The Compleat Spell Book of The Blue Album

MY NAME IS JONAS
The target doesn't recognize you, even if you've previously met. More so, they won't be able to help you before you've stated your problem to at least three different people, all residing in different buildings.

Cast upon yourself to cause amnesia.


NO ONE ELSE
1st to 7th level: one additional target/every odd level
8th level: can instead specify an area up to 20 feet radius

The target(s) can't be affected by magical means besides spells cast by you. This also means any spells cast upon the target(s)/area immediately affects you.


THE WORLD HAS TURNED AND LEFT ME HERE
Spell level: 20

Also known as the reversed-levitation spell, or cosmic-disruption spell. The caster causes the planet s/he stands on to quickly change its course (randomly) through the universe, and cut off the caster from the planets gravitational pull (the planet actually forgets about this body).

As the planet keeps going on its new course, the caster remains in this fixed place, but to the naked eye it will look like this person drifts away into the sky, and further more, into space.


BUDDY HOLLY
Gates in a friendly golem named Holly, who will aid the caster for the next 160 seconds.
The golem suffers from myopia and needs to stand extremely close to its targets to successfully attack.


UNDONE - THE SWEATER SONG
Cast upon a target currently astral travelling to unravel their silver chord into multiple fibres. The target is now less vulnerable to the old hey-let's-cut-this-chord-and-kill-him-while-astral-projected, as long as at least one fibre is intact.

On the other hand, there's a risk a fibre snaps off and attaches to someone/something else - projecting in properties of the attached object into the astral walker.


SURF WAX AMERICA
Cuts travel time in half when seafaring.
If cast in a tavern, turns all ale into seawater.
If cast upon an incoming wave, turns it into a thousand pound keg,


SAY IT AIN'T SO
Forces the target to rephrase its last stated fact, rendering it false in a compelling way.


IN THE GARAGE
Sends targeted non-living things away to the nearest available space (in this world/plane).
When cast, roll and see where it ends up (the caster knows the exact spot after casting):

  1. In the nearest dragon's lair
  2. In a locked room at the last tavern visited
  3. In the cavity of a giant's tooth (a really big giant)
  4. Ten metres in front of the caster
  5. At the bottom of the last lake crossed
  6. 100 metres up in the air, seemingly stuck but actually falling at a rate of 1 meter/day


HOLIDAY
Just by sheer memorization of this spell, a stretch of land (most likely a road) in a strange and distant land will render the wizard invincible when s/he walks there.

The area is always eight metres wide, and as long as the caster's level in metres. On that road s/he will never die.


ONLY IN DREAMS
Conjures a tiny, tiny sprite parasite, that burrows into the victim's bone and marrow. They're caries to your skeleton.

The only way to rid one's body of them is to confront them in a dream. In these dreams, the sprite is always of human size, dressed in a gown, and demands a dance - after which a fight to the death is inevitable.



Dreams as means of teleportation

Falling asleep while holding a folded map will transport your dreamself to a random spot within the map's borders.

(so skip those naval maps)

One's dreamself is not to be confused with the astral body, nor is the place a perfect replica of the place transported to; both things (called dreamentities) are generalizations made by all the people (and beings) dreaming about that place (and you) at the same time.

So, in order to visit that place depicted on that map you went to bed with, there must...

  • ...be people dreaming about you (to form your dreamself)
  • ...be people dreaming about the place on your map (to form the dreamentity of that place)

Generalizations are almost never true. Your dreamself may very well end up being big-headed (literally) if that's how the people dreaming about you feels about you.

The same goes for the place. If nobody's dreaming about your destination - but enough people are dreaming about you - your dreamself will end up in the Hall of the Mare, a black void consisting only of a dimly lit throne, upon which the Queen Mare sits and stares at you with her terrible multitude of eyes until you awake. Each failed teleportation will anger her; fail enough times and she will rise from her throne on her spiderlike legs, perforating the membrane that separates the Mare and our world. She leaves you there, alone in the hall, but you know she's probably out to do something to your physical body.

Where do you want to go tonight?

Cyberpunk city generator (sort of), part 1

While reading up on the tragic background story of Bubble Bobble the other day, I found myself all of a sudden staring at old circuit boards.

Don't they look like futuristic cities from above? Warehouses, monorails, parks (synthetic, but hey, at least I got a sheep to care for)...

Look at this for instance (from Wikipedia):


This is what I see:


(...and everything between is just streets, LCD-thugs, and beambikers, of course).

Or this rail yard for lightbeamed monorail trains (also from Wikipedia):



To find more circuit boards/cyberpunk cities, just google "pcb arcade" (I added "arcade" because I wanted the boards to look old and/or have more of those big black thingies. Yes, I am aware they do have a technical name, but for now let's just call them thingies).

In part 2 I'll add a bunch of tables to generate LCD-thugs, beambikers, corporations to trust your life with, etc.

Another map



Black is water! Or obsidian. Or ink from overly aggressive octupuses living on the seabed.