YEAH WELL THAT MAY BE SO BUT HOW ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU...?
Doesn't counter. You take full damage, but upon impact you spontaneously cast a spell back starting with the same letter as the incoming spell, because yeah well my memory may be foggy but remember that camping trip yeah you do and remember that money I said you could keep and...
Doesn't matter if you can't cast spells, a spell will fire off anyway, because retaliating isn't about details, it's about having the last word! Yeah it is! Is too! Yeah well that may be so but how about the time...
YEAH I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
First time it is cast, it doesn't actually counter the incoming spell - you just face that damage full on.
But if you're targeted a second time with the same spell, you only take half damage, because yeah I like heard you the first time dimwit, like, oh my lord, are you a broken record or just a broken soul?
And if you're targeted a third time, only a third, and so on.
Additionally, after the first time, roll a d6. On a 6, the incoming spell splits and bounces back and does the same damage amount as it just did to you (half, third etc.), like WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THIS I SAID I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME LIKE OH MY GOD CALL SOMEONE.
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 25, 2019
AD&D Monster Manual as haiku (part 3 - C)
CAMEL, Wild
Fifty percent risk
Wet shot of blinding
Bodily fluid
CARRION CRAWLER
Handy flesh hoover
My game is death and decay
Mmm, what's rotting dear?
CATOBLEPAS
I asked her out, she
said "No redeeming features!"
Nobody loves me
CATTLE, Wild
I'm Steve the Stampede
I'll fucking run over you
You better run son
CENTAUR
Here, have a man bag
The ladies dig it, you know?
Because I'm worth it
CENTIPEDE, Giant
THE ANGER, THE RUSH,
THE BITE, THE POISON, THE CRUSH
Yeah, no real danger
CEREBRAL PARASITE
Sorry I was blind
You are always on my mind
So happy you're mine
CHIMERA
Destruction in thirds
Palette of death, a dire choice
Let me see the goat
COCKATRICE
Beatrice the Cock
She had a masonry touch
But hey, that beak though
COUATL
Speak all, listen none
Psionically aware
Cook til very rare
CRAB, Giant
Enlarge the mundane
is not the answer, rather
transpose A and R
CRAYFISH, Giant
Cherax Destructor!
Snip snap clip clap crash hi-hat
Cherax Destructor!
CROCODILE
Great wall of China
here comes, some slow, all stupid
Gently smiling jaws
Fifty percent risk
Wet shot of blinding
Bodily fluid
CARRION CRAWLER
Handy flesh hoover
My game is death and decay
Mmm, what's rotting dear?
CATOBLEPAS
I asked her out, she
said "No redeeming features!"
Nobody loves me
CATTLE, Wild
I'm Steve the Stampede
I'll fucking run over you
You better run son
CENTAUR
Here, have a man bag
The ladies dig it, you know?
Because I'm worth it
CENTIPEDE, Giant
THE ANGER, THE RUSH,
THE BITE, THE POISON, THE CRUSH
Yeah, no real danger
CEREBRAL PARASITE
Sorry I was blind
You are always on my mind
So happy you're mine
CHIMERA
Destruction in thirds
Palette of death, a dire choice
Let me see the goat
COCKATRICE
Beatrice the Cock
She had a masonry touch
But hey, that beak though
COUATL
Speak all, listen none
Psionically aware
Cook til very rare
CRAB, Giant
Enlarge the mundane
is not the answer, rather
transpose A and R
CRAYFISH, Giant
Cherax Destructor!
Snip snap clip clap crash hi-hat
Cherax Destructor!
CROCODILE
Great wall of China
here comes, some slow, all stupid
Gently smiling jaws
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 6, 2019
Saving stupid ideas I had on Google+ on this blog so that Google may delete them again in the future
For future readers: there once was a place called Google+. It was pretty nice for OSR and RPG and whatever. I wrote a lot of stupid game ideas there. A lot went unnoticed, as they do. Doesn't mean I don't want to not preserve them. Like odd coffee mugs in your cupboard - nobody likes them but you.
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Transformers monsters light-ish.
So orcs are like boars. What if some monsters could shift their lever on the ”animal - humanoid” scale dynamically whenever it fits them?
So orcs. In most cases they walk upright like humans, but let’s say they need to chase someone. They just push the ”lever” toward the animal-end on the scale slightly, so that they may run on all four faster. Maybe loose some gear. Maybe that’s why some monsters tend to prefer being naked.
Maybe there’s a risk of the lever getting stuck? Oh this gnoll tried to sneak into the human city by pullong the lever all the way to the human end - and it stuck. That gnoll is now and forever some sort of really clueless human.
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"To replace Oswald, Disney and Iwerks developed Mickey Mouse, possibly inspired by a pet mouse that Disney had adopted while working in his Laugh-O-Gram studio, although the origins of the character are unclear." (Wikipedia)
The Bridge Betwen Planes stood open for a brief period of time - a mere day - but during that time, the young Walter Disney managed to not only find its location, but also gain access to what he would later refer to as the Plane of Comicals.
There, he met inhabitants similar to human beings but yet so far off, who lived in bent and twisted buildings, travelling bent and twisted roads, following bent and twisted routines. Most inhabitants seemed to live on a day to day basis, he reckoned, since they often couldn't give a record of what had happened to them the day before. They also didn't seemed to understand the concept of tomorrow.
He named the inhabitants for Potentialists, since they gave him a multitude of ideas that he sketched down in his notebook.
On returning to our plane, Walter went over his sketches numerous times, erasing and adding, until it was presentable and approachable.
He never found the Bridge Between Planes again.
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Stupid game idea
Using domino bricks instead of tohit rolls between players to build attack combos
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Half-orcs, half-elves yes but what about half-ghosts?
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Stupid game idea 7216:
A wizard’s head grows physically larger proportionally to the number of spells memorized.
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You know how some trees like sweat through their leaves and the ground becomes all sticky and you have to walk on it on the way to the bus and suddenly you have all these leaves and grass and twigs stuck under your shoe?
There’s something gameable in there I think
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A town in the underdark, where it is truly dark, people there have no eyes. Instead, highly evolved noses, and different types of odor trails.
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In a cyberpunk game, would spells be like torrents found on Piratebay?
Sometimes it’s the correct version, but with Spanish subs etc.
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Pokemon zombiefied where you have to catch them all because the little critters are zombies and are spreading the disease.
And you cast a cast iron ball and need to crack their skull and collect the goo because it’s very valuable, but also contaigious so if you leave any goo behind other animals will eat it and become pokemon zombies.
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Not-to-scale armour
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Replace drow —> drown
They dont have dark skin, its just too dark in the depths of the ocean to see their skin.
Driders are those creepy spider crabs or what theyre called.
Lilith is a continent spanning coral reef. She cant move but she can expand.
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”Daddy, once there was a troll, and he sneezed a forest.” - my daughter, 3 years old
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Anatomically Incorrects are reanimated amalgamationskeletons created by a young failed artist living in the mountains, who skipped anatomy classes when going to art school.
The skeletons are pretty friendly but horrifying to look at (save vs fear).
The young failed artist aldo dabbles in necromancy, needless to say.
Motto: ”How hard can it be”
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basking sharks are sea-trolls
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Reversed Sages
You don't come to these to get answers. You come to them to hear the questions you should be asking yourself to complete your current objectives.
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All venison consumed during a full moon comes alive inside the person who ate it.
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Lampires drink blood and illuminates the area
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Game idea 9
Wisps are named so because they contain liquid Wish magic.
They are actually more like coconuts. You have to cleave them and drink their innards to gain the wish spell.
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All those evil looking doors and altars and goblets and carved stone frames and door knobs with thorns and fangs and demon eyes and all in high detail and excellent but fearsome craftmanship...someone made those.
Some bloke on the evil team is an excellent artist. It's his/her job to make all those fearful and terrible but also very nicely done things.
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Stupid game idea 12938123
Your fridge is all you need for world building.
The stuff you have in there, and their placement relative to each other, tells their own stories.
At the bottom; the Green Lands. Half men, half vegetables. Some age quicker than others. A foul stench. Is it the uprising you smell? Oppressed, but they can't be caged no more.
At the top; the Alchemists in their Glass Towers. Simple alcoholics, or geniuses? Some more filled with themselves than others. Take a sip of their wisdom if you dare - no one knows where it will lead you.
The door swings open; the Revolting Plane. It comes and goes. When it's near, everything gets cold. The Ivory Watchtowers, cubic and tall. Some say their halls flows with milk, some say the only entrance is at the top
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Stupid game idea 95321
Using "Antiques Roadshow" in your game as the only mean to identify magic items.
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"I ALWAYS WANT TO BITE, BECAUSE I AM AN OLD KING"
(said in a robotic voice by my 3-year old daughter while playing with Lego. Probably gameable)
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Stupid game idea 4
You know all those entries, like:
LEECH, Giant
BEAVER, Giant
RAT, Giant
GAR, Giant
etc
They are now real giants (e.g. really tall dumb humanoids), but head is of the animal. Skin is of same texture and properties as the animal. They still live in the same environment (under water etc.).
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Drawing portraits with your eyes closed is a mutant generator in itself
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Stupid game idea 619245
Ettins, hydras and other multiple headed creatures all talk in canon.
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Stupid game idea 51914
Treat the Monster Manual as a collection of human clans/houses instead.
"House Beholder: eleven eyes awatching" and so on.
If an entry mentions psionic abilities, read it as the clan's willingness to intrigue/plot (eg "play mindgames").
"% in lair" could indicate nomadic clans (or degree thereof).
And so on.
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Stupid game idea 9824
Butterflies are now mind flayers.
They still suck your brains out, but only a little!
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Stupid game idea 9971
Ents don't walk upright.
They must uproot and then fall down, before they can crawl like a centipede.
They are blind but their roots serves as feelers.
They use local psionics (1-2 metres) to compel animals to help them with basic chores.
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Stupid game idea 175328
Everytime a dwarf gains a level, s/he gets wider.
Everytime an elf gains a level, s/he gets taller.
The effect should resemble old cheap texture effects found in those first 3D-games that came in the 90s.
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Forest Queen
The reagent's dress changes with the seasons, and is in sync with each and every tree in her garden. There's one tree missing on the back, that being the one tree her late husband hung himself from (and the tree was cut down shortly after, therefore changing the dress).
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Stupid game idea 5132
Rewrite every spell so that it they can be tuned like an ADSR-envelope.
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Stupid game idea 3
Ants are spreaders of rumours.
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I'm thinking time travelling is like a git tree.
If you go back in time, you're leaving your branch hanging there, and if you commit new changes to the past, it becomes harder and harder to incorporate your hanging future into the new future.
Time travellers will all have at least one colleague who moans about orphaned futures. "History should be in a straight line!!!!"
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While capturing spirits may only be successfully done with a camcorder, field experiments have shown that ordinary cameras may capture/borrow aspects or moods of said spectre, as a way of weakening them (or for studying).
Practicing this with any non-instant camera is bound for utter disaster, as the borrowed aspects of the spectre rests in single frames, tightly grouped together inside the camera (it's only a matter of time before the energies of the framed aspects form into something sentient). We shall not even mention the horrors of mixing frames of multiple spectres on the same undeveloped film.
Using a instant camera is much better, as the frame is developed instantly. But beware of starting a collection of spectre Polaroids: like sharks, spectres can smell the scent of aspects from miles away.
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Stupid game idea 915
A ghostbustin' game set in early 80s. You captire ghosts using regular portable VCRs.
One tape can hold one ghost safetly. But people are cheapskates and crams multiple ghosts into the same tape, causing the ghosts to transform and escape more easily.
Soviet agents have been using a reverse technique to possess US spies - sometimes with captured ghosts, sometimes with captured "volunteers".
The tapes of captured ghosts are still viewable in a regular VHS player, but it's the worst horror you'll ever witness. Popular amongst teens, and there's a black market supporting it.
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A Remove Disease alternative based on my week sick:
When someone cast remove disease on you, you are transferred to some feverish tiny flesh dungeon (2-3 interconnected empty rooms, all leading to one bigger) - basically your inside.
There you'll have to go head to head with your disease in the shape of something fitting (find a random demon generator).
The other players have turned into weapons, hanging around your waist (encumberence doesn't count because is this real is it fantasy??).
Base the weapon type on the player's class:
- fighter: claymore
- cleric: mace
- wizard: wand
Or something more exciting. Maybe make them + weapons based on the players level. Or turn each player into powerful spells.
If you slay your disease, you wake up healthy as a nut core (Swedish proverb).
If you fail you wake up with minimal HP but at least disease ridden. But you wake up d4 weeks later.
Twists: casting banish on the disease demon will force it into reality, but leaving you behind in your fever dream (coma?) until someone slays it.
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Stupid idea #2124
What if the entire campaign world except the player characters were aware of the fact that it wasn't real? Like a large movie set?
Like, the player's would walk into a city, but most of the buildings would be fake if the examined them closely (like in old Western movies with their large facades).
Some rooms would contain used props.
Fighting a monster would sometimes knock of the costume's head, revealing the actor underneath.
Loose papers could be found throughout the world, hastily written manuscripts ("SCENE XXXIV. ENTER STAGE RIGHT.") with dialogues.
The avatar of your DM, almost breaking the fourth wall by looking into the camera.
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Wizard curse: metathesis
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Turn Undead: flesh starts to grow on the withered body in front of you. A minute later, the body is fully restored to its former self.
At least as long as the spell lasts.
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Wish spell revision: turn it into a restore savestate as found in emulators. You don't know how long it's been since the last save, or if it was saved with really bad timing (eg. saved just before big bad boss, low on hearts), or if it's corrupted (eg. will screw up the world's RAM).
There's no save state spell available to the players. Who creates these saves? Gods?
And it's a 1st level spell.
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Reverse advancement: instead of unlocking fireballs and devastation at high levels, you start with them at low levels. Each time you level up, you lose the ability to use one or more of these higher level spells.
The gnarly old sorceror in his treetower, you know he killed a platoon of giants all those years ago, yeah? Haven't seen him casting anything since then though...
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Clouds to rocks
Turn any seen clouds into boulders. They fall down immediately.
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What if magic items started leaking/corroding like the batteries in your old toys/Walkmans, you know when they don't work and you open the battery hatch and it's all white and pulverized and such because you forgot about them and they've been living in a box in a cellar for 33 years.
How would a magic missile corrode?
Fox's cunning?
Finger of death?
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Buff spells that need to be removed (like a curse), otherwise you turn into something else?
Fly: turn into a bird permanently unless removed within X hours
Water breathing: turn into a dolphin unless etc.
Fox's cunning: turn into a fox unless etc.
And so on. Could perhaps delay the undesired effect based on PC level.
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The undead city of Cotard.
But they are not undead.
But they say they are.
And there's a mob marching over there to burn the liches and necros to the ground.
But the liches aren't undead.
But they say they are.
And so on...
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Knights of Citodonia, the mellowest fighters
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Random name generator: try to write any name as fast as possible on your phone.
For better result: use wrong hand, or type while drink.
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Time Flies
Insect swarm. HP/Damage equal to # in swarm. AC nonexisting (roll damage = that many dies). Kill one = you age 1 year.
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...and that's all that will be preserved from my presence on Google+. The selected posts above span from 2019-02 to 2014-something. There are probably more, but my back hurts and frankly - nobody cares. There's no such thing as a very good game idea that was lost forever - because someone will always re-think it again.
And here's an image of an orc pointing finger at something I just drew that has nothing to do with any of this:
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So orcs are like boars. What if some monsters could shift their lever on the ”animal - humanoid” scale dynamically whenever it fits them?
So orcs. In most cases they walk upright like humans, but let’s say they need to chase someone. They just push the ”lever” toward the animal-end on the scale slightly, so that they may run on all four faster. Maybe loose some gear. Maybe that’s why some monsters tend to prefer being naked.
Maybe there’s a risk of the lever getting stuck? Oh this gnoll tried to sneak into the human city by pullong the lever all the way to the human end - and it stuck. That gnoll is now and forever some sort of really clueless human.
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The Bridge Betwen Planes stood open for a brief period of time - a mere day - but during that time, the young Walter Disney managed to not only find its location, but also gain access to what he would later refer to as the Plane of Comicals.
There, he met inhabitants similar to human beings but yet so far off, who lived in bent and twisted buildings, travelling bent and twisted roads, following bent and twisted routines. Most inhabitants seemed to live on a day to day basis, he reckoned, since they often couldn't give a record of what had happened to them the day before. They also didn't seemed to understand the concept of tomorrow.
He named the inhabitants for Potentialists, since they gave him a multitude of ideas that he sketched down in his notebook.
On returning to our plane, Walter went over his sketches numerous times, erasing and adding, until it was presentable and approachable.
He never found the Bridge Between Planes again.
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Using domino bricks instead of tohit rolls between players to build attack combos
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A wizard’s head grows physically larger proportionally to the number of spells memorized.
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There’s something gameable in there I think
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A town in the underdark, where it is truly dark, people there have no eyes. Instead, highly evolved noses, and different types of odor trails.
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In a cyberpunk game, would spells be like torrents found on Piratebay?
Sometimes it’s the correct version, but with Spanish subs etc.
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Pokemon zombiefied where you have to catch them all because the little critters are zombies and are spreading the disease.
And you cast a cast iron ball and need to crack their skull and collect the goo because it’s very valuable, but also contaigious so if you leave any goo behind other animals will eat it and become pokemon zombies.
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Not-to-scale armour
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They dont have dark skin, its just too dark in the depths of the ocean to see their skin.
Driders are those creepy spider crabs or what theyre called.
Lilith is a continent spanning coral reef. She cant move but she can expand.
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The skeletons are pretty friendly but horrifying to look at (save vs fear).
The young failed artist aldo dabbles in necromancy, needless to say.
Motto: ”How hard can it be”
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You don't come to these to get answers. You come to them to hear the questions you should be asking yourself to complete your current objectives.
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Wisps are named so because they contain liquid Wish magic.
They are actually more like coconuts. You have to cleave them and drink their innards to gain the wish spell.
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Some bloke on the evil team is an excellent artist. It's his/her job to make all those fearful and terrible but also very nicely done things.
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Your fridge is all you need for world building.
The stuff you have in there, and their placement relative to each other, tells their own stories.
At the bottom; the Green Lands. Half men, half vegetables. Some age quicker than others. A foul stench. Is it the uprising you smell? Oppressed, but they can't be caged no more.
At the top; the Alchemists in their Glass Towers. Simple alcoholics, or geniuses? Some more filled with themselves than others. Take a sip of their wisdom if you dare - no one knows where it will lead you.
The door swings open; the Revolting Plane. It comes and goes. When it's near, everything gets cold. The Ivory Watchtowers, cubic and tall. Some say their halls flows with milk, some say the only entrance is at the top
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Using "Antiques Roadshow" in your game as the only mean to identify magic items.
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(said in a robotic voice by my 3-year old daughter while playing with Lego. Probably gameable)
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You know all those entries, like:
LEECH, Giant
BEAVER, Giant
RAT, Giant
GAR, Giant
etc
They are now real giants (e.g. really tall dumb humanoids), but head is of the animal. Skin is of same texture and properties as the animal. They still live in the same environment (under water etc.).
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Ettins, hydras and other multiple headed creatures all talk in canon.
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Treat the Monster Manual as a collection of human clans/houses instead.
"House Beholder: eleven eyes awatching" and so on.
If an entry mentions psionic abilities, read it as the clan's willingness to intrigue/plot (eg "play mindgames").
"% in lair" could indicate nomadic clans (or degree thereof).
And so on.
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Butterflies are now mind flayers.
They still suck your brains out, but only a little!
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Ents don't walk upright.
They must uproot and then fall down, before they can crawl like a centipede.
They are blind but their roots serves as feelers.
They use local psionics (1-2 metres) to compel animals to help them with basic chores.
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Everytime a dwarf gains a level, s/he gets wider.
Everytime an elf gains a level, s/he gets taller.
The effect should resemble old cheap texture effects found in those first 3D-games that came in the 90s.
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The reagent's dress changes with the seasons, and is in sync with each and every tree in her garden. There's one tree missing on the back, that being the one tree her late husband hung himself from (and the tree was cut down shortly after, therefore changing the dress).
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Rewrite every spell so that it they can be tuned like an ADSR-envelope.
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Ants are spreaders of rumours.
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If you go back in time, you're leaving your branch hanging there, and if you commit new changes to the past, it becomes harder and harder to incorporate your hanging future into the new future.
Time travellers will all have at least one colleague who moans about orphaned futures. "History should be in a straight line!!!!"
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Practicing this with any non-instant camera is bound for utter disaster, as the borrowed aspects of the spectre rests in single frames, tightly grouped together inside the camera (it's only a matter of time before the energies of the framed aspects form into something sentient). We shall not even mention the horrors of mixing frames of multiple spectres on the same undeveloped film.
Using a instant camera is much better, as the frame is developed instantly. But beware of starting a collection of spectre Polaroids: like sharks, spectres can smell the scent of aspects from miles away.
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A ghostbustin' game set in early 80s. You captire ghosts using regular portable VCRs.
One tape can hold one ghost safetly. But people are cheapskates and crams multiple ghosts into the same tape, causing the ghosts to transform and escape more easily.
Soviet agents have been using a reverse technique to possess US spies - sometimes with captured ghosts, sometimes with captured "volunteers".
The tapes of captured ghosts are still viewable in a regular VHS player, but it's the worst horror you'll ever witness. Popular amongst teens, and there's a black market supporting it.
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When someone cast remove disease on you, you are transferred to some feverish tiny flesh dungeon (2-3 interconnected empty rooms, all leading to one bigger) - basically your inside.
There you'll have to go head to head with your disease in the shape of something fitting (find a random demon generator).
The other players have turned into weapons, hanging around your waist (encumberence doesn't count because is this real is it fantasy??).
Base the weapon type on the player's class:
- fighter: claymore
- cleric: mace
- wizard: wand
Or something more exciting. Maybe make them + weapons based on the players level. Or turn each player into powerful spells.
If you slay your disease, you wake up healthy as a nut core (Swedish proverb).
If you fail you wake up with minimal HP but at least disease ridden. But you wake up d4 weeks later.
Twists: casting banish on the disease demon will force it into reality, but leaving you behind in your fever dream (coma?) until someone slays it.
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What if the entire campaign world except the player characters were aware of the fact that it wasn't real? Like a large movie set?
Like, the player's would walk into a city, but most of the buildings would be fake if the examined them closely (like in old Western movies with their large facades).
Some rooms would contain used props.
Fighting a monster would sometimes knock of the costume's head, revealing the actor underneath.
Loose papers could be found throughout the world, hastily written manuscripts ("SCENE XXXIV. ENTER STAGE RIGHT.") with dialogues.
The avatar of your DM, almost breaking the fourth wall by looking into the camera.
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At least as long as the spell lasts.
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There's no save state spell available to the players. Who creates these saves? Gods?
And it's a 1st level spell.
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The gnarly old sorceror in his treetower, you know he killed a platoon of giants all those years ago, yeah? Haven't seen him casting anything since then though...
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Turn any seen clouds into boulders. They fall down immediately.
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How would a magic missile corrode?
Fox's cunning?
Finger of death?
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Fly: turn into a bird permanently unless removed within X hours
Water breathing: turn into a dolphin unless etc.
Fox's cunning: turn into a fox unless etc.
And so on. Could perhaps delay the undesired effect based on PC level.
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But they are not undead.
But they say they are.
And there's a mob marching over there to burn the liches and necros to the ground.
But the liches aren't undead.
But they say they are.
And so on...
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For better result: use wrong hand, or type while drink.
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Insect swarm. HP/Damage equal to # in swarm. AC nonexisting (roll damage = that many dies). Kill one = you age 1 year.
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...and that's all that will be preserved from my presence on Google+. The selected posts above span from 2019-02 to 2014-something. There are probably more, but my back hurts and frankly - nobody cares. There's no such thing as a very good game idea that was lost forever - because someone will always re-think it again.
And here's an image of an orc pointing finger at something I just drew that has nothing to do with any of this:
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