The Compleat Spell Book of The Great Escape

STEREOTYPES
Increases the prominent attribute of the target (Strength for the strong, Intelligence for the smart, etc.).
Unfortunately, will also decrease another attribute which isn't viewed as characteristic of the target (Intelligence for the strong, etc.).


COUNTRY HOUSE
Grants the target a bonus when fighting in the country side, although he still got a fog in his chest so he needs a lot of rest.


BEST DAYS
Target finds everything pleasant and nice, when in fact s/he (along the rest of the adventuring party) has been teleported to the bizarre, vertical 31-story Labyrinth of the Misaligned Trellick, an old knocked over tower.


CHARMLESS MAN
Target is immune to all types of charms, and radiates an aura that makes everyone in the direct vicinity immune as well.


FADE AWAY
A curse that will haunt the target for some time. He or she will constantly meet people from the same background, and while enjoyable, will eventually wither away unless the curse is broken.


TOP MAN
Conjures an annoying golem in fashionable clothes. Given a rug, the golem takes flight.


THE UNIVERSAL
Target dissolves and becomes part of everything in the current room for a few minutes, allowing him or her to for example eavesdrop without the need to hide.
Beware: doing this outside will make the target insane, since s/he will be part of of every single part of the Universe.


MR. ROBINSONS' QUANGO
Pros: Target is granted access to one larger organisation, with all its benefits and enemies
Cons: It's most likely a very boring organisation.


HE THOUGHT OF CARS
Target will have nightmares the following two nights. Both involves travelling with unknown, strange vessels of which the second can travel through the air.
Worst part is: no one will want to travel along.


IT COULD BE YOU
Makes target more vulnerable to charm spells, through empty promises about easy money.
Somatic component: caster repeatable draws the target's lucky number in the air.


ERNOLD SAME
Target will repeat everything he or she did yesterday, like if it was that day again. Will do this without any complaints or afterthoughts.


GLOBE ALONE
Target can no longer see people below his own presumed social class.


DAN ABNORMAL
Like mirror image, but the clone is sillier.


ENTERTAIN ME
Curses the target to long for something else, several days away. All actions are at a penalty, unless some sort of alcohol is consumed, which takes away some of the blues.


YUKO & HIRO
Summons two small spirits that will obey the caster for six minutes. When the seventh minute comes, they will cease with whatever they are doing, kiss each other and then disappear.

7 devils

A spell of summoning tiny devils from below (or above, if you're already down there).

Roll 7d6, one for each devil.

Die results:
1. Either this die failed a summoning (nothing happens), or you've summoned fourth their master as well (see more further down)
2-3. Wicked devil (red)
4. Chaotic devil (slowly changes skin hue in pulses, going through the colours of the rainbow)
5-6. Nice devil (purple)

Effects:

• Wicked and nice devils will begin wrestling immediately, trying to push each other through the ground.
• Nice devils will perform one simple task before disappearing, as long as there are no wicked ones in sight
• Wicked ones will only taunt and bother anyone in their vicinity
• All devils will disappear after a few minutes

Chaotic devils are further divided into:

1. Greedy: flies around, trying to eat anything shiny until they're too heavy to lift from the ground.
2. Sleepy: flies up in the air, yawns, and falls to the ground sleeping. Wakes up, and repeats the procedure.
3. Paranoid: hides behind each other. Hates to be seen.
4. Crazy about clothing: wants to wear any piece of garment it lays its eyes on, even if it's already being worn
5. Imitating: repeats what others are saying, even if it doesn't understand the language. May also occasionally mimic gestures.
6. Identity crisis: believes it's a...
1. Cat
2. Bird
3. Furniture
4. Sunbeam
5. Someone's shadow
6. Close relative to one of the players

Alternative for when a summoning die shows a one:
Instead of indicating a failed summoning, you've actually brought fourth a big, horned devil. It will take control of the other small devils, and attack immediately.

The Compleat Spell Book of Surfer Rosa

BONE MACHINE
At the touch of the caster, the bones of the affected person begins to move in strange patterns, unsettling and unfamiliar for most people.
This strange dance lasts for 31 rounds.


BREAK MY BODY
At the touch of the caster, the sorcerer is able to make every bone in the touched person's body disappear.
By some cruel fate, this spell isn't lethal though.


SOMETHING AGAINST YOU
When the sorcerer whispers this spell, he curses a person into believing that everyone he will meet over the next couple of minutes has a grudge against him.


BROKEN FACE
After pulling the earlobe of the desired object two times in a row, the sorcerer may rearrange the victim's face as he wishes for the next 10 seconds.


GIGANTIC
When sorcerers fall in love, bad things are bound to happen. If cursed by this spell, whenever the wizard sees the person s/he's in love with, he or she will grow in size.


RIVER EUPHRATES
A chanting spell that, when heard, causes anyone who hears it to start looking for a horse.


WHERE IS MY MIND?
When cast, makes the target float through the air as if he or she were under water.
How to cast: the wizard must stand on his head with his feet in the air -and then spin it.


CACTUS
With this spell, the sorcerer is able to send nearby clothes and stick them to a target for a minute.


TONY'S THEME
First, the wizard cast this spell on a group of people (no more than 20, but no less than 10).
Then, the wizard points at whoever he wants them to admire unconditionally. They will even try to chant his name (anyone not knowing the name of the one they're admiring will scream "TO! NY!" instead).


OH MY GOLLY!
The wizard is able to hide a secret message in his next sentence, even though it is spoken out loud.
Anyone meant to hear the actual message will hear it loud and clear.


VAMOS
This spell raises the heartbeat of the wizard. Or maybe it'll teleport the sorcerer to the nearest beach. I don't know, the writing on the page in the spell book is really crazy.


I'M AMAZED
The sorceress conjures three spirits from her past, to tell stories that lacks any moral. Anyone hearing this will be charmed senseless.


BRICK IS RED
At the touch of the sorcerer, the victim's eyes turns to diamonds, coloured pale blue. They're still functional, but most thieves are now more than willingly to pluck them out.

Monster's got the blues (or God is a bard)

Once in a while, the reanimated bones of a skeleton or the rotting corpse of an undead is struck by a distant memory from its past, from before it became what it is today.

In this moment of nostalgia, it is overwhelmed with sad feelings and an urge to release this sudden sadness. A few burst into fight, some are paralysed and frozen in place, but most burst into melancholic singing for some strange reason.

Unless attacked, the undead will complete its singing before returning to whatever it was doing before the memory struck.

There's a 5 % risk the singing will sadden anyone in its direct vicinity (that is listening). The affected person will be unable to act properly up till one minute after the singing ends.
All actions are performed with a penalty due to watery eyes.

The sad song is...

1. ...gibberish words. Babble. But sad.
2. ...the one about the farmer who fell in love with his scarecrow
3. ...about a ghoul who was a fool to fall in love with the dove he just ate from a plate
4. ...one food related word after the other
5. ...about the dragon that ate a bride on her wedding day - over and over again, because they were stuck in time
6. ...about how much it misses its mother
7. ...about the boy who fell in love with the most beautiful person in the world, only to discover it was his own reflection (this is a duet)
8. ...about the decline of a now long gone empire
9. ...filled with words that rhymes with "love"
10. ...about the dead hero who was resurrected by an evil necromancer, to serve as his minion for all eternity

If the undead lacks a tongue (and/or a throat), the song will be sung in silence.

(Image source)

The annual common goblin cold

During the long, cold winter, 1 out of 20 goblins is affected by the annual common goblin cold.

It's a short lived illness, lasting no longer than a a couple of days, during which the goblin besides sneezing will:

• Put on a strange red hat
• Disappear from the goblin village
• And deliver presents

The goblin is struck by a compulsive behaviour, forcing it to hand out gifts whether the receiver wants it or not. It will do this mostly during the dark hours of the day.

The presents are wrapped in:

1. Animal hide
2. Expensive (probably stolen) cloths
3. Used goblin underwear
4. Torn clothes
5. Moss
6. A stained carpet

Unfortunately for the gift receiver, the wrapped present may contain anything the sick goblin finds during his travels, most probably something it steals from any settlements it wanders upon.
In general, the gift most probably contains:

1. A wooden stick
2. Kitchen utensils
3. Goblin underwear
4. A key
5. A leather pouch containing three other things from this list
6. 1d6 coins from another country
7. A toe from a troll
8. Wine with a strange taste of cinnamon
9. A small iron box, locked. A sound can be heard from within.
10. A leather strap with runes on it
11. A bucket
12. Dirt

The condition of the content is:

1-7. Normal
8. Broken/useless
9. The inverse of its obvious usage
10. Out of this world-magical

Although most goblins don't speak the human tongue, it never hurts to say "thank you".

Worunitongon

All worunitongons have four parents.

They can fly, but must look straight up when doing so. Otherwise, they will break their neck.

The horn is hollow and filled with: 1. gems. 2. nothing. 3. black ink. 4. the sound of the ocean.

The sword is dull, rusty and sentient.

The ribs will change colour depending on the worunitongon's current mood or desire. If broken off, they keep shining for another day in that same hue and may be used as portable light.

They communicate by banging their sword against different parts of their body: chest and down are used when talking to friends, horn when talking to authorities, and when they bang their shield you need to start running.

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Cursed by a rutabaga

Every farmer knows about bad soil. It happens to everyone and when it does, you have two options:

1. Burn the crop and starve through the winter
2. Harvest, keep quiet and sell it to them don't-know-better-townsfolk

Bad soil produces living crops, and one of the better known are cursed rutabagas. Their tiny eye and small mouth are near impossible to spot (unless tickled), and since they don't taste all too different, not many will ever notice.

Some of the side effects of eating a meal containing living rutabagas are:

• Invisible private sphere: an invisible field surrounds the person, stretching about one meter around. Disrupting this field by walking through it or just coming to close, will cause the cursed person to (1d6):
  
1. Panic in silence, being unable to concentrate
2. Start sweating, being unable to hold on to anything
3. Look the other way
4. Clear their throat until they go sore and can't speak
5. Wait 30 seconds, and then take one step to the side
6. Start fiddling with their spell book or weapon, until they accidentally hurt themselves (by firing off a random spell or just cut their fingers)
   
   
• Every spell casting is concluded with a few words about the weather. And it's never quite the correct temperature.
  
  
• At the end of a fight, the cursed person says "We must do this again soon."
  
  
• Happily pays taxes and tithes when arriving in new towns.
  
  
• Avoids conflicts at all cost. If forced, consult table above.

Man-Hydras

The disturbing Man-Hydra of the eastern woodlands is the kindest creature you'll ever know. It has thirty-six heads and each one loves to listen to gossip (except the thirty-fifth, because of a hearing problem). They're all vegetarians.

All Man-Hydras lose their heads during fall, to prepare the body for the cold winter (they grow new ones during spring). The heads will fall to the ground, and while most of them doesn't survive the drop, the ones that do are sometimes found by travellers and taken care of.

The head of a Man-Hydra is somewhat larger than a normal human head. To survive, it must be fed on a daily basis.

Neglecting the head or treating it badly is considered very evil by the ones aware of these creatures. Anyone causing a head to die will automatically have a price on their head, and will be hunted.



I carried a watermelon
If taken cared of properly and treated with respect, the head of a Man-Hydra have a wide range of properties that not only lonely people appreciate (besides being good listeners). Some of them are listed below:

• Whispering a few words in the left ear. Later, when the right earlobe is pulled, the words will be repeated so loud there's a chance it will knock anyone in front of the head off their feet.
   
• Kissing it on the mouth will make the head blush. There's a 33 % risk the embarrassment will manifest as scorching heat rays shooting out of its eyes.
   
• Rubbing its cheeks will most often make it burp. The burp is harmless unless the head's been fed meat. In that case, the odour coming out of its mouth is toxic. (Feeding it meat is evil, and it will not forget this.)
   
• If both eyes are covered, the head will start to whistle. The melody charms anyone within hearing range as long as it keeps whistling.
   
• Massage, nose scratching, and hugs are vital for keeping the head happy. An unhappy head will most likely lose all its magical properties.
   
• Covering both its ears will make the head glow. This is because Man-Hydras love to listen, and the glow is a sign of sadness (it tries to attract attention, so someone will come and talk to it). This is considered mean.
   
• Bringing together several heads will make them smile at the sight of each other, and they will radiate an aura that may slightly heal anyone mortally wounded. Beware though, that they will become sad for a full day when separated again.

String demons

Witches, hags and other foul mouthed creatures such as school children, have the inborn ability to summon string demons by chewing on strings and then spitting them out on a hot stove.

The string demon manifests itself by taking control of the wet string, and forms a shape that most resembles the demons true form.

They will obey their master (chewer) for a brief period of time, before drying up and finally falling to the ground lifeless.

Once chewed, a string is useless for further summonings.

Carved rods (expanded from the notebook)

Words carved onto these may have a magical meaning. All effects stack, and are permanent.

• Lover's name: raises spirit but lowers wisdom
• Own name: negates all positive effects
• Nemesis' name: unable to kill any of his/her relatives
• Mother's name: easily irritated. 25 % risk of picking a fight with anyone
• Own deity's name: watched. Will be struck down at first sign of breaking any commandment
• Other deity's name: each night is filled with erotic dreams about the god
• Reversal of any of the items on this list: same effect, only inverted
• Any spell name: rod is loaded with a random, non-lethal spell (i.e. not the spell carved). If there's already a spell loaded, it will mix with the new
• Name of birthplace: wielder is teleported three metres in random direction each time he/she is hurt
• Names of animals: worships a new item at random each day
• Words without meaning: rod becomes edible & nutritious for ten seconds, and will feel like a loaf of bread
• Single letter: rod bends in the shape of the letter, with the risk of grappling the wielder
• The word "WORD": the rod grows to twice its current size every time the wielder speaks
• A typical dwarven name: rod turns into obsidian but loses its magical potency
• A typical elven name: an ear grows out like a leaf. Whispering spells in it is one way to load the rod with power
• Symbols that aren't letters: the rod takes flight like a rocket and disappears into the sky. It will explode loudly a minute later.
• Name of a song: the wielder can hear the tune playing repeatedly inside his/her head the next 24 hours. If the rod is used like a lummi stick during this time, a random spell is loaded into the rod of same level as the number of minutes the wielder kept drumming (unless he/she plays out of tune; then the rod starts burning)
• The word "ROD": random words are carved by an unknown force, each one causing an effect as usual (pick up the nearest dictionary and look up ten words randomly, and consult this list for each one)