The Everyking

THE EVERYKING

The Everyking is not a king. He just hangs around taverns and the like, sitting there with his arms steady on the bar counter as if he's ready to take off, glaring at other people, occasionally shouting "WADDAYA WANT, PEASANT?" or "BAH".

He made his crown out of crows, because he misheard a long time ago, and will remake it once a week.

He will present himself as THE EVERYKING, which doesn't mean he thinks himself as the king of everything, but rather a king for every thing you can think of, i.e. a king for bread crumbs, ants, the wind, a specific wall in your house, etc.

His throne is always located next to a bar counter, but he's a modest drinker.

He shouts, and has bad hearing (or just picks the things he wants to hear).

People tend to either ignore him completely, or laugh behind his back, and authorities in general doesn't cause him any trouble since he always pays whatever taxes they throw at him.

 

Income? His coins doesn't come from earnest work, but rather from a forgotten and well hidden underground tomb out in the woods, littered with copper. The Everyking doesn't fear them, as he is a firm believer that the ghouls and ghosts in the tomb are old servants of his - and surprisingly, they do too, because they are just as delusional as him, and will happily let him pick a couple of coins every now and then. They will protect him. The tomb is five levels deep, but the Everyking only traverses the first two, which is probably for the better since whatever lurks deeper than that doesn't share views with the upper ghosts.

Once in a while, someone will ask about the whereabouts of the Everyqueen, which will be met with a stern rebuff and something unintelligible.

Crows avoids him.