Regardless of experience points, you may only level up...

1. Dancing on a rooftop
2. Holding a bouquet of at least seven different flowers (and then tasting a petal of each)
3. Riding a winged evil, holding on to its ears
4. Failing a jump across a great chasm
5. Starting a false rumour, and be able to hear again from someone else
6. Circling a goblin three times
7. Making a public announcement that discredits you in a town square 
8. Crawling under a pig twice
9. Singing in a prison cell
10. During a siege
11. Steal something and return it the next day - unnoticed
12. Successfully impersonating a noble person and fooling at least two

PuterPlane (an extremely tiny setting): STACKSPACE

STACKSPACE

• STACKSPACE is the area between the planets (like normal space)
• It's also kind of an entity that likes to keep track of whoever floats around in it
• You may always enter STACKSPACE, but to leave either...
• You must be the last being who entered
• Or everyone who entered before you must first leave, in proper order
• The CORRECT ORDER OF THINGS is a large list readable by all beings in STACKSPACE
• It can be downloaded through the waves at 5918.43 MHz
• Lists beings (and their whereabouts) that need to leave before you
• Since it gives away locations, it's a popular tool to use by bounty hunters
• OVERFLOWING STACKSPACE occurs when too many beings enter STACKSPACE, and it can't keep track of them all
• The OVERFLOW causes ALL beings to be flushed onto any random planet in the being's proximity, thus emptying STACKSPACE completely
• Rumour has it that it's possible to enter STACKSPACE during the small window of an OVERFLOW
• You still take up space, but you may leave at any time
• Leaving in this way (improperly, out-of-order) causes noticeable fragmentation ("holes") of the void
• When fragmentation is too high, the COLLECTOR will arrive and:
1. Lock down STACKSPACE (unable to enter or leave)
2. Spend time hunting down beings currently in STACKSPACE, and put them in a neat line
3. When the COLLECTOR feels like the job is done, it will unlock STACKSPACE and flush the neat line onto the nearest planet/sun
• Beings who die in STACKSPACE are still counted for; they too must "leave"
• A few blaster shots most likely takes care of this

Castle Clot: a gallery

Pocketmod: SPÄJS

Sometimes I do pocketmods. They look like crap most of the time but they're fun to make.

And I'll try to upload three versions each time; raw, slightly cleaned-up and transparent.

First out is SPÄJS!

No, I don't know what the numbers represent.

Yes, it folds differently from what the pocketmod folding video shows. Maybe that's an improvement, maybe I was taught wrong, maybe it's a conspiracy.

Enjoy!

(And folding instructions for pocketmods can be found here.)

UPDATE: I've uploaded them to Google Drive in a folder that will keep expanding, since it's impossible to direct-link to the original images from here (where are they???).

Slightly cleaned-up

Raw

Transparent

Klagg and Puff, part 1

Klagg and Puff stood on a balcony, high up in the air, and watched the world around them burn.

"It's hotter than expected," Klagg said and opened up her robe a bit, revealing a tiny slice of death and decay.

"I believe that's actually what their names mean," Puff answered, her sole eye following floating ash debris passing by.

"Whose? Those?" Klagg asked and tilted her head towards the inferno far below them. There, entities consisting of nothing but swords, smoke and eyes, chased whatever remotely living, cutting them in half, before exploding in a splash of acid blood.

"No, no, not them, that's a -" Puff transferred a nine by nine matrix of symbols telepathically to Klagg.

"Oh," Klagg said surprised. "Oh. Oh! Oh, I feel so silly now, all this time I've been calling them -" Another matrix, different symbols.

"You did not!"

"Just last night, talking to their commander."

A choir of screams cut short reached the balcony; a furry of smoke and swords had just exploded, leaving a trail of twitching heads.

"That's just rude," Puff said, shaking her head. "You should feel ashamed."

"I do, I do," Klagg said concerned. "Do you think they'll forgive me? Oh silly old me, I should just keep quiet."

Puff shook her head.

"Anyway," she said. "Anyway. What were we talking about again?"

"I don't know, dear," Klagg said, her voice still anxious. "Destroying worlds always make me forget things."

"Yes, let's move on. I have other concerns I wish to discuss with you, regarding the annihilation we've been conducting for the past twelve millennia."

Puff turned around and left the balcony with firm steps, only stopping briefly to add: "Could you be a darling and do the lift-off, my arms hurt."

Klagg sighed at the thought of the poor commander, before raising her normally hidden limbs and forming a circle around her slender body. Without a sound, the Tower of Impossible Heights - upon which the balcony rested - took off from the ground and continued into space, leaving the poor planet to its inevitable destruction.

Mount Squash

Madame Maim

Atop the mountain, a bell
reddish in color, its sound so fell,
tolls her name




With a bag of souls to sell,
void is her color, rotten her smell;
Madame Maim, Madame Maim

Green Paladin

Golemblins

If you fill a wooden barrel with goblin intestines - and one or several other mundane things - under a full moon while reciting the nine verses of Bubbling Blurbs of Boghat, you'll get a golemblin.

For every mundane thing you throw in, roll a d6 and look up the result below:
1: utter failure. Regardless of what you've tossed in, the golemblin goes insane and rages, starting with you
2-3: yay, the item's positive side-effect kicks in
4: both positive and negative side-effect (if any) kicks in
5-6: yikes, only the negative side-effect of this item kicks in

Golemblins speak ghargel - a mixed dialect that sounds like stew cooking. If a golemblin gets into a heaty discussion, it may start to leak some of its gooey inside through whatever cracks in the barrel it speaks through (some golemblins have thus talked themselves to death by dehydration).

You may put in some other stuff as well to give additional properties. Be inspired by this nice table compiled by the folks over at Google+:

#	Item	Positive effect	Negative effect
1	Copper wires	Electrical attack	Chance of getting electrified and stunned when hit by metal
2	Hot coals	Smoke attack	Gets a heart of burning coal that needs to be kept burning by feeding it hot embers. One hot ember keeps the heart burning for 24 hours. There is also a chance the Golemblin creates a small flame around it whenever it takes damage.
3	Raptor claws	Extra claw attack	Gains an extra arm and claw but develops physical dysphoria and gets -1d6 on all attacks
4	Crystal ball	Clairvoyance	Makes a sound of crushing glass when walking that can be heard about 20 feet away
5	Elf ears	Sharp senses	Elf ears
6	Crushed butterflies	Flight	Addiction to pollen
7	Duckling	More obedient to its creator	Won't shut up
8	Beef shank	More HP	Is lazy and sleepy all the time
9	Jug of moonshine	Bonus to morale, immune to fear	Sings, stumbles, is drunk all the time
10	Bowl of curdled milk	Fireproof	Stinks
11	Sulfur and saltpetre	Shoots fire blasts	Explodes when reduced to 0 hp
12	Hangman's noose	Has +3 to all saving throws	Everyone in 10' radius has -3 to all saving throws
13	Big diamond	AC as full plate	Kleptomaniac
14	Viper skins	Poison bite	Always lies
15	Turtle shell	Plus 1 to AC	Moves at half speed
16	Troll skull	19 Strength	2 Intelligence
17	Rabbit's foot	Reroll 1s	Always limping
18	Tree branch	Bark skin	Stiff like a tree: -1d6 to Dexterity/Agility/Flexibility
19	Spotted dog	trip attack and good sense of smell	Prone to chasing small animals
20	Eye of a flesh demon of Choom	Cone of Disintegration	disassociative flesh tends to collapse on a failed Con save every round, pulling itself together slowly
21	Big rock	Slam and knockdown attack
22	Little rock	Slingshot attack
23	Dirty shoe	Stinking cloud attack
24	Floppy hat	Circle of comfortable shade (protects goblins from sunlight)
25	Eyepatch	Blindness attack
26	Coil of rope	Entangling lasso attack
27	Ingot of iron	Cold iron attack
28	Shiver of silver	Silver attack
29	Lump of gold	Detect richest target
30	Clod of clay	Slowing attack
31	Shard of pottery	Banish attack (ostrakha)
32	Axehead	Slashing attack
33	Bundle of bolts	Shoots bolts of goblin juju
34	Stack of paper	Administrative red tape aura increases zone of control	Extremely good at administrative tasks but is not very likely to follow any order unless it is administrative. Has a fondness for complicated tasks that takes long time to complete.
35	Coiled spring	Jump attack
36	Toy or real clown	Fear attack
37	Snail	Slime attack	Any movement is at half speed
38	Puppy dog's tail	Aura of cuteness
39	Cat eyes	Sees in the dark	Get an own agenda (only known to the Golemblin) to serve itself and wont hesitate to use others to fulfill it.
40	Frog legs	Leap and swimming	Gets slimy mucous coverd skin that is glue like
41	Fish tails	Faster swimming	Very short memory
42	Seven snakes	Constriction attack with intestines in barrel	Petrifying gaze.
43	Sword and stone	True king detection	Chance of havinging attacks returned on self.
44	Crypt Cup	-1d6 to highest ability, -1d6 to lowest ability	If the same character drings from the cup twice, it turns to dust. -1d6 on ALL abilites
45	Molted snake skin	Oily skin making it difficult to grapple	Get blind and only sense vibrations (not that sensitive though)
46	Handful of candy	Moves faster and is permanently excited (will not retreat)	Huge deficit of attention - Easy to distract
47	Marbles	Impossible to trip and make fall prone	Clattering noise (no surprise)
48	Watercolour palette	Can open passages through walls by painting a door	Becomes mute and socially awkward

(Contributors in no particular order: Luka Rejec, Liban Issa, Simon Forster, Łukasz Krupiński, Cody Mazza, Jean-François Lebreton, and that Swedish bloke.)

Some nice illustrations by some very talented people to get your imagination going:

Matthew Adams
("A barrel Golem, made with predominately with snails and spiders. I suspect an apple with a maggot was thrown in too.")

Henrik Rosenborg

Scrap Princess

Scrap Princess

Luka Rejec

Actual footage of an actual golemblin. Taken in Sweden yesterday by yours truly.

Lavender orc smells really good

Should probably have a faint aura of automatic Charm Person, or at least a calming effect on persons nearby.