Tell everybody to bring physical spell books

Some of us still use CDs. Or even LPs. Or musicassettes.

Why not use them as spell books?


  • Track number is spell level
  • Track name is spell name (obviously)
  • The A-side contains the hits; good spells that doesn't take too long to cast or memorize, but their effect will fade over time
  • The B-side will take longer to memorize, and their immediate effect on you (or the spell target) will not be obvious at first (e.g. there may be additional side-effects). It will take time to get used to these spells, and there will always be wizards claiming these to be their favourites
  • Track length tells us its components (minute field), and range (seconds):
    • Components (minutes):
      • 0-1: Verbal (singing)
      • 2: Verbal (growling)
      • 3: Somatic (fine dancing, ballet)
      • 4: Somatic (krumping)
      • 5: Material (food)
      • 6: Material (steel)
      • 7 and above: combine the ones above in any way such as their sum equals the track length in minutes, for instance 5 (Food)+2 (Growl) = 7 minutes
    • Range (seconds):
      • 00-19: Personal
      • 20-29: Touch
      • 30-49: Earshot
      • 50-58: Eye sight
      • 59: Thought (if met in person less than an hour ago)


If the spell effect - drawn from the name of the spell (e.g. song title) - isn't obvious, it's up to the casting player to make up its effect to the GM in a convincing way. If you don't get your desired effect, add a undesirable side-effect to the spell (e.g. caster's nose grows each successful casting) and keep going. Or switch CD.

The Compleat Spell Book of The Blue Album

MY NAME IS JONAS
The target doesn't recognize you, even if you've previously met. More so, they won't be able to help you before you've stated your problem to at least three different people, all residing in different buildings.

Cast upon yourself to cause amnesia.


NO ONE ELSE
1st to 7th level: one additional target/every odd level
8th level: can instead specify an area up to 20 feet radius

The target(s) can't be affected by magical means besides spells cast by you. This also means any spells cast upon the target(s)/area immediately affects you.


THE WORLD HAS TURNED AND LEFT ME HERE
Spell level: 20

Also known as the reversed-levitation spell, or cosmic-disruption spell. The caster causes the planet s/he stands on to quickly change its course (randomly) through the universe, and cut off the caster from the planets gravitational pull (the planet actually forgets about this body).

As the planet keeps going on its new course, the caster remains in this fixed place, but to the naked eye it will look like this person drifts away into the sky, and further more, into space.


BUDDY HOLLY
Gates in a friendly golem named Holly, who will aid the caster for the next 160 seconds.
The golem suffers from myopia and needs to stand extremely close to its targets to successfully attack.


UNDONE - THE SWEATER SONG
Cast upon a target currently astral travelling to unravel their silver chord into multiple fibres. The target is now less vulnerable to the old hey-let's-cut-this-chord-and-kill-him-while-astral-projected, as long as at least one fibre is intact.

On the other hand, there's a risk a fibre snaps off and attaches to someone/something else - projecting in properties of the attached object into the astral walker.


SURF WAX AMERICA
Cuts travel time in half when seafaring.
If cast in a tavern, turns all ale into seawater.
If cast upon an incoming wave, turns it into a thousand pound keg,


SAY IT AIN'T SO
Forces the target to rephrase its last stated fact, rendering it false in a compelling way.


IN THE GARAGE
Sends targeted non-living things away to the nearest available space (in this world/plane).
When cast, roll and see where it ends up (the caster knows the exact spot after casting):

  1. In the nearest dragon's lair
  2. In a locked room at the last tavern visited
  3. In the cavity of a giant's tooth (a really big giant)
  4. Ten metres in front of the caster
  5. At the bottom of the last lake crossed
  6. 100 metres up in the air, seemingly stuck but actually falling at a rate of 1 meter/day


HOLIDAY
Just by sheer memorization of this spell, a stretch of land (most likely a road) in a strange and distant land will render the wizard invincible when s/he walks there.

The area is always eight metres wide, and as long as the caster's level in metres. On that road s/he will never die.


ONLY IN DREAMS
Conjures a tiny, tiny sprite parasite, that burrows into the victim's bone and marrow. They're caries to your skeleton.

The only way to rid one's body of them is to confront them in a dream. In these dreams, the sprite is always of human size, dressed in a gown, and demands a dance - after which a fight to the death is inevitable.