BJÖRN BORG is a monochrome fantasy RPG about lost sets (and balls) and fools seeking fame, sponsorship, and rematches.
The game takes place in a bleak and alien landscape (Sweden in the seventies), where the player characters must not only fight for their survival but also devise a plan to reach the gothic palace ruin of WMBLDN in a dreadful and far away land, where they speak in a language now long forgotten.
CREATING A PLAYER CHARACTER
There is only one character class: the Björn Borg.
All player characters start with the following items:
- The ALLWOOD, the mightiest wooden wand in all the known lands, the only magical device capable of casting spells at 30 kiloponds
- A wide CIRCLET, with two coloured bands on a base of white, though it will look grey in this bleak reality. Magic keeps it elastic, and it will fit firmly around the base of the head, a crown fit for a king
- A striped, yellow SPHERE that seems to float through the air
- PANTS of minimal length
CREATURES
The player characters will meet mighty and fearful foes on their travels, all eager to bring the player characters to their knees (in a non-winning pose). Some of them are:
- MA'NWEL O'RANTES KO'RAL - old and wise sorcerer, will cast spells in exquisite volleys
- GHEE-YAIR-MOH VEE-lahs - shapeshifter, can transform into a bull
- COSROE THE TANNER - casts spells at incredible speeds, wanted on several accounts of hide frauds
- JON-PODRICK of CLAN ENROE - the nemesis of all Björn Borgs; impulsive, erratic, but powerful; may counter any spell with foul words
GAME LENGTH
At each dawn, roll 1d6 to see if the player characters encounter JON-PODRICK of CLAN ENROE. On a roll of 1, they do, and must fight to their deaths (e.g. best of five sets), after which the world ends inevitable in a - for the creatures living in that bleak period - most cruel and horrific way (e.g. the 1980s starts).
Now go and start your own apocalyptic game, set and match!
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(With apologies to Pelle Nilsson, Johan Nohr, Björn Borg, tennis enthusiasts everywhere, and the Wimbledon suburb)
Amazing. If this doesn't win an Ennie there is no justice in this cold, grey world.
ReplyDeleteWe should send the Ennie to Björn Borg himself!
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