STEREOTYPES
Increases the prominent attribute of the target (Strength for the strong, Intelligence for the smart, etc.).
Unfortunately, will also decrease another attribute which isn't viewed as characteristic of the target (Intelligence for the strong, etc.).


COUNTRY HOUSE
Grants the target a bonus when fighting in the country side, although he still got a fog in his chest so he needs a lot of rest.


BEST DAYS
Target finds everything pleasant and nice, when in fact s/he (along the rest of the adventuring party) has been teleported to the bizarre, vertical 31-story Labyrinth of the Misaligned Trellick, an old knocked over tower.


CHARMLESS MAN
Target is immune to all types of charms, and radiates an aura that makes everyone in the direct vicinity immune as well.


FADE AWAY
A curse that will haunt the target for some time. He or she will constantly meet people from the same background, and while enjoyable, will eventually wither away unless the curse is broken.


TOP MAN
Conjures an annoying golem in fashionable clothes. Given a rug, the golem takes flight.


THE UNIVERSAL
Target dissolves and becomes part of everything in the current room for a few minutes, allowing him or her to for example eavesdrop without the need to hide.
Beware: doing this outside will make the target insane, since s/he will be part of of every single part of the Universe.


MR. ROBINSONS' QUANGO
Pros: Target is granted access to one larger organisation, with all its benefits and enemies
Cons: It's most likely a very boring organisation.


HE THOUGHT OF CARS
Target will have nightmares the following two nights. Both involves travelling with unknown, strange vessels of which the second can travel through the air.
Worst part is: no one will want to travel along.


IT COULD BE YOU
Makes target more vulnerable to charm spells, through empty promises about easy money.
Somatic component: caster repeatable draws the target's lucky number in the air.


ERNOLD SAME
Target will repeat everything he or she did yesterday, like if it was that day again. Will do this without any complaints or afterthoughts.


GLOBE ALONE
Target can no longer see people below his own presumed social class.


DAN ABNORMAL
Like mirror image, but the clone is sillier.


ENTERTAIN ME
Curses the target to long for something else, several days away. All actions are at a penalty, unless some sort of alcohol is consumed, which takes away some of the blues.


YUKO & HIRO
Summons two small spirits that will obey the caster for six minutes. When the seventh minute comes, they will cease with whatever they are doing, kiss each other and then disappear.